Duplicates

Synopsis:   So called ‘mad’ scientist Dr. Ivan Bukowski creates duplicates of himself to help him around the lab.   They explode once they’ve met their purpose.  One, named Idris, falls for Ivan’s love interest, Medina, but she only has eyes for Ivan.  Heartbroken, Idris wishes to kill himself since his built in termination switch is not working.   Ivan disallows it and sets him up with a friend of Medina’s named Adriane. 

~*~CAST~*~

Dr. Ivan Bukowski: 

Dr. Eugene Bukowski: (his dad)  

Duplicate #1:
Duplicate #2:

Duplicate #3:

Duplicate #4:

Duplicate #5:

Duplicate #6:

Idris: 

Dr. Gerald Zhang:  (Ivan’s best friend) 

Zhang Duplicate:  

Dr. Cho Zhang: (Gerry’s dad) 

Dr. Mai Zhang: (Gerry’s mom) 

Dr. Medina Cabral: 

Carol Cabral: (her mom) 

Dr. Adrienne Cabral: (her dad)

Dr. Adriane Angelis: (Medina’s best friend) 

Dr. Hermes Angelis: (Adriane’s dad) 

Scene 1—Think of the Ethical Implications

(Janaek’s Simphonie is playing in the background while Ivan works determinedly to complete his most controversial experiment ever.) 

Medina:  Why, hello Ivan.  Fancy seeing you here so early today.   You usually don’t come to the lab until 8:00 !

Ivan:  (light hearted chortle)  I realize that, but my experiment is nearly complete. 

Medina:  You built a life-sized scanner ?  It’s just like something out of a Phillip K. Dick novel.

Ivan: That’s the point, my darling.  I go in, duplicates come out. I built in a fail-safe to them as well.  Soon as they’ve completed their purpose, what they were designed for, POOF !  And they feel no pain.

Medina:  (somewhat quizzical and disgusted expression)  Is that even ethical ?

Ivan:  Medina, my dear.  It’s me.   I don’t think I would mind.  I’m advancing science.  This has been attempted so many times.  How many moments have you wanted to bilocate or have the ability to complete a task but there you are, uniquely, unable to get the job done ?

Medina:  (stifles a laugh)  You truly are insane, but I adore that about you.  So, when are you firing up this ‘copier’ of yours ?

Ivan:  I actually wanted to do it now. 

Medina:  Should I kiss you for luck ?

Ivan:  Oh, I pray that you should, my photon. 

Medina:  I love it when you call me that.

Ivan: How can I not ?  You light up any dark space.  

Medina: (stands up on her tiptoes to kiss him)  Mazel tov, my darling.

Ivan:  I have years of research on my side.  Luck has nothing to do with this. The sentiment though, gives me confidence. 

(He steps inside the chamber.)

Ivan:  Medina, throw the switch !  (giggles) I’ve always wanted to say that.

Medina:  Yes, Ivan.  

(About 7 different duplicates come forward and he gives them chores.  They all go about tremendously well, except one, who decides to give himself a name.) 

Idris:  I’ve done what I came to do.   What went wrong ?  

Ivan:  Duplicate #7, why are you not poofing ?

Idris:  I don’t know, but I’m called Idris.  I have a name. 

Medina: (looking at him)  Well this is a fine pickle you’ve gotten yourself into. 

Idris: (immediately entranced)  I’ll say.  Who is this vision ? 

Ivan:  Idris, this is Medina, my partner and the love of my life.  May I speak with you privately ? 

Idris:   What is it ?

Ivan:  (inhales and exhales deeply)  I know this is about to sound cruel and inhumane but you were designed with a termination switch.  A sort of expiration date. 

Idris:  (gasps) How terrible.  You abhorrent brute !  No offense. I mean that in the kindest way possible.  I mean, I am made out of your DNA, so I feel like I’m insulting myself.  (he laughs, a bit too loudly)

Ivan:  This is unusual for myself too.  

Medina:  Might I interject ? 

Ivan:  Certainly, beloved.  

Medina:  So as this sweet, innocent thing doesn’t do anything foolish, I will introduce him to my best friend.  In fact, she’ll be around continuing her research on self-healing components of the brain. 

Idris:  She sounds fascinating. 

Medina:   She is.  Quite possibly the smartest woman in the room.   

Idris: I wouldn’t doubt it.  Oh, will you be having more duplicates help in your process, Doctor ?

Ivan:  Yes.  They’ve all met their purpose and will again.  I will be submitting my research to the journal tomorrow.  I will be posting a sign up sheet for those interested in having a helper around the lab.  

Medina:  You know I support you, even though I think the whole idea is ill advised.  

Ivan:  Sometimes it’s a controversial idea that shakes the foundation of convention, my love. 

Medina: (hugging him gently)  I know, but I wonder at what cost.   Just be careful.   After all, Idris came out of this.  

