Rejected Super Hero Coalition
Synopsis: A group of superheroes that are unknown, klumsy, awkward, etc. We have Sticky Man (a man who sticks to himself), Man Baby (a man in a baby's body), Murphy's Law (a young girl with constant bad luck), Yogi Berry (A surprisingly flexible pilates, Zumba, yoga instructor), Narcolepsy (a superhero that falls asleep most of the time), Waffle (a superhero who sprays maple syrup as an attack), Disco (a superheroine who can blind her opposition with photomancy. Also has an obsession with sequins.)
~*~CAST*~*
HEROES/HEROINES
Sticky Man: (aka Lloyd Barger, leader of RSHC)
Man Baby: (aka Frank Childs)
Murphy's Law: (aka 'Melee May' Hershey)
Yogi Berry: (aka Saffron Dawn)
Narcolepsy: (aka Nate Short)
Waffle: (aka Richard Kruller)
Disco: (aka Kendra Stout)
Google Man: (aka Hendricks 'Henry' Petrovich)
VILLAINS/VILLAINESSES
Elbow Macaroni: (aka Anthony Corelone)
Firecracker: (aka Herodias Goldblum)
Chatter: (aka Charlie 'Chuck' Sand)
Muzak: (aka Gorgophone Stamos)
Malatov Cocktail: (Eugene Malinokov)
Card Trick: (Laverna Oppenheimer)
Two Left Feet: (Daemon Zapatos)
Polka Dot: (Myrtle Groll)
TRUE VILLAINY
Wilcom Hardock: (The Computer Guru, who wants Technology to run our world and is the first true 'Bionic' man)
Yes Man #1:
Yes Man #2:
Yes Man #3:
Tailor:
Chef:
Madari Hardock: (his brainwashed wife)
Tobias Hardock: (their beloved brainwashed son)
Tina Hardock: (their beloved brainwashed daughter)
'ORDINARY' FOLKS
Police Officer, Cheif Mark Paloma:
Rosie Posey: (Richard's ex)
Maria Contessa Luisa Paloma: (Mark's daughter)
Raquel Paloma: (Mark's wife)
Scene 1--Failing But Never Giving Up
Lloyd: Welcome to the Rejected Super Hero Coalition. Sure it sounds a bit depressing, but we all see it as our own 'Island of Misfit Toys'. We do fail, and quite a bit, but we always see it through rose colored glasses.
Frank: (nodding) We're sort of forgotten here in the Fortress.
Melee: Yet, from up here, we can see everything.
Yogi: That way we can stop villainy before it even begins.
Nate: (Yawning, stretching, snoring slightly and waking up) The news says that Elbow Macaroni's up to no good again.
Kendra: Macaroni's small time. Get him into hot water, he's limper than a wet noodle.
Richard: Kind of makes you wonder about his sex life !
(They laugh)
Lloyd: That's low, and besides, we shouldn't be talking about that sort of thing in front of May.
Melee: Guys, I have heard worse, hell, even seen worse. I'm not a kid. I can handle the grown up stuff.
Frank: She *does* have a point.
Nate: I'm taking a snooze. Wake me when a *real* problem arises.
Saffron: Wait, there just might be. Firecracker and Malotov Cocktail seem to be up to something. Come on, let's get on the case.
Lloyd: Always there, even before the boys in blue. Right ?
Kendra: Right. Come on, everyone, bring it in !
(They all do)
Together: Go RSHC ! Yeah !
Lloyd: (narrating) We all owed our powers to a contained nuclear blast off the island we happened to be vacationing at.
Frank: (narrating) Yeah, no one TOLD us it was a test site.
Melee: (narrating) Well, Frank, it would've been nice if *SOMEONE* had read the danger signs all around us. I tried to warn y'all.
Saffron: (narrating) Less kavetching, more butt kicking !
Kendra: I'm trying not to get set on fire by Maltov and Firecracker. Woah, hot, hot, hot. Talk about a lava relationship !
