Rejected Super Hero Coalition: The Ice Man Freezeth
Synopsis: Taking place not long after the first RSHC. We actually get a flashback as to how heroes are selected into the Association for Do-Gooders (or AFDG) or otherwise outsted. We already know the results but the underdogs show their true colors once more just to prove a point.
~*~CAST*~*
HEROES/HEROINES
Sticky Man: (aka Lloyd Barger, leader of RSHC)
Man Baby: (aka Frank Childs)
Murphy's Law: (aka 'Melee May' Hershey)
Yogi Berry: (aka Saffron Dawn)
Narcolepsy: (aka Nate Short)
Waffle: (aka Richard Kruller)
Disco: (aka Kendra Stout)
Google Man: (aka Hendricks 'Henry' Petrovich)
Wiki Girl: (Fiona James)
Trivial Persuit: (Holland Oates)
Plus One: (Mira Hinamatsu)
VILLAINS/VILLAINESSES
Elbow Macaroni: (aka Anthony Corelone)
Firecracker: (aka Herodias Goldblum)
Chatter: (aka Charlie 'Chuck' Sand)
Muzak: (aka Gorgophone Stamos)
Malatov Cocktail: (Eugene Malinokov)
Card Trick: (Laverna Oppenheimer)
Two Left Feet: (Daemon Zapatos)
Polka Dot: (Myrtle Groll)
SUPERVILLAIN(S)
Ice Man: (Raymundo 'Ray' Munez)
Ice Queen: (his mom, Contessa Conception Munez)
(Father figure was Elian Munez, a deadbeat alcoholic who preferred partying all the time over parenting)
Captain Chill: (his elder brother Julio Munez)
Ice Cube: (his brother, Chuey Munez)
Nina Fernando: (Ray's possible main squeeze, but he feels she's 'out of his league')
'ORDINARY' FOLKS
Mayor Harfortshire 'Ford' Bates:
Amanda 'Amy' Bates:
Daisy Bates: (daughter)
Rose Marie Bates: (Daisy's sister)
Hyacinth Bates: (youngest sister)
Anchorwoman Marissa Cho:
Scene 1--Meeting the New Recruits
Henry: Good morning everyone !
Everyone: Hey, hey, Google Man ! Good morning indeed !
Henry: (shooting 'guns' to the ladies) Ladies !
All ladies (except Melee): (sigh, nearly swooning)
Melee: I just don't get it.
Kendra: You will when you're older, Murphy. (nudges her in the side)
Henry: I brought you all here to introduce our newest recruits. This here (she rushes in quicker than lightning) is Wiki Girl.
Fiona: (makes a hang loose sign) Pleasure's all mine, everyone !
Trivial Persuit: I'm Trivial Persuit. It'll be sublime working with you all.
Plus One: And I'm Plus One. My duplication skills will come in handy. It's my special jutsu !
Frank: Someone's been watching a bit too much Naruto.
Plus One: Hey, I can't help it if it's an addictive anime, it's awesome !
Lloyd: (narrating) You're probably wondering about my new recruits. Finding them wasn't difficult, especially now that we're notable and have started really kicking bad guy butt and taking names.
(Flashback, we see Lloyd and his compatriots being peer reviewed and ultimately being benched.)
Lloyd: (narrating) That was the past. Currently, we were enjoying our recent victory and partying in earnest.
(They are all dancing to 'Fantastic Voyage' and then 'Rapper's Delight'. Suddenly, breaking news pops their party bubble.)
Wikigirl: Could you bump that up a notch ? I can't hear it.
Neil: Sure thing, Fiona.
Anchorwoman: This is Marissa Cho, reporting from downtown. I have never seen anything like this in the years I have been covering the news. Ice Man has broken out of maximum security prison, freezing everything in sight. He's come with his family, turning downtown into a snowglobe.
Ice Man: (freezes her) When I find the bastard that stole my mom's happiness, no one, and I mean no one will escape my gelid wrath ! Mayor Bates, I'm coming for you !
Lloyd: This is a job for Rejected...Ah, heck, name change...Super Hero Coalition !
(They start persuing Ice Man and his family to the remix of 'A Little Less Conversation A Little More Action', but it's too late, they have absconded with the Mayor and are completely gone.)
PO: Awww, man ! They got away.
