Sub Santa

Synopsis: An original idea from TTR. Daniel Levi adores Christmas so much that he becomes the Jewish Santa. Every year he delivers, especially funny quips when kids catch him bringing in goodies. With his brother Marion taken ill, however, he rushes to his side and the real Santa takes an interest wondering what happened to people's belief of why Santa isn't showing up around Hanukkah.

~*~CAST~*~

St. Nicholas:

Mrs. Claire Nicolas:

Buddy Nicholas:

Daniel Levi:

Naomi Levi:

Avi Levi:

Hadessa Levi: (Naomi's mom)

Marion Levi:

Janet Levi: (Marion's wife)

Brianna Levi: (their daughter)

Donna Estelle: (Dan's love interest)

Tess Estelle: (Donna's mom)

Fred Estelle: (Donna's dad)

Jingle: (elf, male)

Jangle: (elf, male)

Frostbite: (elf, male)

Holly: (elf, female)

Snowflake: (elf, female)

Ivy: (elf, female)

Icicle: (elf, male)

Tinsel: (elf, female)

Scene 1—Sending Cheer to All He Knows

Marion: Dan, why are you in such a rush ?

Dan: I know, Marion, I KNOW ! I'm like this every year, remember ?

Marion: Sure, but I just don't get it.

Naomi: You and everyone else in this family, hon.

(They laugh)

Avi: You and your kafekta holiday ! I mean, Christmas ! Why ?

Dan: We celebrate Hanukkah too, but I have to do something for kids who are less fortunate. I always felt bad for those sweeties who had nothing for Hanukkah. Their parents couldn't afford it. So, here I am, Sub Santa.

Hadessa: Sub Santa ? You mean, after the first Santa who spread cheer worldwide to everyone during the holidays ? ALL Holidays. Not just Hanukkah, but Christmas, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa, Ramadan and Epiphany ?

Dan: The very same. Wouldn't you know it, grandma, that Sub Santa was in fact, Moshe, grand pop himself !

Hadessa: That's totally meshuggenah. There's no way. Santa is immortal, and my Moshe's been gone for 7 years now.

Dan: True, yes. The first Sub Santa, though, he was also a Moshe. He was a helper to the Big Man himself. He always felt sad for kids during the Festival of Lights. He wanted to make it memorable. So not only did he give them gifts and lessons to become truly exceptional people, he gave them shtick too.

Hadessa: Yes, that definitely sounds like many times great grandpa Moshe.

Naomi: How do you know so much about my great grandfather ?

Dan: (wriggles eyebrows) I did some research. Got myself on Ancestry.com. He lived to be a ripe old age, 300 in fact.

Avi: (spits out coffee) Get outta town with that ! Only people in the Biblical era...No...way...

Dan: Yes way, abba. You knew he was from the Holy Land. He was, in fact, a rabbi.

Avi: I know but...how on Earth ? No one lives that long these days.

Dan: Spice, exercise, laughter, and the power of belief. That is why once I found his journals years ago...

Naomi: To think I thought those were lost !

Dan: No, just worn and tattered but...(pats them off, coughs) still good. I have the bloodline. I'm built for this. I can't stand around chattering though. Children are counting on me this year.

Marion: Be careful, you big lug.

Avi: Hag shemehak !

Dan: Hag shemehak !

(Dan goes out spreading Hanukkah cheer to all people, not really caring of where they are from, walk of life or even if they're actually devout. Hava Nagila plays in the background and he makes it home to a hot dinner, shivering.)

Naomi: We just got this warmed up.

Dan: Thank heaven. I'm famished. (shivers)

Avi: Sit down, tell us what it was like.

Marion: Does the suit give you any abilities ?

Dan: I think it actually gives me more adrenaline. Still I'm a man in a red Santa suit, and I don't have the body or build for it, but no one seems to matter. I keep the true spirit of the Holidays alive and well.

Bri: Ah, uncle Dan, that's so sweet !

Janet: That's Dan in a nutshell.

Dan: Speaking of which, Jan. I got nuts...for everyone !

Avi: I thought that joke was going to go south quickly.

Bri: Hey, you know Dan.

Dan: (gives each of the family members a gift) Remember, we've got 7 more insane nights of this, and I will deliver, guaranteed.

All (except Dan) We know ! We know !

('The Hanukkah Song' plays in the background as Dan makes everyone's wishes come true.)