Lloyd: Another day. Another dolor.
(They end up defeating the villains, for the time being and heading back to headquarters, a bit worse for wear. Scene transition.)
Scene 2--Celebrate Good Times, Come On !
(Back at the Fortress, the superheroes celebrate their victory)
Nate: Now's a good time for me to take a nap. (nearly nods off standing up)
Melee: Not under my watch, Narco. No way ! I mean, with the battle we had, it was quite the sight !
Kendra: You should've seen me. I got Polka Dot with my photomancy skills.
Saffron: That was so boss, Disco-girl !
Frank: I would be having a martini with you guys, but don't you wonder why we're doing this ?
Lloyd: Why are you so sore ? Isn't helping people enough ?
Frank: You're one to talk. You know why we're always ahead of the authorities. We don't really mix well with them.
Richard: Oh, man. Here we go again.
(Flashback)
Officer: (a bit peeved) You were going pretty fast back there, Sticky Man.
Lloyd: Sorry, officer. I was in a hurry to get back to the Fortress.
Officer: And do my job for me ?
(shakes head) Sometimes you can be a real nuisance. Ever since your Coalition started, you've been nothing but a bother.
Lloyd: Damn, you're a real ray of sunshine, aren't you Mark ? This is the second time this week, man !
Officer: (a bit more irate, clears throat) License and registration. Please.
Lloyd: (Gets stuck to himself) Just a moment. Oh, crap. Not again.
Officer: Don't tell me. You're stuck to yourself again.
Lloyd: This...is very awkward !
Officer: Oh, GOD...Don't tell me...
Lloyd: Look, I'm not whackin' my meat, oh Lord. (pulls hands off crotch and gets his license) Here.
Officer: (grossed out) Keep it. I'm giving you a warning.
(Fade in)
Richard: You think you got it bad.
(Flashback)
Rosie: This is quite the shindig. And look at you, all dressed up. It's the first time I've seen you without your mask, cape and tights.
Richard: I wanted to look my best for you Rosie.
Rosie: You look splendid.
Richard: You look angelic ! Well (bashfully) you always do no matter what you wear.
(She reaches across the table to hold his hand and syrup comes out, it gets all over her.)
Richard: Oh my God, I am so sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out.
Rosie: Normally I'd make a bawdy retort to that, but y'know, I'm just not in the mood. My dress is ruined. Thanks Rich.
(Fade in)
Richard: My hands are the main reason I stay single.
Lloyd: (gets ready to make remark)
Richard: Don't even think about it, Sticky Man.
Frank: But now at least you understand ! Right ? We're the loser and reject party.
Melee: So what ? Isn't that what sets us apart ? Forget the fact that the authorities *loathe* our ever-justice-loving guts.
Kendra: We do what we must to keep the streets safe.
Frank: For what purpose, though ? We'll never be thanked for it.
Nate: Could you guys keep it down ? I'm trying to nap.
Melee: ManBaby, you're acting far too much like your moniqer.
Frank: (pouts a bit, but then softens) I *am* overreacting. Forgive me, May.
Melee: Don't worry about it. It all gets to us at one point and time.
Lloyd: (narrating) However, we didn't allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity and low self-esteem to corrupt our minds any longer because just then, we recieved a call from my favorite police officer, Chief Mark Paloma.
(Scene shift)
Scene 3--Desperate Times
Officer: (on the phone, split screen)
Come on, come on. Answer the phone, damn it !
Lloyd: (drowsily) Do you realize what time it is ?
Officer: Yes, I do Sticky Man. Don't hate me but there's a bigger issue in progress. All the females in this area are disappearing. This includes my wife and loving daughter. The bastard responsible is Wilcolm Hardock.
Frank: (angrily) That luscivious, no good, low down LETCH !
Nate: (yawning) What do I care if he has our villains in his clutches, too ?