Ivan:  I’m not my brother’s keeper.  He’s his own man.

Idris: (objectively, but amused)  I heard that !   However, I concur. 

(They laugh.  ‘Some time later’ appears on the screen.) 

Idris:  (making certain everything is in its place)   So, when do I get to meet this mystery woman ?

Medina:  She’s on her way.  She makes certain everything in the lab is sterile before closing it up for the day. 

Adriane:   Hey, Medina !  How was everything today ?  I just came from the hospital.  I’m still on call, as you well know. 

Medina;  I’m surprised you ever get any sleep, Adri.  

Adri:  My circadian rhythm has adjusted to my crazy schedule.   So, this is Idris ?

Medina:  That it is.  I’ll leave you two alone, then. 

Idris:  Hi, Adriane.  I’m sure Medi has filled you in about me.
Adri:  It must be so surreal being you.

Idris:  I…try not to think of it too much.  As far as I am concerned, I’m an individual.  What do you do in the hospital ?  

Adri:  I’m a neurologist.   My work is always evolving.   I’m hoping my innovative theses will be published someday.  I’m doing work on the correspondence between the mind and the heart. 

Idris:  Neurocardiology.  That’s a growing field, isn’t it ?  Must be fascinating.

Adri:  It is, and the two are linked.  Science never thought of this before.  It may even be more connected than we ever knew before. 

Idris:  Let me help you clean up.  After, would you like to go somewhere to eat ?

Adri:  We just met and you want to take me out ?  Oh my, how bold.

Idris:  I can’t allow a perfect opportunity to slip out of my hands ! 

(They laugh) 

Adri:  You are delightful. 

Idris:  You are delectable.    (chuckling)  I’m glad I can get to know you. 

Adri:  As am I, Idris.  As am I.

(Scene fade)

Scene 2—Who Needs a Sign Up Sheet When I Have Volunteers ?

(The Next Day appears on screen)

Idris:  (dancing to the remix of ‘All-Star’ and singing along to it, grooving with a lot of heart, soul and bounce in his step)

Ivan:  Someone’s awfully chipper this morning ! 

Idris:  (slides on over to Ivan’s side, and strikes a cool pose)  You betcha, daddio.

Ivan:  I wager you had a successful courtship ?

Idris:  Yes, and many more to follow.   Ivan, I think Adi’s the one. 

Ivan:  You’ve only seen her once and you make that assessment ?  So soon ?

Idris:  (hand over his heart)  In matters of the heart, sometimes the heart intrinsically knows better than what the mind can fully comprehend.

Ivan:  Dang, dude, that’s just…deep. 

Medina:  Good morning !   Adi told me about your evening.  You are truly a wonderful gentleman.   I think Ivan did well in getting me to introduce you two.

Idris:  And to think I wanted to terminate myself only seconds earlier that day.  How foolish of me. 

Medina:  Not that I understand what it’s like to be in your shoes, but yes, suicide is a very awful choice.  I’m just elated everything worked out so well.  

Idris:  (laughs in spite of himself, deeply)  You and me both.

(Whistling ‘Arabesque’ by Debussy)  

Gerald:  Ivan, old man !   Was wondering if I could be your guinea pig for your first human subject.  

Ivan:  Why, you’d be more than welcome.   (aside) Hopefully no more glitches will occur this time. 

Gerald:  What’s that ?  

Ivan:  (nervous laughter) Oh, nothing.  Nothing at all.  Just step inside this copier and be yourself.

Gerald:  10-4, Ivan. 

Idris:  (tosses switch without being told)  I know my role and not complaining, I don’t really mind.  (wink) 

Gerald:  Ahhh, anything happen ?

Gerald Dupe:  So, what cha want me to do ?

Gerald:  Waaaaaa !   Say, this duplicator really does work.  Like a full size copier. 

Ivan:  Indubitably.   (records findings)  (whispers to Gerald Prime) Let me know if he poofs after his trial run.

Gerald:  (nodding)  Yes, yes.  Of course.   See you around campi.   Xi jein. 

Medi:   That was fast.   I’m thinking word has gotten out around the academy. 

Idris:  No doubt !  (he chuckles)  Unless you need me for additional tidying up, I am going to explore, see the sites.  

Medi:  Be well.  

Idris:  I intend to.  

Medi:  (narrating)  What we failed to realize was the fact that word had gotten out a bit too quickly around campus and students had found out how to get into the lab without us realizing it.   There were dupes everywhere…And we were in quite the pickle. 

(Scene fade) 

Scene 3—Gather Your Dupes While Ye May

(Comes into the lab to help Ivan tidy up for the night.  He’s singing ‘The Burden of Being Me’ at the top of his lungs)

Ivan:  Why are you so happy ?  I’ve got dupes I know little to nothing on how to corral them and reverse the settings on the duplicator.  It’s the only way I know to be rid of them.  

