Southern Belle

Synopsis:  Laura Bernard discovers through her Aunt Augusta and Uncle Cornelius that she has Southern roots.

~*~CAST~*~
Laura Bernard:
Oliver Bernard: (her father)
Natalie Bernard: (her mom)
Inez Garcia: (her best friend)
Geraldo Garcia: (her dad)
Juanita Garcia: (her mom)
Guadalupe 'Lupe' Garcia: (her sister)
Aunt Augusta Bernard:
Uncle Cornelius Bernard: 
Buford Bernard: (cousin, country star) 
Alma Bernard: (his wife)
Bess Bernard: (their young daughter)  
James McDermot: (object of Laura's affection) 
Kermit McDermot: (his dad)
Charline McDermot: (his mom) 

Scene 1--Caught in A Daydream

Laura:  (relaxing in her hammock, clutching a romantic novel to her chest)  Lysander...

Inez:  (shaking her gently)  Laur.  Hey !  Laura !  Wake up !

Laura:  (jerks awake) Alright, I'm up.

Inez:  Dreaming of Lysander again ?
You know he doesn't exist.

Laura:  (sadly puts down her book)  I know, and never will so I need to stop pining over a fictional ideal.

Inez: Let me borrow it once you're finished, ok ?

Laura:  You're as bad as I am, Inez !
(mock punches her in the arm, her cell phone rings, playing 'Here Comes a Thought', answers)  Hello, Laura Bernard speaking.  Who may I ask is calling ?

Augusta:  Why, it's your Aunt Augusta, sugar !   Guess what I discovered ?

Laura:  What ?

Augusta:  Turns out, you have more southerner in you than you thought.  We have a relative that was involved in the Civil War.  He sewed wild oats before he bit the bullet, literally. 

Laura:  Uncle Hubert ? 

Augusta:  The very same.  Quite a liscentious one, Hubert.  Died with a smile on his face.

Laura: (winces and twitches slightly)  I won't even ask how. 

Augusta:  I was wondering if you could take off a few weeks this summer and come and visit us in Georgia.  We have so many family members that want to meet you.

Laura: (looks at her calendar on the wall)  Yep !  Definitely. 

Augusta:  Oh, splendid !   I'll get everything ready.  You go ahead, pack your bags and get everything settled.

Laura: (narrating)  Notably, I was eager, excited, and maybe a bit trepedacious.   I had never been outside of the state before, but mom and dad had always been encouraging me to 'set out on my own outside my little bubble'.  I had been plenty comfortable where I was, but being the inquisitive sort, I realized 'a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step'.   I was more than ready to take that first single step.  

(Scene shift, we see Laura using her GPS to get to Georgia, singing 'Queen of the Night' and 'Daydream'.) 

Scene 2--Welcome to Your Roots

(An instrumental version of 'Sweet Home Alabama' plays in the background as her extended family welcomes her.) 
Cornelius:   Welcome, Laura !  Where are Natalie and Oliver ? 

Laura:  They're on vacation in New Mexico.  My friend, Inez, is taking care of my home while I'm away.  

Augusta:  Inez sounds like a peach. 

Laura:  She is.  We're like sisters. 

Cornelius:  Come on, you've got to meet the rest of the family !

Buford:  Hey, cous !  (hugs her)

Laura:  Hey, woah, we've got a hugger here !

Buford:  Yep and well known for that.

Alma:  This is my husband, Buford.  He's a country star.  Have you heard of 'Big Ol' Frieght Train Wrecked My Heart ?'

Laura:  No, I can't say that I have.  I don't really listen too much to country western music.  

Bess:  Sacriledge !

Buford:  I'll sing it for you.

Laura: No, that's really not nesse...

Buford: (Sings) 

Alma:  Ain't it something ?

Laura:  (bemused, not wanting to hurt Buford's feelings)  Yeah, sure is.  

Bess:  We're having dinner and after, we're playing cornhole. 

Laura: (tries to control sophomoric, bawdy, gutter humor running through her libido-belagured mind) 

Bess:  What's so funny, Cousin Laura ?

Laura:  Well, back where I come from, cornhole is something quite different, and I would ask about that when you're older.

Bess:  Mama ! 

Alma:  (turns beet red)  Bess, I think that's Aunt Augusta callin'.  Come on, hun.  Let's go !  Before it gets cold. 

Bess:  (confused)  But I didn't hear nothing...

Cornelius:  Behold the Bernard family feast ! 

Alma:  Aunt Augusta, this is enough for 12 people !  

Cornelius:  Well you know what they say, leftovers are always the best part of a feast shared with family and friends. 

Bess:  I think we should have Laura lead our prayer.  

Laura:  Thank you, Bess.  That's mighty kind of you.   (Everyone holds hands)  Gracious heavenly father, we thank you for this food.  Bless it to our use and us to Thy service.  Dear Abba, I'm greatful that you've gotten me here in one piece and that I've met family I didn't even know I had ! It's definitely a double blessing today.  Good to know crazy runs in our family, so, at least I can blame it on our genetics.  