Melle: Narco ! How cold ! Think about it, they have families too and they miss them. If you sink to their level, you're only making it worse.
Nate: You're right. Let's not keep kvetching. Let's get on with it.
Lloyd: And investigate we did. Turns out
Scene 4--'Family', Disrupted
Wilcolm: Polka Dot, my dear, play that song again, will you ?
(Polka Dot plays her theme song, dancing merrily with her accordion, entertaining Tobias and Tina.)
Tina: Father, this is wonderful !
Toby: How did you ever manage this menagerie of talent ?
Wilcolm: (patting his pocketwatch at his hip) Oh, I have my ways. Ah, Madari. You've come just in time. Card Trick was going to do some magic.
Card Trick: That's right ! Come one, come all to the fastest hands this side of the Carolinas. (looks at Wilcolm, who gives her a luscivious, perverted look) Sir, get your mind out of the gutter. Though my fingers are magic ones, they're only used to prestidigitate.
Toby: (wildly, laughing) That's what she said !
(All of a sudden, heroes AND villains barge in.)
Malatov: Just because we teamed up with you THIS time, Coalition, doesn't mean we're buds.
Lloyd: Likewise, Malotov Cocktail.
Two Left Feet: Let's DANCE, Hardock.
(The women on the Coalition team have been unaffected until now.)
Elbow: Don't look directly into his eyes !
Malotov: EM, why are you helping them ?
Elbow: We need their help just as much as they need ours !
Frank: Get ready to get your asses tromped !
(An epic battle ensues, and ultimately, all those who were under Hardock's influence. Ultimately, he is knocked out and taken for procecution.)
Firecracker: (wrapping arms around Malatov) You love me, really ? Right ?
Malotov: You know I do, my little pyromaniac. (kisses her passionately)
Card Trick: Come on, Two Left Feet, let's shake a leg before we're rounded up...oh Siegfried and ROY !
(They're all rounded up too.)
Melee: Sorry about that, CT, but all of you are violating your prison sentence.
Lloyd: (narrating) Villains were thrown in the slammer again and we had returned to the Fortress. Honestly, we felt we could just relax for the time being and put our feet up, but our new existence was just beginning.
Scene 5--I Owe You So Much
Officer: I just wanted to let you know I thank you. The whole community thanks you. In fact, the Mayor was talking about giving you an honorary dinner for your acts of bravery and altruism. You'll be getting the key to the city.
Nate: (actually excited) Seriously ? Algebraic !
Melee: Pinch me, I must be dreaming.
Kendra: (does so)
Melee: OW, dang it. Not literally.
Kendra: Sorry, open door, dear. I walked through, it's what I do.
Lloyd: In a flash, we put on our best duds, met the Mayor and started overcoming the stigma of being 'rejected'. It was something we weren't used to. It also gave us insight on those we called 'enemies' as well. They weren't such bad people, and in fact, they had the capacity to change. Who knew, maybe, perhaps, they could become part of our Coalition someday ? Something to ponder. As for current situations, we began recruiting. So far, we have another superhero under our belt. He's Google Man and he makes life so much easier. He's a real hit with the ladies too. Not that I'm jealous. Much.
(A flash forward of all their success is shown, and Google Man charming the ladies. They jam to the remix of 'All Star'. 'I'm So Humble' from Popstar plays in the credits, followed by 'Kryptonite' and and instrumental version, symphonic of the theme song to 'You're A Shining Star'. Thanks goes to my good friend Jimbo. Had I not had a conversation with him about a random character that stuck to himself and an exchange with a police officer (the inception of said script), this conception would not have come to fruition. You rock, especially your imagination, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise ! Also, Google Man would've been non-existent had it not been for my buddy, Dhani. I love you, man !)
(Short scene during credits...)
Google Man: (Does quick attack on the villains, our titular Malotov, dousing his mowhawk flame.)