Frank: Don't worry about it, Mira. We have methods of tracking them down. Wherever you are Ice Company, we'll catch you.
(Scene transition/wipe)
Scene 2--Ice Pop-sicle Thawed
Ice Man: Time to wake up, papa.
Ford: (coming out of the cold, Ice Queen gives him a blanket and cocoa to warm up) Gee, um...thanks ?
Ice Queen: De nada, guapo.
Ice Cube: Good to have a man around the house for once. Mama likes you.
Ford: (dreamily and then finally coming to) That's so wondrous...Wait a minute, you're that psycho ice guy !
Ice Man: (icily) I'd watch my tone if I were you, papa. I brought you into my home, I'm letting you stay free of charge.
Ford: I'm a married man, though. What of my family at home ?
Capt. Chill: (oblivously, with a big, brilliant but ultimately cool grin) Natch, you're *our* family now.
Ford: (thinking to himself) Might as well go along with this cherade lest I incite their wrath. (speaking up) Your hospitality is more than welcome.
Capt.: You're welcome, pop !
IC: Make yourself at home. Mama made a huge meal, go ahead and dig in.
Ford: (thinking to himself) This might not be so bad after all. Forgive me wife and kids, but I have to indulge in their fantasy as long as it takes. I'll be rescued, just you wait. Then all will be back to normal. (eats with relish) Oh, GOD that is orgasmically delcious.
(Mariachi music plays in the background while Ford has no trouble gorging himself on savory Mexican cuisine.)
(Scene shift)
Scene 3--Dinner, Interrupted
(The Super Hero Coalition comes in, fanfare playing in the background.)
Wiki: My GPS never fails me !
PO: Great work, Wikigirl ! That rocked !
Wiki: (dusting herself off, being a bit of a showboat) Ain't nothin' but a thing, chickadee.
Google: Rescue mission now, brag and steal limelight later, Wiki !
Ford: Thank heaven you've come. I knew you'd see the report and get me out of this mad house. (through gritted teeth) These crazies think *I'm* their new father. Granted, the food *IS* exquisite, but it's just not the same without the woman and my children.
Lloyd: Just doing our job, Mr. Mayor. Come on, let's scram.
Ice Queen: Leaving so soon, Coalition ?
Frank: (nearly drooling) Why would you want to leave *her* ? My GOD, she's a stone cold fox...(low wolf whistle)
Ice Queen: Thank you for the compliments, little man. (strokes his chin in a very seductive way)
Frank: (lusciously) Don't stop. No I mean, seriously. Don't stop.
Cpt. Chill: Why don't you all chill ? (he freezes them before they have a chance to react) And stay awhile.
Lloyd: (narrating) As you probably figured, we did *not* see this turning point coming, not even if you alerted us in advance. Their ice abilities were too cold for us to handle. We were frozen, but WikiGirl called in a favor.
(In Maximum Security prison. A symphnoic version of 'Clint Eastwood' is playing in the background.)
Firecracker: So, I was thinking, we owe them.
Noodle: But they *put* us here to begin with. We'll just end up back here after everything is said and done.
Polka: So ? Maybe it'll knock some years off our sentence. Good behavoir points, remember ?
Chatter: Polka Dot's got an excellent reprieve.
Molotov: Alright. Light me up.
(An instrumental version of 'Light 'Em Up' plays as they break out. A fast-paced action sequence between the shocked guards scrambling to pen down our villains plays out, 'Volcano Girls' follows in the background, and they come to the Coalition's rescue, reluctantly.)
(Molotov frees the Coalition and begins to escort them out.)
Ice Cube: Where do you think YOU'RE goin, hot head ?
Molotov: I'm not in the mood for your lame puns, kid.
Ice Man: If you think you're going to take papa from me, from US, you have another thing coming !
(An instrumental verion of 'Hit Between the Eyes' plays in the background while the two battle it out. Ford slips out unnoticed and back to his family as if nothing happened.)
Elbow: This is getting us nowhere.
Waffle: No kidding EB. These Ice Guys, they won't stop coming !
WG: I've gotten backup. But PO has them confused.
PO: Which one is the real me ? Can't figure it out ? (mock pout) Tan pi !
Google: Go Plus One ! Go !
