The Golden Typewriter

Synopsis:  Anthony Falcone is an inspiring writer and is doing well with his works until he has writer's block.   Wanting to find inspiration, he comes across a pawn shop and a golden typewriter that the pawnbroker claims to be magical.   It happens that the typewriter is possessed of a spirit--Clarence Horowitz, who was whacked by the mafia when he didn't cooperate to write about Don Marco Falcone's illustrious and notorious life of crime.   Tony is related to him but never knew him since his mother, Marie, gave him up for adoption without Marco finding out.   Only a relative of Don Marco can set Clark free.  All he has to do is write a bestselling novel. 

~*~CAST~*~

Anthony Falcone/Renault:

Marie Falcone: 

Leona Renault: (Tony's mom)

Walter Renault: (Tony's dad)

Trevor Bridgewater: (pawnbroker)

Eugenia 'Gina' Deroma: (Tony's love interest)

Clarence Horowitz: 

Janet Horowitz: (Clark's wife, deceased)

Samuel 'Sam' Horowitz: (Clark's son) 

Yvonne Horowitz: (Clark's daughter-in-law)

Isaac 'Zack' Horowitz: (Clark's grandson)

Susan 'Sue' Horowitz: (Clark's granddaughter)

Scene 1--Hitting a Brick Wall

Anthony:  (sitting at his computer, searching for inspiration. He tries again and again, and nothing comes to his mind)   Arrrghhhhhhhhhh !   This is useless ! 

Leona:  Tony, hon ?  What's wrong ?  

Walter:  Yeah, we can hear your agony all the way in the family room. 

Anthony:   (lowers his head, sadly, into his hand)  I've got writer's block. 

Leona:  (coming up to him, kneading his shoulders)  Oh, dear.  

Anthony:  (groaning, quite possibly a bit more dramatically than usual)  Nothing I do is worth bumpkis !   I just can't write anything today, no matter how hard I try. 

Walter:  Maybe you need to go out, clear your head for a bit. 

Leona:  (nodding)  Definitely.  Walking could do you some good.  

Anthony:  Both of you are right.   Besides, I need to get some new sheet music for the club later tonight.   Gina will be there.   (dreamily)  I always look forward to seeing her.  

Walter:  When are you going to actually start going steady with her ? 

Anthony:  We talk enough, dad.   I communicate through music to her all the time. 

Leona:  That's a good start, but you really need to talk to her using words, silly. 

Anthony:  I plan on trying tonight by actually dedicating 'She's Like the Wind' to her.  I'm a little anxious.  It's not like I ever really tried speaking to her.   I don't know why I'm so nervous around her.  

Leona:  All you can do is try, hon.   Just be yourself, put your best foot forward. 

Walter:  (places his hand on his shoulder)  We're rootin' for you, 110 percent. 

You go get 'er, Ton.  

Anthony:  (filled with confidence)  Thanks for the pep talk, mom and dad.   It couldn't have come at a better time.   (takes a deep breath and exhales with reassurance) 

Scene 2--Treasures Galore Pawn Shop

(As he walks, he starts whistling a jazzy version of 'Someone to Watch Over Me')

Anthony: (musing, looking up at the signs along the street)  Hmm.  Never notice that there before.  (Sees the typewriter from the window, gasps)  How glorious !

That might be exactly the grease I need to get these old cogs and wheels turning again.   A little archaic by today's standards, but there's something alluring about an old typewriter, especially one in such good condition as that one. 

(walks in and the doorbell rings) 

Trevor:  Welcome to Treasures Galore.   Anything I can help you with young man ?

Anthony:  (eagerly, reading his name tag)  Actually, there is, Trevor.   You know that golden typewriter sitting in your display window ? 

Trevor:  Oh, that ?  That one is incredibly, indelibly rare antique.   From what I have heard it is enchanted.  

Anthony:  (dubious, scoffs)  I highly doubt it.   How much do you want for it, Trevor ?

Trevor:  $1,000, take it or leave it. 

Anthony:   Seems affordable.    I’ll take it.   (rolls it across the floor)  Huh, not heavy at all, either.   Didn’t see that coming.   