Nate: (Wakes up, applauds)
Richard: Heh, first time he's ever applauded or stayed awake long enough to see us trounce these clowns again. Good goin' Google Man.
Google Man: (Wink to Kendra and Saffron) I aim to please and in more ways than one.
Frank: Oy, vey.
~*~CAST*~*
HEROES/HEROINES
Sticky Man: (aka Lloyd Barger, leader of RSHC)
Man Baby: (aka Frank Childs)
Murphy's Law: (aka 'Melee May' Hershey)
Yogi Berry: (aka Saffron Dawn)
Narcolepsy: (aka Nate Short)
Waffle: (aka Richard Kruller)
Disco: (aka Kendra Stout)
Google Man: (aka Hendricks 'Henry' Petrovich)
VILLAINS/VILLAINESSES
Elbow Macaroni: (aka Anthony Corelone)
Firecracker: (aka Herodias Goldblum)
Chatter: (aka Charlie 'Chuck' Sand)
Muzak: (aka Gorgophone Stamos)
Malatov Cocktail: (Eugene Malinokov)
Card Trick: (Laverna Oppenheimer)
Two Left Feet: (Daemon Zapatos)
Polka Dot: (Myrtle Groll)
TRUE VILLAINY
Wilcom Hardock: (The Computer Guru, who wants Technology to run our world and is the first true 'Bionic' man)
Yes Man #1:
Yes Man #2:
Yes Man #3:
Tailor:
Chef:
Madari Hardock: (his brainwashed wife)
Tobias Hardock: (their beloved brainwashed son)
Tina Hardock: (their beloved brainwashed daughter)
'ORDINARY' FOLKS
Police Officer, Cheif Mark Paloma:
Rosie Posey: (Richard's ex)
Maria Contessa Luisa Paloma: (Mark's daughter)
Raquel Paloma: (Mark's wife)
Scene 1--Failing But Never Giving Up
Lloyd: Welcome to the Rejected Super Hero Coalition. Sure it sounds a bit depressing, but we all see it as our own 'Island of Misfit Toys'. We do fail, and quite a bit, but we always see it through rose colored glasses.
Frank: (nodding) We're sort of forgotten here in the Fortress.
Melee: Yet, from up here, we can see everything.
Yogi: That way we can stop villainy before it even begins.
Nate: (Yawning, stretching, snoring slightly and waking up) The news says that Elbow Macaroni's up to no good again.
Kendra: Macaroni's small time. Get him into hot water, he's limper than a wet noodle.
Richard: Kind of makes you wonder about his sex life !
(They laugh)
Lloyd: That's low, and besides, we shouldn't be talking about that sort of thing in front of May.
Melee: Guys, I have heard worse, hell, even seen worse. I'm not a kid. I can handle the grown up stuff.
Frank: She *does* have a point.
Nate: I'm taking a snooze. Wake me when a *real* problem arises.
Saffron: Wait, there just might be. Firecracker and Malotov Cocktail seem to be up to something. Come on, let's get on the case.
Lloyd: Always there, even before the boys in blue. Right ?
Kendra: Right. Come on, everyone, bring it in !
(They all do)
Together: Go RSHC ! Yeah !
Lloyd: (narrating) We all owed our powers to a contained nuclear blast off the island we happened to be vacationing at.
Frank: (narrating) Yeah, no one TOLD us it was a test site.
Melee: (narrating) Well, Frank, it would've been nice if *SOMEONE* had read the danger signs all around us. I tried to warn y'all.
Saffron: (narrating) Less kavetching, more butt kicking !
Kendra: I'm trying not to get set on fire by Maltov and Firecracker. Woah, hot, hot, hot. Talk about a lava relationship !
Lloyd: Another day. Another dolor.
(They end up defeating the villains, for the time being and heading back to headquarters, a bit worse for wear. Scene transition.)
Scene 2--Celebrate Good Times, Come On !