Dan: (narrating) The flickering light of the menorah's glow made me feel warm, toasty, and loved. Just the whole act of sharing my good fortune was enough to keep me warm until next Hanukkah came. I felt I had hit my stride, even at the young age of 37. Then, the unexpected came.

(Scene shift)

Scene 2—It's Only Cancer, What's the Worst That Could Happen ?

Dan: (Whistling an upbeat version of 'Up On the Housetop') It's that time of year again, angel !

Donna: (hugs him, trying not to cry)

Dan: Donna, what's wrong ? It's not like you to be upset over the holidays. What's up ?

Donna: I got a call from your parents. Marion has cancer and it doesn't look good.

Dan: (in denial, laughs forcefully) Baloney. Marion is fit as a fiddle. Why am I the last to know about this ?

Donna: You were so, pardon the pun, wrapped up in being Sub Santa again that you failed to notice Marion's state.

Dan: (trying not to get too emotional) Do the doctors know anything ?

Donna: It's pancreatic. It doesn't look promising, but they've got him on pain killers. At least it won't be too agonizing.

Dan: (finally loses his cool) Damn it. Damn it all to fucking hell ! (bangs on the wall) I should've been more attentive... (starts crying uncontrollably)

Donna: None of us planned on this happening. It just did. The least we can do is actually go and see him.

Dan: That's why you're my gal. You're the smartest person in the room !

(They head to the hospital, and the whole family is there. Dan has a gift for him, it's a box of chocolates, all caramels, his favorite.)

Marion: Thanks, bro. You remembered.

Dan: I would've been here earlier.

Marion: I would've understood that. Being Sub Santa is important too. You've got so many people counting on you.

Dan: Screw that. I have to worry about your well being right now.

Marion: (lackadaisically) So it's cancer ! So what ! What's the worst that can happen ?

Avi: That's the spirit, son. (He does his best to hold it together. It's a brave front, but they all know Marion doesn't look so good and his prognosis is even worse.)

Dan: (narrating) In my excitement for prepping for the holidays, I neglected my emails. Marion, my only brother, only had days left before he died. He waited until the holidays were through to leave us, but the blow left us considerably hollow.

Scene 3—Time Heals All Wounds

Tess: I'm so pleased we could be with you in your time of need. We wouldn't want it any other way, but I wish the circumstances would've been better.

Dan: (weeping) Why did he have to have that freaking recessive gene. Why ? God, why couldn't you have taken me ! He had a full life ahead of him ?! He was my best friend !

Frank: (holding him from the side) I know, we miss him too. He would've wanted us to remember him for his zaniness and spontaneity.

Hadessa: I made fudge in his honor. It's got caramel on the inside. Even during the worst of it, he was tough but incredibly sweet no matter what. He had that durable Levi fighting spirit.

Avi: Darned right. We've started a fund to help other pancreatic cancer patients to find a cure. He might be the catalyst they need.

Naomi: So glad he decided to give his organs to science. My brave little boy. (she gets a little overklempt) I'm sorry.

Avi: Don't be, Naomi love. Time will heal our wounds. For now though, we just need to mourn.

Donna: This is a lovely little gathering. I'm certain Marion would've approved.

(The menorahs suddenly are snuffed out)

Hadessa: Looks like he's still here too. That little trickster. Good one, Mari.

(They laugh)

Dan: (narrating) Normal people would've flipped the ever loving flub out and fled. We weren't that type. We were already tetched in the head as it was. It was just Marion telling us, 'Hey, dopes, I'm ok ! Don't mourn too long, I'm having a freakin' party up here, woot woot ! What what !'. Needless to say, it was the best and funniest Shiva I had ever sat. However, after losing my brother, Sub Santa just stopped showing up altogether. I just wasn't feelin' the holiday spirit. Who could blame me ?

(Scene shift)

Scene 4—8 Christmases Later

Avi: (Noticing that Dan seems to be avoiding the holiday deliberately) Hey, Dan. Aren't you going to be spreading holiday cheer this year ?

Dan: Abba, I gave that up a long time ago. It was getting all immersed in the holidays that separated me from all of you. I'm a married man, pop. I've got a baby on the way this January.

Naomi: Have you thought of a name yet ?

Donna: We were thinking Rachel after our favorite Torah heroine.

Hadessa: It's a perfect name really. We can't wait to spoil the little cookie.