Trevor:  I hate to see it go, though.   It was my rarest treasure.   Glad to see that you’ll be the one owning it though.   I can’t wait to tell everyone a famous author was in my shop !  Business will boom ! 

Anthony:  We dreamers have to help each other out, am I right ?

Trevor:  Mr. Renault, you are a jewel. 

Tony:  (pays him the full amount)  Pleasure doing business with ya. 

Trevor:  (amazed at how much money Tony has given him)  I’ll say !  

Tony:  (walks out, whistling ‘Blue Skies’, stops by the music shop and gets some sheet music and then wheels his new valuables home) 

Leona:  Is that a typewriter ? 

Walter:  It sure is a beaut ! 

Tony:  I know, and I only paid $1,000 for it.  I’m going to the club though.  I just stopped by to pick up Louis and Crooner. 

Walter:  (snickers)  Good to know I’m not the only one who names his instruments.  (pats his harmonica) Isn’t that right, Appalachia ?

Leona:  Oh, brother.  (They all laugh) 

Walter:  Don’t be out too late. 

Tony: (chortling)  Mom, dad, I’m not a child.  You know I can stick up for myself. 

Together:  We know. 

Walter:  We just worry, as parents are oft to do. 

Leona:  (hugging him)  We’ll watch over the typewriter while you’re gone. 

Walter:  Remember, son…

Tony:  I know, I know, ‘best foot forward !’   I can handle it !  

(Scene shift) 

Scene 3—Making A Move

Gina:  (she’s singing ‘Je Suis Cest Fumme’ and the crowd adores it, she begins another song, ‘Blue Angel’ and Tony joins in on his saxophone, she smiles and welcomes him during a musical break in the piece)  Ladies and gentlemen, the talented Anthony Renault.  

(Applause and whistling) 

(Soon the song comes to an end and Tony clears his throat)

Tony:  I’ve been waiting a long time to have the fortitude to do this, but I’m going to play my lovely girlfriend Gina a song.  

Gina:  (hand over her heart)  Oh, Ton, I didn’t know you cared !  (she laughs)  

Tony:  The song is an oldie but goodie, ‘She’s Like the Wind’.  (He even sings when it is required of him) 

(The audience approves once the song comes to an end, even Gina applauds and wipes some tears away from her misty eyes.)

Gina:  Tony, that was lovely.   I didn’t know you could sing, or that you felt that way about me. 

Tony:   Gina, it’s been years.  I had never had the courage to begin to tell you how I truly feel, so I thought, ‘what better way than through a song ?’

Gina:  (smiles and comes to kiss him, full on the lips)  I think that is evidence enough of how I feel about you. 

Tony:  (Dazed)  More than enough, doll.  

Gina:  Our last set of the night is a familiar song by one of our favorite artists, K.D. Lang. 

(She begins singing ‘Constant Craving’, joined in effortlessly and avidly by Tony.  They begin to close for the evening and shoo the last barfly out for the night.)

Gina:  We need to spend a lot more time together.  You know, outside of The Blue Note Café. 

Tony:  (nodding)  I couldn’t agree more.   You know I’m always available.  Call me whenever you want.  

Gina:  I will.  I know work outside the café has kept me occupied, but now since I have some vacation days to myself, I am thinking I should spend them with you.

Tony:  You’re too thoughtful.   Mom and dad were right, you truly are a catch, and I am never letting you go, ever again. (he dips her down for a long, romantic kiss)

Gina:  (lustfully) I like this newer version of you.  So much more romantic. 

Tony:  It’s because you bring out the best in me, doll.   Goodnight, and see you later, my love. 

Gina:  Goodbye, sweetheart.  (sings ‘Goodnight Sweetheart’ as she saunters out of the club with a bounce in her step) 

Tony:  (singing as he walks away in a very cool and jazzy way ‘Til There Was You’, and walks inside, seeing that his parents are asleep and tones it down until he turns off the light and heads to bed himself) 

(Scene fade) 

Scene 4—Plot Twist ! 

Tony:  (Cracks his fingers after waking up and rising early in the morning)  Alright, let’s see what you can do, you glorious piece of antiquity !  