Lloyd: (narrating) With all of us working together, we were able to subdue the Ice Clan until the police came and took the Frigid Four to be prosecuted. Granted, they were put in solitary for quite a while and our villains did get out for good behavior. I couldn't believe it but something told me someday we might need their help again. Just not today.
(Scene shift)
Scene 4--Not So Cold As Ice
(An instrumental, jazzy version of 'Cold As Ice' plays)
Nina: (coming to bail him out)
Ice Man: (totally shocked) Nina ? What brings you here ?
Nina: I was thinking of giving you a second chance. I mean, you might be a bit intense and extreme, but deep inside I know you have a gentle heart. If you're willing to change, I'll be willing to bail all of you out.
Ice Man: How can you though, you can't possibly have that much money.
Nina: I am one of the richest people alive. I give most of my money to charity. I like to help where I am needed by teaching people skills that can make them independent. If you will allow me, I can help you and your family.
Ice Man: You'd do that ?
Nina: I still love you. I can't give up on what we have. I'm willing to give you a second chance.
Ice Man: (is almost too stunned to speak for a moment) I always thought you were too good for me. (sings) She's so high, so high above me, she's so lovely...
Nina: (laughs) Always the romantic charmer. That part of you has never changed.
Ice Man: It comes from my heart. I do want to become better, for you, for me, for my family. (offers hand through glass) Let's make a deal, Nina.
Nina: Done.
Lloyd: (narrating) And in a snap of a finger, Ice Man began to become reformed, which none of us saw coming whatsoever. Despite the fact that the Frigid Four are released and reforming themselves. As for our regular villains it's a tricky situation. We're not certain if they've truly repented or if they'll return to their usual tricks. One thing is for certain, though.
Waffle: Wherever there's evil...
Disco: Whevever there's trouble...
Murphy: Count on the Coalition to put a stop to it !
Narco: We'll always be there.
Together: Super Hero Colation !
(They head into battle to a musical version of 'The Final Countdown' and are shown facing off a new band of villains. After that clip, we see the Mayor and his family enjoying their lives together and dancing to 'Get On Up and Dance' followed by 'Thank You For Letting Me Be Myself'. Gaffs and bloopers air, followed by behind the scenes looks and our cast being spontaenous I can imagine. To everyone who gave me the muse to write this grand piece, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This would not have come into existence had it not been for you. And someday, yes, (singing) I'm gonna be a producer. I guarantee you that.)
~*~CAST*~*
HEROES/HEROINES
Sticky Man: (aka Lloyd Barger, leader of RSHC)
Man Baby: (aka Frank Childs)
Murphy's Law: (aka 'Melee May' Hershey)
Yogi Berry: (aka Saffron Dawn)
Narcolepsy: (aka Nate Short)
Waffle: (aka Richard Kruller)
Disco: (aka Kendra Stout)
Google Man: (aka Hendricks 'Henry' Petrovich)
Wiki Girl: (Fiona James)
Trivial Persuit: (Holland Oates)
Plus One: (Mira Hinamatsu)
VILLAINS/VILLAINESSES
Elbow Macaroni: (aka Anthony Corelone)
Firecracker: (aka Herodias Goldblum)
Chatter: (aka Charlie 'Chuck' Sand)
Muzak: (aka Gorgophone Stamos)
Malatov Cocktail: (Eugene Malinokov)
Card Trick: (Laverna Oppenheimer)
Two Left Feet: (Daemon Zapatos)
Polka Dot: (Myrtle Groll)
SUPERVILLAIN(S)
Ice Man: (Raymundo 'Ray' Munez)
Ice Queen: (his mom, Contessa Conception Munez)
(Father figure was Elian Munez, a deadbeat alcoholic who preferred partying all the time over parenting)
Captain Chill: (his elder brother Julio Munez)
Ice Cube: (his brother, Chuey Munez)
Nina Fernando: (Ray's possible main squeeze, but he feels she's 'out of his league')
'ORDINARY' FOLKS
Mayor Harfortshire 'Ford' Bates:
Amanda 'Amy' Bates:
Daisy Bates: (daughter)
Rose Marie Bates: (Daisy's sister)
Hyacinth Bates: (youngest sister)
Anchorwoman Marissa Cho:
Scene 1--Meeting the New Recruits
Henry: Good morning everyone !
Everyone: Hey, hey, Google Man ! Good morning indeed !
Henry: (shooting 'guns' to the ladies) Ladies !