(There's a brief outbreak of sniggers and giggles) 

Laura:  Most of all I am so thankful for this beautiful part of the country and letting me see it. Had I not had the little push from my family and friends I might not be here today.  I plan on doing more things 'outside of my comfort zone'.  Amen. 

Cornelius:  Dig in, y'all ! 

('That's My Kind of Night' plays in the background while everyone eats and then heads out back to play cornhole.  Oddly enough, Laura does very well with it.   A next door neighbor is intriegued and comes by to see what all the hubub is about.)

James:  What are y'all up to ?  Something special goin' on ?

Augusta:  Well, sear my hide and call me branded, if it isn't James !   How do ? 

James:  Well, Mrs. Bernard.   As to the second part of my inquiry, I think I answered it all on my own.  (flirtatiously)  Who might you be, ma'am ?

Laura: (turning a bit red, swallowing hard) I'm Laura.   Just met my extended family today.

James:  That certainly is something to whoop and holler about.  I'm James, or Jim as I'm called around these parts.   I hope you'll be stayin' around. 

Laura:  I know I will be.  Beauford told me that he'll be having a concert at the Opry tomorrow and I want to see him perform.  

James:  Hot dog !  I've got tickets.  Do you care if you have a burr sticking to you ?

Laura:  Not really.  I'd welcome it. 
(narrating)  The unintentional had become reality.   As cliche as it sounds, I fell for this cute Southern boy head over heels.   He was smart, funny, witty, handsome and his smile could light up any room.   Just being near him made time stop or slow to a halt.  What I tended to forget is I wouldn't be able to spend much time with him and our blissful discovery would become a fateful departure.  Then again, I came to realize that fate has its uncanny ways of working everything out. 

('Small Town Throwndown' plays in the background while Beuford and the gang play to a sold out house.)

James: (leans over)  Usually this isn't my sort of scene, but I couldn't pull myself away from you. 
(he places his hand gently atop hers, and Laura grasps his hand, affectionately, looking into his eyes, and they share their first melting, sensual kiss) 

Laura: (narrating) Though it was our first departure, I knew that Jim wasn't going to be far from me.  With intent, drive and fervor, he moved from the south just to gain employmenet closer to me.   We dated consistently whenever we had days off and a little bit of our redneck sides would come out every time we played cornhole together. And no, it's not what you're thinking, you dirty minded pervs.  

(We see the two playing cornhole together as a montage of their lives from the south back to Laura's living arrangement takes place.  Rebel Yell plays in the background and we see James giving Laura a high five.) 

Scene 4--Unwritten

James:  (kissing her)  You always manage to whoop me in that, foozeball, skiball and air hockey.  I've never seen you beaten ! 

Laura:   Only when you tackle me in flag football.  

James:  I can't help it if I played quarterback in high school.  It's muscle memory, m'darling. 

Laura:  It's such a perfect day, and to think I get to spend it with you.  Makes it that much better. 

James:  I have never gotten tired of the view.   Come on, I want to take you to the park.  

Laura:  Whatever for ?  It's only a few blocks away.

James:  You won't regret it.  (they run to the park and he asks her to sit down on the park bench)

Laura:  Alright, Mr. Mysterious.  What is this all about ? 

James:  We've known each other for over a year now.  Luckily my job in Corporate has afforded me something special... So, allow me to indulge the both of us.  Would you be my southern belle ?

Laura:  (looking at the diamond he bought her)  My heavens, it's bigger than the Enterprise.  How did you afford it ? 

James:  Corporate has its perks.  Plus I know some people in the biz, particularly dad.  He is saavy with pricing and got me the best deal. 

Laura:  Well isn't Kermit a peach. 
Of course I'll be your belle, you ding dong ! 

James:  That's the most romantic thing anyone's ever said to me.
(He picks her up, twirls her around and she stands up on tiptoe to kiss him after he's slipped the ring upon her finger) 

Laura:  (narrating)  Just like the moment I met James, my entire world was flipped upside down.   From that point on, we were inseperable.  We were married, made our way to Kauai for our honeymoon, came back home and soon welcomed little JJ into our world.   He's so inquisitive !  Only recently, we returned to our extended family and held another fantastic reunion, bolstering us into whatever lay ahead on our journey.   What's that one song ?  Unwritten ?   That's become our theme song.   We write our *own* story and blaze our own trails. All has its way of coming together and making sense.   Each day is a learning experience, one we lavish in  and drink to the full.   Neither of us could want for anything else.

(Another montage flickers of James and Laura's life together up to this point with JJ grown up quite a bit playing with his cousins and having a ball.   'Learning to Walk Again' instrumental version plays as the family basks in the unconditional love of their realatives.  Credits roll, 'The Best is Yet to Come' plays follwed by 'Unwritten' and 'Love Never Felt So Good'.  Bloopers and behind the scenes are shown as well as my accomodations for those who supported me in this particular endeavor.  Without you Belle would have never rung, ha ha ha.)