(Back at the Fortress, the superheroes celebrate their victory)
Nate: Now's a good time for me to take a nap. (nearly nods off standing up)
Melee: Not under my watch, Narco. No way ! I mean, with the battle we had, it was quite the sight !
Kendra: You should've seen me. I got Polka Dot with my photomancy skills.
Saffron: That was so boss, Disco-girl !
Frank: I would be having a martini with you guys, but don't you wonder why we're doing this ?
Lloyd: Why are you so sore ? Isn't helping people enough ?
Frank: You're one to talk. You know why we're always ahead of the authorities. We don't really mix well with them.
Richard: Oh, man. Here we go again.
(Flashback)
Officer: (a bit peeved) You were going pretty fast back there, Sticky Man.
Lloyd: Sorry, officer. I was in a hurry to get back to the Fortress.
Officer: And do my job for me ?
(shakes head) Sometimes you can be a real nuisance. Ever since your Coalition started, you've been nothing but a bother.
Lloyd: Damn, you're a real ray of sunshine, aren't you Mark ? This is the second time this week, man !
Officer: (a bit more irate, clears throat) License and registration. Please.
Lloyd: (Gets stuck to himself) Just a moment. Oh, crap. Not again.
Officer: Don't tell me. You're stuck to yourself again.
Lloyd: This...is very awkward !
Officer: Oh, GOD...Don't tell me...
Lloyd: Look, I'm not whackin' my meat, oh Lord. (pulls hands off crotch and gets his license) Here.
Officer: (grossed out) Keep it. I'm giving you a warning.
(Fade in)
Richard: You think you got it bad.
(Flashback)
Rosie: This is quite the shindig. And look at you, all dressed up. It's the first time I've seen you without your mask, cape and tights.
Richard: I wanted to look my best for you Rosie.
Rosie: You look splendid.
Richard: You look angelic ! Well (bashfully) you always do no matter what you wear.
(She reaches across the table to hold his hand and syrup comes out, it gets all over her.)
Richard: Oh my God, I am so sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out.
Rosie: Normally I'd make a bawdy retort to that, but y'know, I'm just not in the mood. My dress is ruined. Thanks Rich.
(Fade in)
Richard: My hands are the main reason I stay single.
Lloyd: (gets ready to make remark)
Richard: Don't even think about it, Sticky Man.
Frank: But now at least you understand ! Right ? We're the loser and reject party.
Melee: So what ? Isn't that what sets us apart ? Forget the fact that the authorities *loathe* our ever-justice-loving guts.
Kendra: We do what we must to keep the streets safe.
Frank: For what purpose, though ? We'll never be thanked for it.
Nate: Could you guys keep it down ? I'm trying to nap.
Melee: ManBaby, you're acting far too much like your moniqer.
Frank: (pouts a bit, but then softens) I *am* overreacting. Forgive me, May.
Melee: Don't worry about it. It all gets to us at one point and time.
Lloyd: (narrating) However, we didn't allow ourselves to wallow in self-pity and low self-esteem to corrupt our minds any longer because just then, we recieved a call from my favorite police officer, Chief Mark Paloma.
(Scene shift)
Scene 3--Desperate Times
Officer: (on the phone, split screen)
Come on, come on. Answer the phone, damn it !
Lloyd: (drowsily) Do you realize what time it is ?
Officer: Yes, I do Sticky Man. Don't hate me but there's a bigger issue in progress. All the females in this area are disappearing. This includes my wife and loving daughter. The bastard responsible is Wilcolm Hardock.
Frank: (angrily) That luscivious, no good, low down LETCH !
Nate: (yawning) What do I care if he has our villains in his clutches, too ?
Melle: Narco ! How cold ! Think about it, they have families too and they miss them. If you sink to their level, you're only making it worse.
Nate: You're right. Let's not keep kvetching. Let's get on with it.
