Polyamorous

Synopsis:  A story about a nudist, polyamorous family living in a strict, prim community.   The community begins to change their views when the family saves the life of a young girl who doesn’t know how to swim.   They later give her lessons.

~*~CAST*~*

Richard ‘Dick’ Steel: 

June Steel: (wife #1)

Chloe Steel:  (wife #2)

Blossom Steel: (wife #3) 
Leona Steel: (wife #4)

Marianne Steel: (wife #5) 

Hanna Steel: (wife #6) 

Dee Steel: (wife #7) 

Fabian Fabrizzio: (husband #1) 

Elliot Steel: (son #1)

Richard Jr: (son #2)

Victor Steel: (son #3)

Rachel Steel: (daughter #1)

Posey Steel: (daughter #2) 

Alexis Steel: (daughter #3)

Nancy Parker: (neighbor)

Robert Parker: (her hubby)

Jody Parker: (their daughter) 

Fargo Smith: (neighbor)

Delphi Smith: (his wife)

David Smith: (their son) 

Pam Smith: (their daughter) 

Jasper Lee:  (neighbor) 

Tiffany Lee: (Jasper’s wife) 

Mina Lee: (their daughter)

Malta Lee: (her younger twin sister)

Jade Lee: (‘baby’ sister)

Klein Vitaly:  (Patty’s dad) 

Patricia Vitaly:  (Elliot’s love interest) 

Scene 1—The Inner Life of Nudists

Elliot: (narrating)  I know, I know.  Before judging us as a bunch of hedonistic libertines, hear me out.  Only in the comfort of our own home do I, my brothers, sisters and mothers roam around completely starkers.   None of us thinks this as unusual, but we do joke with papa about his name.   It is rather comical his name is Richard.   After all, our surname is Steel, so you can imagine how many people try to keep themselves from busting a gut laughing when pops introduces himself.   It makes for an interesting existence, especially in such a prim, proper and buttoned up small town.   We don’t let them curb our enthusiasm for our lifestyle.   As far as we’re concerned, the more the merrier, and variety is most definitely the spice of life.    You might wonder how my pop manages to keep all us kids, his wife and papa #2, Fabian, in check.   One word.  Stamina.  I swear my pop never runs out of energy.   I honestly don’t know how he does it, but we’ve all managed to become a rather well-rounded unit.   The community, though, they do their best to avoid us, that is, unless they need to borrow something or other from us.    Something however, I could sense, was about to shift that would transform the community’s thoughts about us.   

Fargo:  (sighing)  Those batty Steels and their loud bacchanals.   I really wish they’d keep it down for once.  

(‘Heathens’ is playing in the background and Delphi go and politely ring their doorbell while David and Pam rub their tired eyes and yawn.)

David:  What’s going on ? 

Delphi:  David, Pam, you two stay here and go back to bed.   We can’t have either one of you exposed to the Steel’s rather unusual living arrangement. 

Pam:  What do you mean by that, mom ?

Delphi:  (lying)  Oh, nothing, Pam my sweet.   Now, off to bed, quick, quick !  Both of you. 

David:  Aw, man.  It was just getting interesting. 

Pam:  (yawning)  We always get sent to bed when the fun stuff is happening. 

David:  Come on, Pammy, bed awaits. 

Pam:  (pout)  Fine.  

(They slowly stumble back to bed and Delphi goes over to knock on the door. ‘Prop My Sky’ by Pogo plays and the party keeps going strong.  Richard answers the door, completely nude but of course the most important bits are blocked very strategically and suitably by Delphi’s hand.) 

Delphi: (covers her eyes)  Rich, please.  Have some decency ! 

Rich:  Del, you know we’re nudists at home !   You’ve known that since we moved in, or have you developed amnesia overnight ?

Delphi: (still has her eyes covered)  Very funny, Rich.  (peeks and is a little ashamed)

Rich:  No harm in peeking.  I know you like what you see.  You should see Fabian, oh my heaven.  Holy cannoli.  I mean literally !  

Delphi:  (a bit sharply)  Enough !   (clears throat) There are people trying to sleep, Mr. Steel.   Be considerate. 

Rich:  (owns up to his mistake)  We were having a big birthday bash.  I suppose we forgot what time it was.   (turns down CD player, which starts playing ‘Do Something Rhythmic’)  I’m so sorry, Mrs. Smith.  

Delphi:  (peeks again, despite herself)  No harm, no foul.  

Rich:  You know you and Fargo or anyone else for that matter are welcome to come whenever you want.  (winks)  Clothes optional. 

Delphi:  (blanches)  You rogue !  Letch !  (pivots away, huffily, hurrying back to her home and shaking her head in disapproval) 

Junior:  What was her problem ? 

