Joe of Antiquities: Joe and the AU

(aka Indian Joe)

Synopsis:  The final 7^th script of the Indian Joe franchise.   By a total fluke, Paul follows his inquisitive nature to glowing lights in his cellar.  There happens to be AU versions of themselves living totally different lives and even part of a different ethnic group than they are !   

~*~CAST~*~

Dr. Joe Sharma:

Seema Sharma: (his mom)

Apu Sharma:  (his dad)

Sweetu Sharma: (grandma)

Shah Sharma:  (grandfather)

Abigail Powers: (granddaughter)

Joey Powers: (grandson)

AU Joe:

AU Seema:

AU Apu:
AU Sweetu: 

AU Shah:

AU Kate:

AU Steph:

AU Paul: 

AU Abby:

AU Joey: 

Dr. Stephanie Sharma:  (Joe’s wife)

Katharine ‘Kate’ Powers: (their daughter)

Dr. Levi Cohen: (Joe’s friend from college)

Leah Cohen: (Levi’s wife) 

Adina Cohen: (their daughter and also Kate’s friend)

Patrick Powers: (Paul’s dad)

Tiffany Powers: (Paul’s mom)

Vera Powers: (Paul’s grandma)

Paul Powers:  (Kate’s boyfriend/powerlifter)

Dimitri: (Paul’s Husky)

Scene 1—How Time Flies

(Abigail and Joey are playing with Dimitri and having a blast in the backyard.  Paul is cooking in the kitchen getting ready for lunch when he sees an odd glow coming from the pantry.  Naturally, he is drawn to it, giving in to his inquisitive nature.)

Paul:  What in blue blazes ?   That’s…definitely supernatural.  Kate !  Come here, quick ! 

Kate:  What’s up, hon ? WOAH !   Is that what I think it is ?

Paul:  I think it might be.  I never thought I’d see a wormhole in my lifetime. 

Kate:  Question is, what in God’s name is it doing in your pantry ?

Paul:  Maybe some time travelers got hungry and wanted to borrow caviar, hummus or some stroganoff mix ? 

Kate:  (laughs)  I highly doubt that, my dear. 

(Paul can’t help but chuckle himself.  The idea seems rather silly, but still the spontaneous link between their realm and another spurs him on.) 

Paul:  We need dad’s expertise.  

Kate:   Yeah, and mom too. 

Paul:  The whole fan-damily should be in on this little discovery. 

Kate:  I concur.   (calls in the Sharma clan, who is visiting, and naturally the kids follow from outside) 

Joe:  Why is the pantry glowing…Great GANESH !

Steph:  Took the words right out of my mouth, my love. 

Apu:  Do you know what this means ?

Joey:  No, but I want in on it.

Sweetu:  Absolutely not.  We don’t know what’s on the other side of that portal. 

Shah:  Yes, little lovelies.   It could be uber dangerous. 

Abby:  Great-grandpa, just because you say ‘uber’ doesn’t make you ‘hip to the jive’. 

Shah:  (mock pouts) 

Abby:  I still think you’re plenty cool though. 

Seema:  Daddy might have a point there though.  I’m not so certain that actually going inside the wormhole is such a great plan. 

Joe:  Mom, if we don’t we’ll never know what’s on the other side of it.  This is the sort of thrill we have been all waiting for.   Science has been waiting to see if these anomalies actually exist.  

Steph:  What if we don’t live to tell the tale ? Think of our grandkids. 

Joey:  Grandpa, we have to take that chance !

Abby:  My brother’s flipping nuts, but he’s right. 

Kate:  (narrating)  Same ol’ cuckoo family.   Even my children inherited the kooky gene !   So, there we were, heading into the abyss to who knows where traveling to see who knows what ! 

(The scene shifts from them all heading inside of the wormhole while Geometry Dash plays in the background while they zip to another realm.   They’re soon transported to a house that is similar to theirs, and oddly enough, they have been expecting themselves.) 

Scene 2—Can’t Fathom the Strangeness

AU Joe:  Welcome to our world.  We’ve been expecting you.

Steph:  You mean, this version of ourselves is expecting us.  

Joey:  Woah.  Mind…literally…blown. 

Abby:  I don’t know if I comprehend any of it. 

Kate:  Don’t feel bad, most of our peregrinations are this way.   Just go with the flow. 

Apu:  That’s how the Sharma family rolls !  

AU Apu:  You know, you were exactly how I pictured you. 

Apu:  This is….so…bizarre.  Like looking in a mirror but different. 

Seema:  Yeah, it’s weird.  We’re all Caucasian.   Are there other versions ?