All ladies (except Melee): (sigh, nearly swooning)
Melee: I just don't get it.
Kendra: You will when you're older, Murphy. (nudges her in the side)
Henry: I brought you all here to introduce our newest recruits. This here (she rushes in quicker than lightning) is Wiki Girl.
Fiona: (makes a hang loose sign) Pleasure's all mine, everyone !
Trivial Persuit: I'm Trivial Persuit. It'll be sublime working with you all.
Plus One: And I'm Plus One. My duplication skills will come in handy. It's my special jutsu !
Frank: Someone's been watching a bit too much Naruto.
Plus One: Hey, I can't help it if it's an addictive anime, it's awesome !
Lloyd: (narrating) You're probably wondering about my new recruits. Finding them wasn't difficult, especially now that we're notable and have started really kicking bad guy butt and taking names.
(Flashback, we see Lloyd and his compatriots being peer reviewed and ultimately being benched.)
Lloyd: (narrating) That was the past. Currently, we were enjoying our recent victory and partying in earnest.
(They are all dancing to 'Fantastic Voyage' and then 'Rapper's Delight'. Suddenly, breaking news pops their party bubble.)
Wikigirl: Could you bump that up a notch ? I can't hear it.
Neil: Sure thing, Fiona.
Anchorwoman: This is Marissa Cho, reporting from downtown. I have never seen anything like this in the years I have been covering the news. Ice Man has broken out of maximum security prison, freezing everything in sight. He's come with his family, turning downtown into a snowglobe.
Ice Man: (freezes her) When I find the bastard that stole my mom's happiness, no one, and I mean no one will escape my gelid wrath ! Mayor Bates, I'm coming for you !
Lloyd: This is a job for Rejected...Ah, heck, name change...Super Hero Coalition !
(They start persuing Ice Man and his family to the remix of 'A Little Less Conversation A Little More Action', but it's too late, they have absconded with the Mayor and are completely gone.)
PO: Awww, man ! They got away.
Frank: Don't worry about it, Mira. We have methods of tracking them down. Wherever you are Ice Company, we'll catch you.
(Scene transition/wipe)
Scene 2--Ice Pop-sicle Thawed
Ice Man: Time to wake up, papa.
Ford: (coming out of the cold, Ice Queen gives him a blanket and cocoa to warm up) Gee, um...thanks ?
Ice Queen: De nada, guapo.
Ice Cube: Good to have a man around the house for once. Mama likes you.
Ford: (dreamily and then finally coming to) That's so wondrous...Wait a minute, you're that psycho ice guy !
Ice Man: (icily) I'd watch my tone if I were you, papa. I brought you into my home, I'm letting you stay free of charge.
Ford: I'm a married man, though. What of my family at home ?
Capt. Chill: (oblivously, with a big, brilliant but ultimately cool grin) Natch, you're *our* family now.
Ford: (thinking to himself) Might as well go along with this cherade lest I incite their wrath. (speaking up) Your hospitality is more than welcome.
Capt.: You're welcome, pop !
IC: Make yourself at home. Mama made a huge meal, go ahead and dig in.
Ford: (thinking to himself) This might not be so bad after all. Forgive me wife and kids, but I have to indulge in their fantasy as long as it takes. I'll be rescued, just you wait. Then all will be back to normal. (eats with relish) Oh, GOD that is orgasmically delcious.
(Mariachi music plays in the background while Ford has no trouble gorging himself on savory Mexican cuisine.)
(Scene shift)
Scene 3--Dinner, Interrupted
(The Super Hero Coalition comes in, fanfare playing in the background.)
Wiki: My GPS never fails me !
PO: Great work, Wikigirl ! That rocked !
Wiki: (dusting herself off, being a bit of a showboat) Ain't nothin' but a thing, chickadee.
Google: Rescue mission now, brag and steal limelight later, Wiki !
Ford: Thank heaven you've come. I knew you'd see the report and get me out of this mad house. (through gritted teeth) These crazies think *I'm* their new father. Granted, the food *IS* exquisite, but it's just not the same without the woman and my children.
Lloyd: Just doing our job, Mr. Mayor. Come on, let's scram.
Ice Queen: Leaving so soon, Coalition ?