Idris:  Today’s the day, Ivan.  I’m going to ask Adi to marry me. 

Ivan:  (impressed)  Goodness.  You two have only been dating a few months.

Idris:  I’d like to see you have the fortitude to ask Miss Cabral for her hand.  You guys have been courting for at least 7 years now.   You can’t keep a woman like that waiting. 

Ivan:  I would but you see, her parents are very austere.  They hold a lot of clout in the community and have a grandiose reputation.   I don’t even know if they like me ! 

Idris:  Now’s the time, Ivan.  You aren’t exactly getting any younger you know.

Ivan:  I can’t help it if I went gray early !   Fine.  I’ll take your little challenge. 
Gerald:   (walking by whistling merrily) 

Ivan:  (catches him by the collar)   Come ‘ere ! 

Gerald:  Aiee !   Hey, what was that for ?

Ivan:  I need your help.   You’re the stealthiest man on campus.  Think you can recruit your parents to assist us in gathering the dupes ?

Gerald:  They actually predicted this fiasco. 

Ivan: (face-palms)   Should have known.  

Idris:  (walking out)  You didn’t know the students would get a hold of your master key. 

Ivan:  (lamenting)  Had I been aware this never would’ve happened.

Gerry:  Everyone makes mistakes Ivan.  (pats his shoulder)  Even geniuses like you.   (calling up his parents)  My folks will be here quicker than rickshaw drivers.

Ivan:  (raised brow)  Isn’t that slightly racist ?

Gerry:  Not considering my forefathers, no.  

(They laugh)

Idris:  I’ll give you guys a hand.  The competition between us can wait.

Ivan:  Bless you Idris. 

(Gerry and his parents help round up the duplicates, Idris also does everything to corral them back into the duplicator, reversing the process.  Yackety Sacks plays in the background and a typical cartoon ‘door sequence’ used in so many Loony Toons classics is played out in comedic form.) 

Cho:  Last one, Ivan ! 

Mai:  Flip the switch !   Flip it now, I can’t hold them for long !

Idris: (flips the switch and a ‘poofing’ sound is heard, in Polish)  Thank goodness that’s over.  

Gerry:   Thanks mom, pop.  You can go back to work now. 

Cho:  (saluting proudly)  Sure thing, son.  Always good to work with my favorite and only boy. 

Gerry:  Aw, pop.  (chuckles)

Mai:  See you later, son !  (waves as they depart)

Idris:  (looks Idris straight in the eyes)  Ok, old man.  Game on.  (rushes out of the lab) 

Ivan:  Wait.  Wait just a darned minute.  I wasn’t ready. 

(scene shift)

Scene 4—Idris Pours Out His Heart

Adi:  (coming in to the lab) 

Idris:  (grasps her hand)  Come quick, Adi.  I have a question for you. 

Adi:  (tittering)  Alright, Idris.  Lead the way, darling. 

Idris: (takes her to the park where they met)  Remember this spot ?  We shared our first kiss here.

Adi:  To think you recall even the smallest details. 

Idris:  I have an eidetic memory when it comes to everything about you.  I want to remember long into our golden years.  Which is why I wanted to ask you (kneeling down)  would you be my lab partner ?

Adi:  (squealing, hugging him tightly)  Indubitably. 

Madi: (narrating)  By default and age, Idris won the contest.  At least that was what Ivan said, but he asked me the same question and it won my heart.  I had been waiting longer but it had been worth all my patience and persistence.  Ivan, myself, Adi and Idris were all married on the same day, donning our lab coats to defy convention.   It was glorious.   Ivan later got praised for his work and received a Nobel even though many ethics advocates found it ‘playing God’ albeit the duplicates were never really fully implemented to their full potential.   The experiment came to an end and the duplicator was dismantled for something more productive; the creation of robot sentinels that watched over the house while the owner was gone.  They were far more successful than the duplicator had ever been.   The whole kerfuffle that had occurred had been forgotten.  Our lives were far easier now and we were more than elated to help solve the world’s problems.   Yes, life was peachy and only getting rosier as we walked life’s road.   We didn’t know where the road would wend and bend, but eventually, we knew that our discoveries would make the world better in the end. 

(We see a montage parade by to the tune of ‘Weird Science’ and the credits roll out with ‘Blinded Me with Science’ and Washu’s ‘Photon/Proton’ as well as Melody Sheep’s ‘Onward to the Edge’ with bloopers and behind the scenes looks as well.  The creation of this particular script is due to the inspiration I had with my tenant about having multiple versions of yourself and how helpful, agitating or hampering that would be.  Also, ethical implications and moral high ground abounds, too.  It is something we are still toying with in this day and age.  It’ll be an interesting century to come, I can tell you that much !)