Lloyd: And investigate we did. Turns out
Scene 4--'Family', Disrupted
Wilcolm: Polka Dot, my dear, play that song again, will you ?
(Polka Dot plays her theme song, dancing merrily with her accordion, entertaining Tobias and Tina.)
Tina: Father, this is wonderful !
Toby: How did you ever manage this menagerie of talent ?
Wilcolm: (patting his pocketwatch at his hip) Oh, I have my ways. Ah, Madari. You've come just in time. Card Trick was going to do some magic.
Card Trick: That's right ! Come one, come all to the fastest hands this side of the Carolinas. (looks at Wilcolm, who gives her a luscivious, perverted look) Sir, get your mind out of the gutter. Though my fingers are magic ones, they're only used to prestidigitate.
Toby: (wildly, laughing) That's what she said !
(All of a sudden, heroes AND villains barge in.)
Malatov: Just because we teamed up with you THIS time, Coalition, doesn't mean we're buds.
Lloyd: Likewise, Malotov Cocktail.
Two Left Feet: Let's DANCE, Hardock.
(The women on the Coalition team have been unaffected until now.)
Elbow: Don't look directly into his eyes !
Malotov: EM, why are you helping them ?
Elbow: We need their help just as much as they need ours !
Frank: Get ready to get your asses tromped !
(An epic battle ensues, and ultimately, all those who were under Hardock's influence. Ultimately, he is knocked out and taken for procecution.)
Firecracker: (wrapping arms around Malatov) You love me, really ? Right ?
Malotov: You know I do, my little pyromaniac. (kisses her passionately)
Card Trick: Come on, Two Left Feet, let's shake a leg before we're rounded up...oh Siegfried and ROY !
(They're all rounded up too.)
Melee: Sorry about that, CT, but all of you are violating your prison sentence.
Lloyd: (narrating) Villains were thrown in the slammer again and we had returned to the Fortress. Honestly, we felt we could just relax for the time being and put our feet up, but our new existence was just beginning.
Scene 5--I Owe You So Much
Officer: I just wanted to let you know I thank you. The whole community thanks you. In fact, the Mayor was talking about giving you an honorary dinner for your acts of bravery and altruism. You'll be getting the key to the city.
Nate: (actually excited) Seriously ? Algebraic !
Melee: Pinch me, I must be dreaming.
Kendra: (does so)
Melee: OW, dang it. Not literally.
Kendra: Sorry, open door, dear. I walked through, it's what I do.
Lloyd: In a flash, we put on our best duds, met the Mayor and started overcoming the stigma of being 'rejected'. It was something we weren't used to. It also gave us insight on those we called 'enemies' as well. They weren't such bad people, and in fact, they had the capacity to change. Who knew, maybe, perhaps, they could become part of our Coalition someday ? Something to ponder. As for current situations, we began recruiting. So far, we have another superhero under our belt. He's Google Man and he makes life so much easier. He's a real hit with the ladies too. Not that I'm jealous. Much.
(A flash forward of all their success is shown, and Google Man charming the ladies. They jam to the remix of 'All Star'. 'I'm So Humble' from Popstar plays in the credits, followed by 'Kryptonite' and and instrumental version, symphonic of the theme song to 'You're A Shining Star'. Thanks goes to my good friend Jimbo. Had I not had a conversation with him about a random character that stuck to himself and an exchange with a police officer (the inception of said script), this conception would not have come to fruition. You rock, especially your imagination, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise ! Also, Google Man would've been non-existent had it not been for my buddy, Dhani. I love you, man !)
(Short scene during credits...)
Google Man: (Does quick attack on the villains, our titular Malotov, dousing his mowhawk flame.)
Nate: (Wakes up, applauds)
Richard: Heh, first time he's ever applauded or stayed awake long enough to see us trounce these clowns again. Good goin' Google Man.
Google Man: (Wink to Kendra and Saffron) I aim to please and in more ways than one.
Frank: Oy, vey.
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