Rich:  Some people just don’t understand our lifestyle, Junior. 

Victor:  We’re perfectly normal.  It’s Mrs. Smith that’s weird !  

Fabian:  Victor, you shouldn’t judge her.   We’re still new in this neighborhood.  ‘Judge lest not’…remember ?

Victor:  You’re right, dad.  

Rachel:  We’ve still got cake and ice cream to devour.   Moms, dads, thanks for the best birthday ever.  

Dee:  It’s what we do best, Rachel, dear.  

(‘Why Don’t You’ plays in the background as the family enjoys the rest of the evening until they tire in the wee hours.)  

Elliot:  (narrating)  It’s true, we Steels party hardy ‘til the break of dawn.  Neighbors don’t really care for it, but it’s not like we have halogen lights on our property.  Those are all tiki lights and we follow Smokey’s rules.  I mean, what else can we do to try and fit in with you stuffed, stiff shirts ?   Come on, we’re trying for Pete’s sake ! 

(Scene shift) 

Scene 2—At the Local Pool

Marianne:  Come on, guys, we’re heading down to the park for a picnic. 

Hanna:  We all chipped in and made our best dishes.  I whipped up this smokin’ pizza casserole.

Blossom:  Marianne baked her famous ooey gooey brownies and I made ‘to die for’ chocolate chip cookies. 

Rich:  I can tell you one other thing that becomes ooey gooey whenever it comes to all you beauties and your mastery of the stove.  (wriggles eyebrows)

Leona:  Rich, the kids, they’re watching ! 

Rich:  They know we’re a loving family.  This is perfectly normal.

Posey:  (grins)  Awww, so sweet.  You are all so cute !  

Fabian:  See, like Rich said, Leona.  We’re all fine.  Just extremely tactile and affectionate.  

(They all get changed and the parents lather up the entire family with sunscreen.  Then they begin heading to the pool to the song used to advertise the Lego movie.) 

Jody:  (disgusted)  Ugh, it’s those freaks. 

Pam:  Yeah, mom and dad say they’re succubae and incubi.  Whatever that means. 

Jody:  Believe me, that isn’t a good thing. We’re better off just keeping close to each other, Jody. 

Mina:  I’m with you.   Malta, come on, don’t stare !  It’s rude.

Jade:  I dunno, Mina.  I think they’re actually kinda cool. 

Malta:  Those freaks, Jade ?   They’re just maniacs.   Come on.  

(Everyone starts to have fun in the pool.  The Steel family savors a meal together until Mina and Malta start screaming at the top of their lungs because Jade never learned how to swim !)

Jade:  Help !   Mina, Malta, don’t just stand there, help me !

Malta:  There are too many other people crowding you…

Mina:  I can’t see where you are !

Jade:  I’m going to drown ! 

Rich:  (bursts through the crowd and fishes Jade out of the pool)  How did you manage to even get into the pool in the first place ?  Weren’t your sisters watching you ? 

Mina:  (chagrinned)  I thought you were watching her, Malta !

Malta:  I didn’t see that she had wandered off.   Oh, Jade, we’re so sorry…

(They hug her close, a little too tightly) 

Rich:  Just so long as everyone’s ok.   Hey, you know what ?  We have a pool.  I can teach you how to swim if you like. 

Jade:  You’d do that for me ?  

Rich:  My family and I can’t be counted on to save your life every time now, can we ?  (capriciously flips the end of her nose) 

Jade:  That’s just mean !  (laughing)  You know, you’re really not a creep like all the other parents and kids say you are.   You got to me in spite of the crowds of people, and came through them so easily.  

Mina:  You’re really strong, Mr. Steel.

Rich:  There is truth to my surname !   (chuckles)

Malta:  We see that.   (They all hug him)  Thank you. 

Mina:  We owe you.   (starts to walk away)  About the swim lessons, is that an ongoing offer or is it for a limited time ?

Rich:  Oh, we’ve been teaching neighborhood kids since we arrived around these parts, but only a couple stragglers came.   It’d be tremendous if you could come too.   We even teach CPR.  

Jade:  You’re certified ?

Rich:  We all are.   (pats her shoulder)   You and your family is welcome.  Even if you’re expert swimmers, you can always learn something new.  

Elliot:   (narrating)  As usual in a small town word got out rapidly about what bravery my pops executed.   Those who had seemingly hated us from the beginning had started to come around and participate in our classes.   It was just another method of my dad giving back to the community.  He and my mothers, as well as my second dad also participated in the local soup kitchen and donating clothes and books to the indigent.   Even though we weren’t originally from the town initially, we all did what was right.   Ever so slowly, people started to warm up to us.   Then Christmas came around and we got a new neighbor and I found myself smitten ! 

