Joe of Antiquities: Joe and the Lazarus Pool

(aka Indian Joe) 

Synopsis:  Again the Sharma family is on another trip of a life time when they start following clues down in Florida that lead them to a literal Lazarus pool. 

~*~CAST~*~

Dr. Joe Sharma: 

Seema Sharma: (his mom)

Apu Sharma:  (his dad) 

Sweetu Sharma: (grandma)

Shah Sharma:  (grandfather)

Leon Emilio Chavez: (the keeper of the pool)

Maria Luisa Gabriella Chavez: (his wife) 

Dr. Stephanie Sharma:  (Joe’s wife)

Katharine ‘Kate’ Sharma: (their daughter)

Billie Browne: (Kate’s best friend)

Gina Browne: (Billie’s younger sister)

Francine Browne: (Billie’s mom)

Eddie Browne: (Billie’s dad) 

Patrick Powers: (Paul’s dad) 

Tiffany Powers: (Paul’s mom)

Vera Powers: (Paul’s grandma) 

Paul Powers:  (Kate’s boyfriend/powerlifter)

Dimitri: (Paul’s Husky)   

POTUS: 

Scene 1—A Good Night’s Sleep Interrupted

Kate:  (narrating)  It was a satisfying end to another day at Dharma.   I had gotten snug in bed and was dreaming about our last vacation to Aruba and what a blast it had been surfing with Paul, my friend and my beau.   Suddenly, the phone began to ring and I nearly fell flat on my face out of bed.  

(Split screen, on the phone, it’s the POTUS.) 

POTUS:  Is this the Sharma residence ?

Kate:  Yes, (yawns deeply, still semi-conscious)  Who may I ask is speaking ?

POTUS:  It’s the president of the United States.   We in the White House thought it pertinent to contact you on a rather enigmatic matter.  

(Kate, covering the phone and calling her dad out of bed, and he emerges, bed head and all) 

Joe:  What is it, Kate ? You’re too old to have me telling you a bedtime story at this hour…

Kate:  (Whispering) No, it’s the President.  He has something important to tell you. 

Joe:  (straightening his hair for some strange reason, picks up the phone)  Yes ?

POTUS:  Joseph Sharma, this is the President.  I have a very important mission for you, that is, should you accept it.  

Joe:  (snapping to attention)  Anything, Sir.  Just name it.  I’m your man. 

POTUS:  I thought you would be.  I had a good feeling !  (chortles)  My team and I have found evidence of a so called ‘Lazarus Pool’ somewhere in the Yucatan.   Of course, there are so many other legends stating it was elsewhere, but my sources confirm it is actually further south.  

(Joe can barely contain how thrilled and delighted he is by this unbelievable news.  In fact, it’s like he’s dancing to ‘Indiawale’ from HNY in his mind and Kate snickers at him.) 

Kate:  Papa, you big goofball.  Why all the precision dance moves ?

Joe:  The President wants us to head to the Yucatan to see if the fountain of youth actually exists.  

Kate:  That story is bound in antiquity, and it’s only legend. 

Joe:  (becomes even more avid)  Not according to the information the President says he and his associates uncovered. 

POTUS:  I await a reply, Joseph.  

Joe:  (laughing nervously) Oh, of course, Mr. President.   We’ll be preparing ourselves immediately.  Do we need an itinerary ?

POTUS:  None necessary.   When you arrive I am certain everything will unravel.  

Joe:  Thank you, Mr. President.

POTUS:  No, thank you and thank your family for your inquisitiveness and bravery.  

Joe: (hangs up the phone, collects himself for a moment)  WE’RE GOING TO THE YUCATAN !  

Kate:  (being pulled from her bed and dancing to ‘Ain’t Nobody Gonna Cry Today’)  Woah, you’re rather energetic for 4:00 am !  (narrating)  And since that moment, dad gathered everyone and called the Powers family. 

(Split screen) 

Vera:  (grabbing the phone from her nightstand)  Who is this at this witching hour ?  

Joe:  Vera, it’s Joe !   Get Paul on the phone !  Please, it’s important.  

(Scene shift)

Scene 2—The Wonder of the Yucatan

Kate:  (narrating)  Fast forward to the present moment and find us all smack dab in the Yucatan following a map that Paul, by some fluke, had obtained from his late grandfather’s trips to South America.   I had a feeling that Luke’s spirit was with us on this journey and he would be tickled pink at everything we were seeing.   