(Meanwhile in Santa's workshop)

St. Nicolas: Tinsel, Jingle, Jangle, Icicle, Ivy, Frostbite, Holly, Snowflake. Do any of you know why Daniel Levi isn't passing out presents like he usually does ? Sadly, I've lost track. I've been busier than ever this year.

Tinsel: The other elves and I noticed that his brother died 8 years ago. He felt guilt about that and has distanced himself from holidays altogether.

Claire: Anyone want milk and cookies ? Thought we could all use a little respite.

Nicolas: Thank you, Claire. Where's Buddy ?

Claire: Tying up final details before your departure. It's not even Christmas, though.

Jingle: I think I know where he's going, Claire.

Frostbite: If we know Nick, and we do. He's going to make a special visit to Daniel.

Claire: I can see why, he's such a good, pleasant young man.

Snowflake: Maybe he can convince him to don the robe of Sub Santa again ?

Icicle: (points to the belief meter) I certainly hope so. Nick's sleigh runs off belief and our score is so dangerously low this year, I don't know if it can run on preliminary power.

Jangle: I've gotten the sleigh prepped enough, and it has more than plenty reserve fuel. He can circle the globe 50 times if need be.

Ivy: Isn't that a bit extreme, Jangle ?

Jangle: No. It's Christmas. We elves do it right.

Other elves: Yeah ! Preach it Jangle !

Nick: I'll be back. Christmas is only a few days away. Don't worry about me, ok ?

Claire: If I didn't worry about you it wouldn't make me a good wife and mother. (kisses his cheek) Be careful, Nick.

Nick: (turns Claire around and dips her into a passionate kiss) You know I will be, my Christmas star. (he puts his finger aside his nose and disappears)

Claire: I still need to ask him how on earth he does that !

Holly: Alright, cookie and milk break is over. Let's whistle while we work !

(They whistle 'Jolly Old St. Nicolas' as they fashion toys, clothes, video games and other delights for children and adults alike this year.)

Scene 5—A Heartfelt Chat with Jolly Ol' St. Nick

(Nick appears magically in Dan's den. Dan hears someone and instinctively grabs his bat.)

Dan: I have a Louisville slugger. I'm not afraid to use it. State your business or I start swinging.

Nick: (puts his finger aside his nose and the lights turn on) There, that's better. Sorry for the intrusion but I felt no better way to speak to you than this.

Dan: I'll forgive the unlawful possible B&E because you are the Jolly Elf himself. Wow...how did you...When did you...

Nick: Now, now. So many questions for ol' Santa to consider. Sit next to me, we'll chat.

Dan: (sitting next to him on the couch) I'm sitting next to Father Christmas. This is AWESOME ! (drops bat next to him) Sorry for the bat, Santa.

Nick: Nick'll be fine. I know all about you, Dan. I lost track of you some years ago after Marion died though.

Dan: Wait, you know of us too ?

Nick: I really do know about the whole world. Sub Santa though, really helped the industry. You kept the spirit of the season alive.

Dan: I'm sorry. After Marion died, I felt a part of me also perished. It was wrong, selfish of me even. I foolishly thought Christmas was stealing Marion from me. It was my own fault.

Nick: (pats his shoulder) No, it never was. You know, the original Moshe had an issue like this as well. You Levi's are always so dedicated, loyal and resilient. It's why you were chosen for the job. Joy becomes you and it's contagious !

Dan: I ruined that. 8 years, I've disappointed everyone. (heavy sigh, tries not to cry, but is overcome) How am I going to make that up ? Christmas and Hanukkah aren't that far away.

Nick: That's what I've come to tell you. There's still time. (he gestures his head to indicate the festive robe hanging on a hook, a bit musty and dusty looking)

Dan: It's seen better days. I haven't had time to get it dry cleaned.

Nick: Oh, that's easy peasy, hella breezy. (snaps finger)

(It transforms into something spectacular, think Ghost of Christmas Present in A Christmas Carol)

Dan: This is really...something.

Nick: Will you reconsider ? You, your grandfather, your many times great grandfather, all of them. They were phenomenal. They really encapsulated what the spirit of Christmas and the holidays are all about. It transcends tradition or creed. You deserve the mantle more than any man I've ever met.

Dan: (touched) That's lofty praise, especially coming from the embodiment of Christmas itself. Thank you. (stands up, boldly) Alright. I will become Sub Santa again. Marion would've wanted it this way.