Frank: (nearly drooling) Why would you want to leave *her* ? My GOD, she's a stone cold fox...(low wolf whistle)
Ice Queen: Thank you for the compliments, little man. (strokes his chin in a very seductive way)
Frank: (lusciously) Don't stop. No I mean, seriously. Don't stop.
Cpt. Chill: Why don't you all chill ? (he freezes them before they have a chance to react) And stay awhile.
Lloyd: (narrating) As you probably figured, we did *not* see this turning point coming, not even if you alerted us in advance. Their ice abilities were too cold for us to handle. We were frozen, but WikiGirl called in a favor.
(In Maximum Security prison. A symphnoic version of 'Clint Eastwood' is playing in the background.)
Firecracker: So, I was thinking, we owe them.
Noodle: But they *put* us here to begin with. We'll just end up back here after everything is said and done.
Polka: So ? Maybe it'll knock some years off our sentence. Good behavoir points, remember ?
Chatter: Polka Dot's got an excellent reprieve.
Molotov: Alright. Light me up.
(An instrumental version of 'Light 'Em Up' plays as they break out. A fast-paced action sequence between the shocked guards scrambling to pen down our villains plays out, 'Volcano Girls' follows in the background, and they come to the Coalition's rescue, reluctantly.)
(Molotov frees the Coalition and begins to escort them out.)
Ice Cube: Where do you think YOU'RE goin, hot head ?
Molotov: I'm not in the mood for your lame puns, kid.
Ice Man: If you think you're going to take papa from me, from US, you have another thing coming !
(An instrumental verion of 'Hit Between the Eyes' plays in the background while the two battle it out. Ford slips out unnoticed and back to his family as if nothing happened.)
Elbow: This is getting us nowhere.
Waffle: No kidding EB. These Ice Guys, they won't stop coming !
WG: I've gotten backup. But PO has them confused.
PO: Which one is the real me ? Can't figure it out ? (mock pout) Tan pi !
Google: Go Plus One ! Go !
Lloyd: (narrating) With all of us working together, we were able to subdue the Ice Clan until the police came and took the Frigid Four to be prosecuted. Granted, they were put in solitary for quite a while and our villains did get out for good behavior. I couldn't believe it but something told me someday we might need their help again. Just not today.
(Scene shift)
Scene 4--Not So Cold As Ice
(An instrumental, jazzy version of 'Cold As Ice' plays)
Nina: (coming to bail him out)
Ice Man: (totally shocked) Nina ? What brings you here ?
Nina: I was thinking of giving you a second chance. I mean, you might be a bit intense and extreme, but deep inside I know you have a gentle heart. If you're willing to change, I'll be willing to bail all of you out.
Ice Man: How can you though, you can't possibly have that much money.
Nina: I am one of the richest people alive. I give most of my money to charity. I like to help where I am needed by teaching people skills that can make them independent. If you will allow me, I can help you and your family.
Ice Man: You'd do that ?
Nina: I still love you. I can't give up on what we have. I'm willing to give you a second chance.
Ice Man: (is almost too stunned to speak for a moment) I always thought you were too good for me. (sings) She's so high, so high above me, she's so lovely...
Nina: (laughs) Always the romantic charmer. That part of you has never changed.
Ice Man: It comes from my heart. I do want to become better, for you, for me, for my family. (offers hand through glass) Let's make a deal, Nina.
Nina: Done.
Lloyd: (narrating) And in a snap of a finger, Ice Man began to become reformed, which none of us saw coming whatsoever. Despite the fact that the Frigid Four are released and reforming themselves. As for our regular villains it's a tricky situation. We're not certain if they've truly repented or if they'll return to their usual tricks. One thing is for certain, though.
Waffle: Wherever there's evil...
Disco: Whevever there's trouble...
Murphy: Count on the Coalition to put a stop to it !
Narco: We'll always be there.
Together: Super Hero Colation !
(They head into battle to a musical version of 'The Final Countdown' and are shown facing off a new band of villains. After that clip, we see the Mayor and his family enjoying their lives together and dancing to 'Get On Up and Dance' followed by 'Thank You For Letting Me Be Myself'. Gaffs and bloopers air, followed by behind the scenes looks and our cast being spontaenous I can imagine. To everyone who gave me the muse to write this grand piece, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. This would not have come into existence had it not been for you. And someday, yes, (singing) I'm gonna be a producer. I guarantee you that.)
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