(Typewriter starts up without any trouble, but a spirit emerges from it, nearly scaring Tony half to death.  He hides behind a couch, shivering.)

Clark:  (popping neck slowly from side to side and stretching out his arms)  That was a pleasant nap.  (pregnant pause) Who woke me ?  Hello ?  Anyone there ?

Tony:  (meekly) No one here but us cowards ! 

Clark:  (floating through the couch)  Nice try.

Tony:  (shrieks, but doesn’t wake his parents)  How can it be that you’re attached to the typewriter ?   Trevor said it was ‘magical’, nothing about it being possessed. 

Clark:  Pawnbrokers will say anything to make a sale.  (pats his shoulder but of course, passes right through him)  How pathetic.  I can’t even touch anything solid anymore.  Well, I am dead.  Should be used to that by now. 

Tony:  (still in dread, he comes out of hiding and sits down, perplexed and flummoxed)

Clark:  I know, it’s a bit too much to take in. 

Tony:  Firstly, who are you ? 

Clark:  Clarence Horowitz.   How do you do ?

Tony:  Scared out of my wits, thank you very much !   (whimpers) 

Clark:  There’s no real reason to be.   If I tell you my story maybe you’ll feel a little less intimidated about me.   (breathes in, exhales)  Ok.  It was a long time ago and I was young.  A writer, much like yourself.  I had the world on a string, writing best sellers and was sought after by many publishers.   I had it made in the shade.   One day I was approached by the notorious mob boss Don Marco Falcone. 

(All while Clark is telling his sordid tale, we see a flashback of his untimely demise.) 

Tony:  Falcone ?  He was quite brutal, wasn’t he ?

Clark:  Brutal doesn’t even begin to describe this despot of a man.   Marco befriended me out of the blue at his favorite Italian joint one day.  He recognized me, called me over and we were instantly copacetic.   I played my clarinet, Janet for him to entertain him and wrote non-stop while he showered me with multitudinous gifts.   Then, we hit a snag in our relationship.   He wanted me to write a book concerning all of his infernal acts, all of the salacious deeds he had done.   I wasn’t about to make this criminal look good, and I told the Don up front I wasn’t going to go against my moral compass.  His face became ashen, and his eyebrows knotted.   I had seen that look many times before and I knew my days were numbered.   He gave me one last chance to think about my defiance, and I simply stated, ‘No.  I won’t’.  It was the last statement I ever made.  He picked up a small Beretta, cocked it, aimed it, point blank at my skull and BANG !  He also put me under a dark incantation.   My spirit was to be anchored to the very typewriter you just purchased.   I can only be freed by the ancestor of a Falcone.  

Tony:  (winces) Damn.   I’m so sorry that happened. 

Clark:  I never got to see my beautiful Janet ever again, or my children.  I don’t even know if I have grandchildren now. 

Tony:  I don’t know why the name Falcone is ringing bells in my mind.   The last time I heard that name, I looked at my birth certificate and it was smudged out.  (he has an ephiphany and gasps)  It’s not possible. 

Clark: What is it ?   You’ve realized something, I know it ! 

Tony:  I always knew mom and dad were trying to keep something from me but I didn’t come to grips with it until now !   I’m Marco’s son !  

Clark:  That’s impossible though.   He never spoke of having any sons ! 

Tony:  Not that he knew of anyway.   I have a very vague memory from my birth but its hazy. 

(flashback) 

Tony:  I smelled olive oil, fresh laundry detergent and light rose cologne.   Ah, yes.  My mom had me wrapped up in a blanket.   I was being (tries not to get overcome) left somewhere.  

Clark:   Sounds like you and I both had tragic pasts we don’t like remembering.  Yours though, happened when you were just a boy chick.   So sad.  

Tony:  (sigh)  I don’t know if I can ever free you from your prison, though. 

Clark:  You’re one of the best authors I know of.  You’re even well recognized in limbo !

That’s how famous you are !

Tony:  (chuckles, but derisively)  I suppose that should reassure me.   I haven’t written anything in so long, though.  