Nick: Yes, he would have. I knew Marion, too. Cheeky little guy, full of life, even until the end. You Levis give me faith in humanity.

Dan: Appreciated. I'm sure you have other work to accomplish. I don't want to keep you. Would you like a latke though ?

Nick: Oh, heavens yes. Those are so sinfully good. It's a pity you only have them during Hanukkah.

(Dan serves Nick a latke with some soft red wine.)

Nick: Oh that is tremendous. Thank you for your hospitality.

Dan: Anytime, Nick. (still fanboying about Santa) So cool !

Nick: Take care, Dan. Say hi to the wife for me.

Dan: Sure will. (narrating) It was a flippin' Christmas miracle if I ever saw one. I had always believed in the Big Man himself but there he had been, snarfing down a latke and sipping a nip of wine. It was kick ass ! I couldn't dwell on the overwhelming joy I felt. Leaving my wife a note, I donned my newly refurbished robe and donned my wig, complete with payes. Off into the night I go once again !

(A new version of 'Here Comes Santa Claus' palys while Dan makes everyone happy. He appears at a young Jewish kid's home.)

Mavin: (raised eyebrow) Santa ? (takes off glasses) Am I seeing things ?

Dan: You most certainly aren't. I brought you something.

Mavin: I didn't ask though. 'Sides I know that mom and dad are the ones that give me gifts every year.

Dan: You forgot about me though.

Mavin: (pulls beard, and it doesn't come off)

Dan: Hey ! That stings.

Mavin: Good gravy, you are real.

Dan: Yeah, maybe you should listen to what your parents say more often, too.

Mavin: (stutters) Sure ! (impressed) So, what did you get me ?

Dan: (hands her a big box) Go ahead, open it.

Mavin: (rips it open) An Xbox One ! You ROCK ! (hugs him) And all my favorite games. How did you know ?

Dan: (touches the side of his nose) Santa has his secrets.

Mavin: Where are you going ?

Dan: I've got other houses to hit up.

Mavin: Have a cookie. Mom made these especially.

Dan: Oh, sweeeeet ! They're Stars of David, how clever. (bites into it) Oh, HEAVEN. This is everything and more. Thank you, Mavin.

Mavin: Wait. (watching him leave) How did you know my name ?

Dan: (Shrugging as he putters away on a Vespa bedecked with LED Christmas lights and lit up Stars of David, to himself) How did I know her name ? Years before I never knew anyone's name...unless, Santa gave me the ability to...NICE one, Nick !

(comes home after a long run, Donna is waiting for him.)

Donna: There's the guy I fell in love with ! (She rushes toward him and kisses him) Where have you been ?

Dan: (kisses her back, just as passionately) Seems I was in there all along. I just needed a little reminder.

Donna: (stroking his hair as soon as he takes off the hat, wig and beard) It's good to have you back, Dan.

Dan: (narrating) Oh, yeah. I was back at full force. I could almost hear Marion bellowing, 'Where were you ?' from wherever he was in Heaven. I continued to spread cheer until the holidays had come to a close. It was hard work, but well worth the return for both parties involved. Even after the glow of the holidays, I had something even better to look forward to, and that was Rachel's birth. She was born completely healthy, 10 fingers and 10 toes, rosy cheeked, hale and hearty. She had quite the set of pipes on her. Something told me that she might be the first female Sub Santa. The Christmas spirit doesn't discriminate. It simply chooses the best vessel to represent it. She had that glow about her and a giggle that no one could deny. Even the grumpiest of souls, when they saw Rachel's round little face, couldn't help but chuckle. Indeed, the Levi spirit was strong within her, and she wouldn't be alone in the world for long. After about 9 more holidays, Marion was born, and the two became inseparable. My life was more complete than it had ever been. As the days became months, they only improved. I realized that the present, indeed, as cliched as it sounds, was the most precious gift anyone could ever desire. Sharing that, even its most simplistic form of kindness, was what brightened up every moment and was a gentle reminder that even after all the glitter is gone, the light of the holidays still live on in our hearts and actions.

(We hear a new remix of 'The Cup Song' while we see Dan, Donna and their little children playing many years from their entry into the world, savoring Chinese New Year and enjoying the snow. Although it is cold outside, there is such an impressive warmth of this family tableau. To TTR who inspired this script, I owe it to you and your love. You've gotten me through the hardest time of my life. God bless you and your incredible golden heart. I love you.)