My Irritating Acquaintence

Synopsis:  A semi-autobiography about my frustrations and lessons learned from dad’s friend at work, who is still desperately trying to woo me.  Manthers do exist !

     ‘Careful not to anger me.  I’m a writer, you might end as a villain I mercilessly slaughter.’—Anonymous

Chapter 1—Beginning of a Nightmare

     When I used to work at DNR during the summer before college, dad introduced me to a friend of his.  I didn’t know at the time that this particular man was affected and had tons of idiosyncrasies.  He didn’t really have any friends and I think it was dad’s bleeding heart mentality that decided, ‘Whelp, I’d better befriend him.  Do my Christian duty’.   Admirable as that is and was, it ended haunting us later on in life with dad’s declining health (which I personally think is improving).   However, I do think that we were all brought together for a reason.   We’ve been learning how not to treat others thanks to his example.  

Chapter 2—Friendship Can’t Be Bought

     From the beginning, this man believed that I could be wooed through money.  Sure, he took me to lots of musicals, which I enjoyed but I knew he was simply trying to court me the best and only way he knew how.  As far as I was aware, I was probably the only woman willing to let Mr. Mentally Unstable and echolaliac get close to me.  In his warped mind, I think he believed and probably still believes that I will marry him someday.   He often says that ‘given the course of nature and due time’, it’ll happen.  It’s akin to his other methods of self-calming.  He often says ‘take a break’ when he has nothing else to say, as a fall back.  He also talks about a campaign trail, which is his own little fantasy world he could never envision.   He goes about in the same routine, eating the same food, doing the same things and bragging about driving a race car even though he worked in fire and building safety for years.   He has a master’s degree and talks down to everyone else, presuming to be the most intellectual mind in the room.   I’m sorry, but that’s not how you win friends and influence people.  I’m surprised that he still sees his ‘friends’ from engineering school.   At least there are some people he can talk to but he lives the life of a bachelor.   We’ve tried to get him to see someone about his penchant to fall asleep during the middle of the day.  We think that perhaps he has sleep apnea (which unchecked can be fatal) but he ignores us.  Anything that contradicts his system of control and the comfort of routine he tends to stop his ears.  He’ll repeat himself constantly and tell the same stories over and over.   I understand this because I have been through it myself.   It is not living, it is existing.  It’s horribly sad, honestly, but it’s all he understands and what he’s comfortable with. 

     As far as the bribery goes, he does so out of the goodness of his heart, but at its core, it is nothing short of blackmail.   He feels like dad is soon to kick the bucket.  Not anytime soon as far as I am aware.   He is a Christian man at heart.   Of course, he has flaws, just like any of us.  Albeit, I understand what the Universe is teaching us through him.  All he wants is to be acknowledged, someone to talk to him.  Though, in recent weeks he over-stepped his authority in accordance to all of us.   He wasn’t listening to reason and he wanted to keep giving us the same old dinner, which we were getting tired of.   So, dad finally put his foot down. 

Chapter 3—Boundaries   

     He (the acquaintance) wasn’t too pleased when I told him I was going out on a date.  Subsequently, the man I was dating was a bit immature but we’re still on exceptional speaking terms.   I am certain he will find someone down the line in his life that will be perfect for him.  I just happened to come along when my heart was feeling lonesome.  I realize now my heart was never alone and it never will be.  It’s always surrounded by love of varying degrees.  This is what the acquaintance longs for and I feel in a small way, that our conversations on the phone give him what he’s always longed for.  His own family is very dysfunctional and has more problems blended together than any I have ever come across.  His one means of escape is race car driving.   Sure, he has a Formula Ford in his garage but I don’t know if he has ever driven it.  He has a picture of him in his racing suit on the track but that’s just it, that’s a picture.  It doesn’t prove reality.  Just like Magritte’s infamous ‘cest ne pa une pipe’.   It is not really a pipe, it’s merely an illustration, representing the artists’ rendition of his reality.  This comes from Platonic reasoning; a concept I have known of but can fully comprehend it.   Who knows, he may be actually telling the truth, but as far as I am aware, he merely keeps a racecar and doesn’t actually drive it.  

     Boundaries are important and sometimes you have to be assertive with your authority.  Etiquette was never something my acquaintance understood and even though I’ve taught him on many occasions.  He prefers his own ways.  Again, obsessive compulsive, control freak.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but life is random and spontaneous.  One may think that they can control it to a certain degree, but actually, it happens of its own accord and simply is.    I don’t hold this against him and I wonder what will happen now since dad decided to be resolute.  He has his own family crises and we are fine handling issues ourselves.  That is how it should be, no blackmail or bribery involved. 

Epilogue

     The story isn’t over as of yet.   Our acquaintance keeps his distance and hasn’t interfered with our lives from the time my dad decided to put his foot down.  He hasn’t even called us, but we feel it necessary to continue to pray for him.  I hope that he’s doing alright, especially with all the terrible things that happened to him.  He lost his mom and dad due to old age.  His brother is dealing with a horrible loss no parent should ever go through.  I feel what he’s doing for his brother is admirable.   Whatever happens, I wish and pray all the best things for him.   Somehow I feel with everything that has happened, good or bad, will make sense on the other side when all is said and done, and at least we gave him the one thing every human being desires, friendship and a listening ear even when it’s difficult to be tolerant of such an abrasive and rude personality.