Clark:  Give it time.  I know what would make you feel better though.  (He begins to play the beginning lines of ‘Harlem Lullaby’ and Tony joins in.)

Tony:  I can see why you were so favored.  Your melodies are so smooth.  

Clark:  You aren’t half bad yourself.  I see you have a sax too.   Quite the talent.

Tony:  (huge smile)  Thanks.  You know, coming from you it actually makes me feel happier.  (struck by a novel thought)  I think I might have inspiration for my novel now.

Clark:  Excellent !    You get to writing.  I won’t bother you. 

Tony:  You’re not bothering me in the least.   In fact, you’re part of my inspiration.

Clark:  (laughs)  You’re too kind, really.  

Tony:  (narrating)  It was a very unusual, odd relationship.   Mom and dad could even see Clark but didn’t think the friendship we had was weird.   I was hopeful I would never have to tell Gina about him since we had started going steady.   She would probably have me committed to the nearest asylum and I couldn’t risk that.  (chortles)  So far though, matters were really starting to work out, but it would take me a while to write my latest best seller.   Fortunately, Clark had all the time in the world and he was a patient soul. 

(While Tony writes, ‘The Typewriter’ plays in the background, but it is a more ‘modern’ version of the piece.)  

(Scene fade) 

Scene 4—Growing Closer Together

Tony:  (is playing a rather upbeat song on his trumpet) 

Clark:  That sounds smooth, son.   What’cha call it ?

Tony:  Duets with a Ghost. 

Clark:  (chuckles)  I like it, Ton.  How’s the novel coming ?

Tony:  (beaming)  It’s going great guns.   I decided to write about something I’m passionate about, which would be the healing power of music.   Where writing failed me, music saved me completely.  

Clark:  Ain’t it the truth though.   I can help you edit that as soon as it’s complete.

Tony:  It might take a few more weeks at best.  When I sit down the words simply flow. 

(looks at his watch)  Oh, crap !   I have a date with Gina tonight.  I almost forgot.  I look like a complete wreck.  

Clark:  Nothing a little tidying up won’t fix.  

(He freshens up, says his goodbyes and leaves his manuscript ‘Music of the Heart’ on his desk, which Clark sits down to read with immense interest.  He comes to pick up Gina, who hasn’t been waiting long.)

Gina:  You’re right on time.  Where are we going tonight ?

Tony:  Lady’s request.  

Gina:  Japanese food !   I’m craving sushi. 

Tony:  Japanese cuisine it is then.  

(They come to a Japanese place, ‘Forevermore’ from Tenchi Muyo is being played over the PA in its original Japanese.  They order their meal, enjoy the show from the chef at the hibachi and eat, laughing together.) 

Gina:  How long has it been, you and I ?

Tony:  I don’t know, 9 months.  It only seems like yesterday.  

Gina:  How’s your book coming ?  I would love to read it before you get it published. 

Tony:  (chuckling)  I think  I have a few more weeks of working on it and it should be ready.  

Gina:  What about that ghost you keep telling me about.  I am not one to dismiss the supernatural, but I need empirical proof this specter exists. 

Tony:  You’d probably just want me locked up in the booby hatch !  

Gina:  (nearly has a paroxysm of laughter)  No !  I wouldn’t do that, not to my best friend and closest artistic conspirator.   

Tony:  I know you wouldn’t love, but I want you to tell no one else.   Besides you, mom and dad and the walls in my house, no one else knows.  I prefer it to stay that way. 

Gina:  You did base a character off him in your book though. 

Tony:  Touche.   You got me there, toots. 

Gina:  See, I know you all too well now.  Not too many things you can do that can surprise me.  

Tony:  (clears throat)  I was thinking maybe I could be a bit spontaneous and ask you something.  

Gina:   Ooh, that sounded serious.   So…ask away, Romeo. 

Tony:  It’s taking me every bit of fortitude not to faint or freak out.   (reaches into his pocket)  Eugenia Marie, will you marry me ? 
Gina:  I was wondering when you’d ever ask me that, Tony.   (holds his hands, expectantly) Yes, of course I will.   I’ve always loved you from the start. 

