Tough Act to Follow

Synopsis: Ever since Erin Potter was young she's been tomboyish and done things her way. She has a gerbil named Hamilton who speaks to her in Liam Neeson's voice. She is the only one that can hear him, too.

~*~CAST~*~

Erin Potter:

Hailey Potter: (her mom)

Richard Potter: (her dad)

Hamilton:

Daniel 'Danny' Marin: (Erin's bff)

David 'Dave' Marin: (his younger brother)

Candance 'Candy' Marin: (his mom)

William 'Will' Marin: (his dad)

Holly Kyle: (Erin's bff)

Gladys Hill: (Erin's bff)

Mrs. Guadalupe Gonzales:

Vivica Gonzales: (a spoiled little brat, Lupe's daughter)

Rodrigo Gonzales: (her dad, sets Vivica straight later)

Scene 1—A Typical Day in the Potter Home

Hailey: Erin ! I've got lunch ready ! The bus is coming !

Erin: Hey, Hamilton ! Be good, ok ? Don't do anything crazy. If you go on an adventure while I'm gone, at least tell me all about it later, ok ?

Hamilton: You know I always do, Erin. We hamsters, we're always up to all sorts of crazy shenanigans. I go to meet my hamster hoods in the club later today.

Erin: Ooh, to hang out with that foxy mama, Eleanor.

Hamilton: You know me all too well, Erin-chan. Oh, sayonara, okari, ey ?

Erin: Hai, hai. (she rushes downstairs to get her lunch from her mom and she kisses her and her dad goodbye) Have a good day at work, ok ?

Richard: Sure will, sweetie. Maybe papa will bring home something special tonight.

Erin: (jumps up and down) I hope you do, and I know it'll be something sugary !

Richard: Just like you, gumdrop !

Hailey: Be careful, ok ? Don't let bullies get you down, they're just small minded.

Erin: Right, and treat others the way I want to be treated. I know the golden rule, mama.

I love you. (kisses them both again)

Hailey/Richard: We love you too ! (She boards the bus, and starts singing 'Wheels of the Bus' with the other kids)

Richard: Ah, Hailey. She's growing up so quickly.

Hailey: I know, Rich. She's turning out to be quite the tough cookie though. Wouldn't want it any other way.

(Scene quickly shifts to Erin at school with her friends. Vivica, the classroom's 'mascot' and 'teacher's pet' quickly sits up front and derisively laughs at Erin's clothes.)

Vivica: Who chooses your outfits ? Your mama ?

Erin: I'll have you know I can dress myself, Vivica. Don't think I am not aware of your little schemes, either. You may be your mother's daughter, but you can be a real jerk.

Vivica: Madre can't do anything. She's not a disciplinarian like padre. Padre's away on a business trip. So...(chewing gum) I can do anything...(blows bubble, and it pops) I like.

(Takes gum out and sticks it in Erin's hair) Not much of an improvement, but props for trying, Potter.

Holly: Ugh, did Vivica stick gum in your hair again, dear ?

Erin; Yeah. She's always up to her old hectorish tricks. (yanks it out and a clump of hair goes with it) I've come prepared. Ah HA ! (yanks out hat, which is camouflage print and matches her outfit) Erin one. Vivica. Zero.

Vivica: (pouts and harrumphs) You still look like a hick, Potter.

Gladys: Oh stuff your taco muncher.

Vivica: That's racist, Gladys.

(class snaps to attention when Guadalupe comes in)

Guadalupe: Good morning, class !

Classroom: Good morning, Mrs. Gonzales.

Guadalupe: It's such a beautiful day today. First day of spring and we can finally go outside and enjoy the fresh air for once. Alright, class. We'll be discussing the classics today.

(Time passes and then the bell rings)

Holly: Recess !

Gladys: Last one in the playground's a rotten egg !

Erin: Ha ! Beat ya !

Danny: She always beats you girls. I still can't figure out why you're quicker than everyone else here, even the guys and me. Hey, Gladys, Holly ! Wanna play dungeons and dragons with us ?

Holly: Nah, we're gonna play hopscotch and double dutch.

Danny: Suit yourselves.

Vivica: (comes over and takes Danny's dungeon master plan from him) What's this ?

Danny: Vivica, hey ! Give that back !