(Scene fade)

Scene 3—Under the Mistletoe

Alexis:  We just got some new neighbors !   Isn’t that just the spiffiest ? 

Victor:  I hope it’s another boy.  I need someone to thwomp at Fallout ! 

Junior: Phffft, unlike you, I’d like this boy to be able to play some hoops.  DJ needs a CHALLENGE.  

Rachel:  It’d be pleasant to have another girl around these parts.   I’m feeling a little outnumbered.  

Patricia: (coming out of the moving van, an instrumental of Santa Baby plays in the background)  

Elliot:  She’s beautiful… Alright, everyone.  Best behavior, best foot forward !

Victor:  You’re not our pops or our moms ! 

Elliot:  So ?  They’re out working, so I should be in charge. 

Junior:  Technically it should be the eldest who gets to be the alpha male. 

Elliot:  (blustering)  Whatever, Dick Junior ! 

(They all laugh and Junior rolls his eyes, shaking his head)

Alexis:  Where are you going ? 

Elliot:  To make an impact !   (inhales deeply and exhales through pursed lips, walks confidently up to Patricia)  Hey there.  I see you’re new to the neighborhood.  I’m Elliot !  Those guys are Victor, Rachel, Junior, and Alexis.  What’s your name, beautiful ?

Patricia:  (can’t help but laugh)  I’m Patricia.  People call me Patty for short.  I’m originally from California but dad got a new job in these parts.  It’s not what I’m used to but as far as I can tell it’s not so bad as I thought it was going to be. 

Elliot:  Are you planning on doing anything for Christmas ?  I know of an ice rink we can hang out together at.

Patricia:  I just move in and you’re already asking me out on a date ?   Bold !  (a bit of a smirk)  I like it ! 

Alexis:  Don’t think of leaving us out, Elliot.  

Elliot:   You know I wouldn’t.  

(Scene shift, ‘Christmas Day’ appears on the screen and everyone’s enjoying themselves.   The typical cool jazz from the Peanuts special plays in the background as everyone shows off on the ice, particularly Fabian.) 

Blossom:  Phsshtt.  Showboater. 

Fabian:  And that’s why you gals just love me to death.  

Hanna:  He does pose a valid argument there. 

Klein:  (trying to get his footing but fails, monumentally)  Ah, crud !    Man, these other guys make ice skating look like child’s play.  

Patty:  Don’t give up, Papa.   (tries helping him up but they both fall)

Elliot: (Helping Patty up)

Rich: (helps Klein up)  Here you go.  I think you’re getting the hang of it Klein, don’t worry.  It takes time.  

Patty:  (taken up into Elliot’s arms)  We have to stop meeting like this.

Elliot: (has found a sprig of mistletoe)  Oh, look.  How convienient.  

Patty: (blushes and kisses him, on the cheek, but then he kisses her tenderly on the lips) 

Klein:  Ok, party’s over.   There will be no more kissing tonight. 

Patty:  Oh come on, daddy.  He doesn’t mean me any harm.   Elliot’s got a good heart.  

Klein:  I’m certain he does but it is getting a bit late.  

Elliot:  (narrating)  Sure, things might’ve been a bit rough going at first, but initially later on, Klein warmed up to me.  Another year has started and matters are normal, well, relatively speaking anyway.   There are still those who don’t really accept us and our lifestyle, but Patty doesn’t seem to mind.  She has a wonderfully open heart.   Someday, who knows, maybe we will start our own family.  It won’t probably be a harem like dad’s, but at least people are beginning to understand us more.   Besides, we’re doing our good deeds daily and making certain this year will be better than the last.   Only recently, we went ice fishing and one of our neighbors nearly drowned, but our sisters fished him out of the water.   It made big headlines.  The media wasn’t presenting us as some sort of aberration any longer.   They saw us as human beings, like everyone else.   It had taken a long time to come to that conclusion on their own, but at least now they knew the truth.   Still there were some that didn’t understand us, but we didn’t mind.   We simply kept dancing to the beat of our own drummer, knowing that united we were more powerful and we had love on our side always.  

(We see a bit of a transition in time from Christmas to New Year’s and Patty and his father are enjoying New Year’s Eve with their new neighbors.  They’re more comfortable as neighbors now. The whole lot of them are enjoying themselves as they dance to ‘Get Down on It’ and ‘Groove Tonight’ amongst other 70’s dance floor disco favorites.  It’s a lady or the tiger end, and the viewer is brought to conclude it as they see fit.   The End is sprawled across the screen in curly, cursive font.)