AU Seema:  As infinite as the universe is.  Of course.  Even evil versions.  Other versions tend to stay in their own little bubble.  

Joe:  I knew it !  Bubble universes do exist !   When I come home, Levi will want to hear of that.  He has connections in the Quantum Mechanics field and their collective socks are going to be rocked. 

AU Joe:   I know, right ?  (They laugh) 

Steph:  This is just so weird, but yet, it feels right. 

Kate:  So, how did you guys figure out mastering folding space-time ?

AU Kate:  Paul here helped me with a nuclear reactor to power a large hadron collider.   He and I work at our version of CERN. 

Paul:  That’s exactly what I would want to do if I had the money and time. 

AU Paul:   Different world, different ambitions.  Different purpose.  And yours is just as honorable as mine my friend.

Paul:  Why thank you…me.  (shakes head)  Messing with my mind here, man. 

AU Paul:  You’ll get used to it.  We are similar but we’re unique.  

Kate:  (narrating)  AU Paul was correct about acclimating to ourselves.   Sure we were unique on the other side of the wormhole, but we had no idea why they would’ve wanted to meet us.  So we sat down and had a lengthy chat. 

(scene shift)

Scene 3—Getting to Know Ourselves Over Lunch

AU Joe:  (eating American fast food)  So, Joe.   What is it that you do ?  I’m a contractor.  I design, flip houses, decorate and dabble in painting.  One thing I know we do have in common is that we’re left handed.  

Joe:  Yeah, that’s sort of a rarity where I come from. 

AU Steph:  (laughs)   Almost everyone here is left handed.   Right handers are few and far between, but it’s not seen as a, pardon the pun, handy cap. 

(They all groan) 

Steph:  Your puns are worse than mine.  Who would’ve thought ?

AU Seema:   Even my great grandkids are cute in your Universe.  

Joey:  Awww, that’s lofty praise. 

Abby:  It feels kind of unnatural but heck, praise is praise !  

AU Abby:  Enough chatter.  Who wants to bowl ? 

Shah:  You have a bowling alley in your house ? 

AU Shah:  Yep, and a billiard table.  

Joe: (grin) The ultimate man cave.  

(‘Crazy’s What They Think About Me’ sung by Fitz and the Tantrums plays in the background while they have a blast laughing and savoring each other’s time.) 

AU Joe:  (starts to have a look of sadness on his countenance)

AU Apu:  Looks like the gateway is starting to lose stability. 

AU Steph:  You guys better slide back on home before it destabilizes completely. 

AU Steph:  We were only able to open it and not reinforce it.  Sorry. 

Steph:  Don’t be.  Back where we come from, we’re nowhere near this sort of power.  

Joe:  I will be giving your formulae to my friend though.  That is, if I have your permission.  

All Sharmas: Yes !

AU Joe:  Indubitably.   Your friend Levi knows that this information is priceless and delicate.  He won’t let it fall into the wrong hands.  

Joe:  Do you have a friend like him here ? 

AU Joe:  Sure do, but he’s the one that comes to me when he wants advice in the quantum world.  

Joe:  (shakes head left and right)  Still a lot to absorb.  Feeling a bit woozy from all of it.  

AU Sweetu:  All that shifting has affected you quite a bit.  You should return soon.  

Kate:  (narrating)  We didn’t think it would break any of the laws of space/time, so we hugged ourselves goodbye, as weird as that sounds or seems.  Nothing happened.  I suppose disrupting the silk of space/time only occurs if you kill a relative or something drastic like that.   (titters)  The grandfather paradox is only theory.   Good thing I’m not manic or inquisitive enough to try it out for myself.   We received so many answers to questions that science has poised for eons but still many remain.   This won’t be our last adventure.   There are still so many more to be had.   However, we know Dharma, our restaurant, can’t run itself.   We continue to keep our clientele fed physically and spiritually, gazing upon our past journeys and delighting in the friendships we make every single second.   This surreal trip had taught all of us something; that there is so much left to be discovered and so much more living left to be done.  Honestly, I think we all do that, and with plenty of gusto and zest.

(As we see the families travel back to their own dimension, happy familiar Hindi music plays in the background where they are back at home.  Nothing has changed at all, save for the fact that Dimitri is happy to see them.   They all embrace and dance with each other.  A scene shift is shown and the Sharmas are back in business. Eli and his family are eating in the restaurant with the documents he has given him.  The main theme from Darr plays in the background and then the credits roll.   Photographs from all their previous peregrinations appear on screen as well as bloopers and some behind the scenes glimpses.   A quote appears at the very end, ‘The greatest journey is that of friendship.  The road is easier to travel with companions by your side.  Adventure is out there, seize it !’)