Paul:  According to the map, we’ve come very close.   We’re almost on top of the very spot where the Lazarus Pool exists ! 

Steph:   It’s just a waterfall though, Paul.  

Paul:   Just wait ! 

(The waterfall splits, and they’re all flummoxed.) 

Kate:  That’s not supposed to happen.  

Steph:  I think this very place, this sacred ground, goes against every known Natural Law.  

Joe:  Indubitably. 

Leon: (taking the hand of his dazzling wife.   The two of them look no older than their 20s when they have been living for centuries)  Greetings !  I’m Leon Chavez, and this is my wife Maria.   We’ve been expecting you.

Kate:  (raised eyebrow)  The conundrum commences.   What do you mean, ‘we’ ? And how can you live here ? 

Maria:  Quite well inside our little sanctuary.   Come.  We’ll explain everything on the way to the pool.

Kate:  (narrating)  Leon and Maria led us down the craggy corridor.   The lush expanse was splendid.   So much flora and fauna existed here that hadn’t even been chronicled or studied.   We all knew, empirically minded as we were, to respect the indigenous species of the land.  

Leon:  We have been living here for centuries.  Having a connection with everything around us, we knew that you would be coming.

Steph:  How on earth though ? 

Maria:   Interconnectivity.   Only those attuned can understand.  

Kate:  It’s only theory though, Maria.   Science is only beginning to comprehend it. 

Joe:  You mean superstring theory ? 

Leon/Maria:   Precisely !  

Maria:  Come.   We’ll take you to the true treasure of our cove.  

(They are smitten with the clarity of the pool and how long it extends.) 

Leon:   It was said that Ponce DeLeon was searching, but he searched wrongly.  He didn’t follow the right clues, ones that were in front of him the entire time.  

Maria:   It was all a matter of misinterpretation.  

Paul: How did my grandpa come across the correct location then ? 

Leon:  Luke, your grandfather, looked into sources that were seen by the outside world as unreliable.  

Maria:  However, Luke knew that the shaman spoke truth.   He followed his ‘greater intellect’ (places her hand over her third eye and her heart) and our paths crossed. 

Paul:  Were you friends with him ? 

Leon:  (he and Maria chortle gently at remembering him)  Yes, he was like a brother to us.   He was a rarity.  He wasn’t afraid to open his mind to the unexplained and paranormal even though this form of study had not been established.  

Maria:  He didn’t care what other people thought of him either.   Love of learning, exploring and knowledge drove him to sop up every droplet of information he could.  

Leon:  He had to keep his knowledge hidden though.   The only reason it came to you, Paul was because Luke found his twin flame when here on holiday. 

Paul:  I remember that tale.   He met Vera here, they fell in love and she became his permanent souvenir.

Kate:  That’s the most enchanting thing I have ever heard.   Love stories like that are rare.  

Joe:  So, is it true that this pool you’re showing us is the real McCoy ? 

Leon:  Step in it and see.  Just don’t linger too long.  

Kate:  (narrating)  We took a dip in the Lazarus pool and came out, our skin shimmering and our bodies completely rejuvenated.   It defied all reason, logic and any other Laws we could even acknowledge.    Like Paul’s granddad, we were well aware any release of this information would be detrimental in the wrong hands.   Even if the President had had good intentions in sending us on this trip to the Yucatan, we had to unfortunately, lie about our experience here.   This sacred locale would remain secret.   

Joe:  Thank you for trusting us so much to indulge this immaculate secret with us.  

Maria:  Think nothing of it.   You are kindred spirits.   Someday, more people like you will make the pilgrimage here, but until then, our livelihood remains within you. 

Leon:  To think, we just met and now you have to depart. 

(He starts to become teary-eyed, as does Maria.) 

Steph:  Don’t cry.   It’s not goodbye.  

Maria:  No, we’ll never forget you.   For now, we must continue to keep and protect the pool.   Safe travels on your way back home. 

Joe:  Of course, thank you and bless you.   Be well.  

(Scene shift) 

Scene 3—Wisdom from the Cove

Paul:  (sitting by the poolside with Kate, and they linger together after having swum around a while)  It’s a pity we have to leave tomorrow.  This place was a paradise.   Even more so with you nearby. 