Vivica: Or what ? Send Dave to chase me off ? I'm not afraid of you guys. (she begins to rip the plan) This is so lame.

Danny: (almost gets up and slugs her but restrains himself) I'm not supposed to hit girls.

Dave: Dude, that's our last one. You can't just let her do that.

Danny: You don't hit girls either.

Dave: (sigh) Dang it. Me and my chivalry.

Erin: (Steps up to Vivica) Put that guidebook down.

Vivica: (derisive laugh) Or what ? (continues to rip the guidebook)

Erin: I didn't want to have to do this) (Pushes her and she falls into a puddle)

Vivica: How dare you ! You messed up my perfect outfit !

Erin: Mud suits you, Vivica !

(The theme from Sivaji plays in the background as she grabs the guidebook and fishes scotch tape from her fanny pack, fixing it and handing it back to her friends.)

Danny: Nice ! Can't even tell it was ripped !

Dave: You rock !

Erin: You'd do the same for me, guys.

Vivica: (getting up) Turnabout's fair play, Potter. (smears her face with mud)

Erin: (laughs) Classy. Real classy.

Vivica: Maybe I should start calling you Miss Piggy. That mud's a vast improvement over your gauche ensemble.

Erin: Sticks and stones. You're just a sad little brat who has no friends. If you keep bullying people, you never will.

Vivica: SHUT UP ! (rushes at her and starts hitting her)

Erin: (Fights back and gives her quite the uppercut, sending Vivica back into the mud puddle)

Dave: That was awesome !

Gladys: Scary too ! I didn't know you could hit.

Erin: Normally I wouldn't, but I had to stand up for myself.

Holly: You kicked major butt !

Vivica: (crying, running to her mom) Mama, Erin hit me !

Guadalupe: I see what happened, and young lady, you have a lot of explaining to do.

Vivica: Why are you taking her side !

Guadalupe: Your father is coming home. We're all going to have a bit of a chat. This acting up has to stop.

Vivica: But mama...

Guadalupe; But NOTHING young lady. Apologize.

Vivica: To that fashion disaster ? Why should I ?

Guadalupe: (smacks her) Don't you be giving me any mouth, girl. Apologize !

Vivica: (is shocked that her mom just slapped her, trying not to cry, not just yet) I'm s...s...sor...SORRY. K ? God. Happy ?

Guadalupe: Positively ecstatic. But you, me, dad, we all need to talk.

Dave: What you did was really brave !

Danny: I didn't know girls could hit like that. Remind me not to make you mad !

(They're all congratulating her, and she comes home. Immediately her parents freak out.)

Hailey: How did this happen ?

Erin: Ma, she attacked me. I had to do something. I don't take those karate classes for nothing. I'm one step away from becoming a brown belt. If I work really hard, I can become a black belt. I can almost envision how it's going to look around my waist.

Richard: Normally I wouldn't condone such behavior, but you did the right thing. Go on, now, get washed up. We'll get dinner ready.

(Scene shift, change. Erin's in camouflage pajamas, talking to Hamilton.)

Scene 2—Bragging Rights

Hamilton: You really did give that little snot what for, didn't you ?

Erin: My knuckles don't even hurt. I don't even think I got scratched.

Hamilton: (has a crick in his back)

Erin: Did you party too hard with Eleanor last night ?

Hamilton: Yeah. I am getting too old for this stuff !

Erin: (laughs) So long as you had fun, Hammy.

Hamilton: Oh I did. And gol-darn it, I'm going to again tonight.

Richard: Dinner's ready, Erin.

Erin: (Rushes downstairs) Mmmm, meatloaf. My favorite. How did you know ?

Hailey: We figured you needed a hearty meal after a rough day.

Richard: (hugging her and messing up her hair) Hey, there, squirt !

Erin: Dad, quit it ! You're dorking up my 'do !

Richard: Your 'do was and never shall be dorky. It's just wet and easy to style, and I can't help myself sometimes.

Erin: (he tickles her and styles her hair in different fashions) Mohawk ! Aw, yeah. Just like in Fury Road !

Hailey: (laughing heartily) Maybe those movies are a bit of a bad influence on you.

Erin: Nah, I love action/adventure flicks.

Hailey: We're sorry about what happened today.