Tony: (leaning in to kiss her, slowly and longingly) 

Gina:  (dreamily)  Mmmm…more to come, I anticipate. 

Tony:  (wriggles eyebrows)  You don’t know the half of it, jujube. 

Marie:  (smiling with a small trace of a tear, just watching in the background) Good for you son.   I couldn’t be more proud of you than I am at this very moment.  

(Scene shift of the two of them dancing to ‘Heaven’ out of sheer jubilance and the scene fading into the background.  He comes home with a jaunty walk.)

Walter:  (Seeing Tony in a particularly merry mood)  Hey, you’re upbeat ! 

Tony:  (whistling ‘World on a String’) Nothin’ but blue skies, here, pop ! 

Leona:  (becoming invested)  You’ve got good news, I know it !  Dish, dish ! 

Tony:  I just asked Gina to marry me !  Can you believe it ?   All these months, it took me this long to get the guts to pop the question. 

Walter:  (coming over to noogie him and congratulate him)  I knew you could do it !

I couldn’t be happier for you ! 

Leona:  Good on ya, son.   (kissing him)

Tony:  Ma, stop !  You’re embarrassing me.

Leona:  A mom needs to be affectionate !  (chuckling)  I’m just overklempt at all this good news !  (getting a bit teary eyed)  Sorry, I just can’t help it !  My boy, my little boy.  He’s growing up to be quite the young man.  

Walter:  Leona, we all knew this day would come.  (pats her back) There, there. 

Clark:  (coming through the walls and freaking them all out)  So I hear the Tone-meister is gettin’ hitched !   Bully for you, son !  

Tony:  Yeah, and not only that but my manuscript is almost done.

Clark:  (nod)  I saw, and it is gold, if I do so say.  I have never seen anything like this written before.   Publishers are going to be knocking each other over for this.  Truly a marvelous tale.  

Tony:  I’ll finalize the denumas and other finishing details and begin talking about a wedding date with Gina. 

Clark:  This warms my heart.   I couldn’t be more elated !   I’d hug ya, but you know, I’d pass right through !  

Tony: (narrating)  So it was.   Everything was really beginning to come up roses.  I called my publishers and a date was set for the release of Music of the Heart.  Coincidentally enough, the book would be published on our wedding date.    I thought that Clark would be there to wish me well, but he had something slightly sad to tell me through song.  

Scene 5—Don’t Be Sad, It’s a Happy Day !

(Tony is getting ready for his wedding and is about to approach the altar.  Only recently have his friends told him ‘Music of the Heart’ had made the best-seller list almost overnight.   It couldn’t be a more auspicious day for Tony, but there is a bit of sadness attached with it.)

Tony:  (straightens his tie)  Here comes the groom, handsomest in the room !

Clark:  (beginning to fade)  Seems I was right about you all along.   The curse is broken. 

Tony:  (doing his best not to become too emotional)  I-I can’t believe it.   I-I don’t want to see you go.  

Clark:  (lighthearted laugh)  Honestly, I don’t want to go either, but in the process of being taken Home, I got to see everyone in my family.  They’re doing so well.  I’ve even got grandchildren.  Can you imagine that ? 

Tony:  I certainly can !   I guess this is goodbye then.

Clark:  (Sings ‘Goodbye’ and then salutes him)

(Tony is informed that he’s needed at the altar, and he coughs, clearing his throat.)

Tony: (Hearing ‘Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring’)  There she was, the most beautiful woman in the world before me.   Feels like nine months have gone by in a flash.   To think I wouldn’t have had the gumption without Clark’s initial prodding.  Thanks goes to you, old friend.  

(We see the two finally getting married and singing ‘Waiting for a Girl Like You’ together on the dance floor followed by their first slow dance to ‘At Last’ and ending with credits to the tune of ‘Eternal Flame’ and some classic bouzouki music.  Tony’s parents dance the classic ‘Dance of Joy’ from Perfect Strangers.   Bloopers, gaffs and general melee and mayhem are showcased during the end credits.  To all who made this film possible, thank you from the bottom of the matrix of my soul !)