Kate:  (blushes)  You’re just saying that. 

Paul:  Kate, how long have I known you ?   Remember, we used to play tetherball on the playground and you always whipped me at it. 

Kate:  (laughing heartily)  Yeah, I did whoop you pretty good !  

(He laughs as well along with her, and takes her hand, gently stroking it between his thumb and forefinger) 

Paul:  I couldn’t have predicted how attached I would’ve become to you.  I can’t think of spending one day without you nearby me.  

Kate:  I can’t either, really.  

(Paul sings to her ‘Matter of the Heart’ as he draws her near and they kiss sweetly to the strains of ‘Unchained Melody’) 

Paul:  (looks at watch)  Ah, crud…I was going to Skype with mom, dad and grandma tonight.  I’m not too late…I have to go.  You, dear, you’d better go to sleep. 

Kate:  Awww, you still care about my beauty rest after all these years !  (playfully slaps him on the back, and then on the backside) 

Paul:  (lightly pats her bum as well as payback)  More where that came from, (John Wayne impersonation) l’il Missy.   I will have plenty of retribution for your insults !  

Kate:  Bring it on, Paul Powers.  Bring it on.  

Paul:  (pats her backside again before leaving)  Don’t say I didn’t warn you ! 

Kate:  (laughing as she leaves, narrating)  Paul Powers, ever the court jester.  It’s only one more factor that endears me to him and I love him all the more.  Adventures are just more fun when he tags along; not only because he is useful and his knowledge is astounding but because I cannot stop smiling when he is with me.   Before we left and returned to our daily duties at Dharma, my pops asked for a little bit of the spring water to be bottled.   Leon and Maria gladly accepted.   I eagerly anticipated to see what would come of my dad’s experiment. 

(The scene shifts from our young lovers departing to their own rooms to everyone disembarking on their flight and returning home.   Sweetu and Shah are helping with the opening of the restaurant for the day.  Songs from Devdas are playing in the background and they’re giggling, still enjoying each other’s company after all these years.) 

Scene 4—Just a Little Fun

(Joe receives a call from the POTUS)

POTUS:  Did you discover anything on your journey ? 

Joe:  Sadly, no.  Just surreal surroundings.   Sorry to disappoint. 

POTUS:  Disappoint ?  No, not at all.   One cannot expect success on every journey.  I was right in my theory.   The Lazarus Pool is only myth.  Case closed.   Thank you for proving me and my expert team correct on our hunch. 

Joe:  Just doin’ business, Mr. President. 

POTUS:  I still owe you, all of you, a medal of honor.   Later on in this month, you will be getting an invitation.   I cannot wait to meet you all in person.  It will be a treat.  

Joe:  We hardly deserve the accolade, Sir. 

POTUS:  You do though.   Be there with bells on, it will be my pleasure to award you all and shake your hands in the flesh ! 

Joe:  (nearly crying for pure joviality)  Yes, Sir !  

Kate:  What was that all about ?  Why are you crying ? 

Joe:  Tears of joy, my little jewel.   That was the President.  He’s rewarding us later this month.  

Steph:  Incredible, all for our work in the Yucatan ? 

Joe:  Yes.  Isn’t that marvelous my turtledove ? (pulls her close and kisses her cheek)  I think we should celebrate with the water I brought back from the Yucatan.    Everyone gather round ! 

(He pours a glass for everyone, and Sweetu and Shah seem to have gotten a second wind from it.  The very rhythmic and energetic dance scene from Devdas starts playing and everyone is celebrating.  The customers come in and are entertained and impressed by Shah and Sweetu’s renewed energy.   The water that they imbibed is the last time they’ll ever receive such renewal but no one minds.) 

Kate:  (narrating)   None of this is out of the ordinary for my family.  We expect the strange and paranormal on an everyday basis.   The venture to the Yucatan particularly took the cake, but we received from it more than we could have ever given.   We rested easy at night knowing the secret of the Pool would remain sacrosanct and the water we had imbibed was the last of its kind except back at the Pool itself.  We later made our debut at the White House.  From there on it was eddies of dizzying activity but we never let it make us conceited.   After we fed bodies and souls for the evening, we all departed and returned to the sanctuary of our beds, dreaming about what would come next.   Like the days before, every second would be one of unbelievable surprises and we couldn’t wait for the next day to arrive.