Erin: Viv apologized. I doubt she'll be bothering me again. Besides, her dad is coming home from his business trip.

Richard: That's all well and good, but there's something we wanted to talk to you about.

Hailey: It's about Hamilton.

Erin: What about him ? He's the best, most awesomest hamster in the known galaxy.

Hailey: We know, but we hear you talking to him all the time.

Erin: That's because he's fluent in many different languages. Human speech just happens to come easy to him.

Richard: (clears throat) Darling. Honey. Baby. Hamsters can't talk.

Erin: Yes, they can. Come on, Hamilton will prove it.

(They exhale in exasperation but go along with her anyway to her room)

Hamilton: I was ready to go to sleep. What is this ? A family meeting ?

Richard: All I hear is squeaking.

Erin: (sigh) I guess I'm the only one that can hear him.

Hailey: It's just your imagination, hon.

Erin: Maybe so, but I'm 11. Double digits. Don't kids that grow older become more tainted and jaded by society ?

Richard: (stifles a laugh) That's rather morbid.

Hailey: Not necessarily. Still, you know that hamsters are incapable of human speech.

Hamilton: Those morons. They know better !

Erin: Hammy, I won't have you dissing my parents while they're in earshot. Shame on you.

Hamilton: They insulted you !

Erin: No. They didn't. Just speak to them with more respect.

Hamilton: Forgive me. I just...overreacted. I got a little heated, made my fur start to singe.

Hailey; I don't know what's going on, but I assume all is well now ?

Erin: Ah, yes. Better than ever.

Richard: Well then, I think it's time for someone to be headed to bed.

Erin: I was thinking I'd have a sleepover soon. I'm close to turning 12.

(Richard and Hailey have a family huddle, discussing the pros and cons out of earshot. Erin waits patiently, tapping her foot. The 'Thinking' melody from Jeopardy plays in the background.)

Hailey: Your father and I have come to an agreement. We'll allow it.

Erin: Yes !

(She starts doing a happy dance to her own theme song. Scene fade, shift to her 12^th birthday party, even Vivica has been invited. She's starting to soften a bit.)

Scene 3—An Enemy Becomes a Friend

Viv: (a bit stiffly, with some reluctance) I bought a gift, like everyone else.

Erin: I wanted to make amends. I didn't mean to slug you that hard.

Viv: (laughs) Water under the bridge. What you did was really incredible. Where did you learn how to fight like that ?

Erin: I take karate lessons. Why ? Do you want to learn ?

Viv: After being on the receiving end of your right hook, you bet.

Erin: (opens her present) How did you know I needed a hat ? And camouflage too !

You're the best.

Viv: Yeah, well...don't say I never got you anything. (she mock punches her in the arm)

(They laugh)

('Get This Party Started' plays in the background. All the attendees are having a blast in a bouncy house and come back out for cake and ice cream.)

Holly: Great party, Erin !

Gladys: Yeah, the bounce house was a tremendous touch !

Dan: The pizza's primo.

Erin: (narrating) Before I knew it, Viv and I had become friends. The past was all water under the bridge. I had turned 12 and I was one year closer to entering the most awkward years of my life. I knew I'd take them in stride though. I'd still take ballet wearing camouflage leotards and tutus. Karate was my real passion, and I vowed I'd never like boys but Dan was starting to seem cuter. I suppose childlike ways start to wane in time, but I can't even imagine my existence any better than what it is now. Hamilton is probably watching me, dancing to his own beat. I hope I can hear him even until my 20s. Man, that seems so far away. And so old ! (laughs) Forget that, all I want to do is pig out on this junk food !

(We see Erin and her friends having a heck of a time. They end their day by watching Moana on DVD and laughing, singing and collapsing after a massive sugar rush. 'Can't Stop the Feeling' plays followed by 'Every Day I'm Shuffling' and 'Boogie Nights'. Bloopers are shown as well as photos of Erin rocking a tutu in ballet class looking like a rebel with shades. We notice her playing video games with the guys and arm wrestling them, watching hockey, monster truck ralleys and wrestling. That whole transition with Dan seems to be occurring too, but we couldn't be more happy for her. She's becoming more of a lady. Hamilton even says 'Peace Out' at the end, flashing a peace sign. True inspiration came for this one thanks to my beloved TTR. This is as much his creation as it is mine.)