Underwater Underground

Synopsis:   The tale of how nyrads and Reptilians are the true underbelly of crime.   Dona Suspira Serpentina controls the oceans and the land surrounding them but wants more.    When she hears of the brazen human yakuza  moving into her territory her first instinct is to rub him out, but she meets Ishikawa Sage and falls for him.  

‘Raise the black too soon and the prize will run.

Raise it too late and you’ll induce a panic and a greater chance at resistance.

You ought to show your colors at just the right time to get them to strike theirs.’--Flint to John Silver in Season 2, Episode X of Black Sails  

‘I saw the end ‘fore it begun 

Still, I carried, I carried, I carried on.’—lyrics from ‘Arcade’ as sung by Duncan Lawrence

‘We’re all fools, Dubrov.   She’s our friend, and when a friend’s in trouble, we do foolish things.’—Dimitri, Shadow and Bone, Season 1: Ep 2

‘We don’t ask questions out of fear.  We ask them out of spite.’—Kaz, Shadow and Bone, Season 1: Ep 2 

‘You taught me that cardinal north is a direction on a map.   True north is where you’re from, it’s your home.  You were always my true north, Mal.’—Alina writing to Mal, Shadow and Bone, Season 1: Ep 3 

‘If I’m capable of greatness 

It’s not innateness, don’t you see ? 

You’re the one who put it there

The power in me.’—Princess to her dad, Jafar from the musical Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier 

‘Ridin’ high when I was king

I played it hard and fast, cuz I had everything 

Walked away, won me then

But easy come and easy go

And it would end.’—Lyrics from Beggin’ as sung by Madcon 

~*~CAST~*~

Dona Suspira Serpentina: (the Dona of the Serpentina Syndicate) 

Daphne Serpentina: (her mother) 

Bertolini Serpentina: (her dad) 

Lorenzo ‘Lunkhead’ Serpentina: (her elder brother/bodyguard) 

Ciro Brunelli: (a shark nyrad and bodyguard) 

Nova Serpentina: (future child of the Underground) 

Akira Serpentina: (future child of the Underground) 

Myra Santino: (an orca sharpshooter, drug runner and friend of Suspira) 

Bloodsport: (A friend and head of the Naga Syndicate, the Capo) 

Vendetta: (his wife) 

Slim: (their eldest son)  

Noose: (middle son) 

Lynch: (youngest son) 

Envy: (eldest daughter)

Avarice: (middle daughter) 

Fury: (youngest daughter)  

Ishikawa Sage: (a ‘Capo’ Yakuza)  

Jun Dong: (Ishi’s Consigliore) 

Gon Hashimada: (a sharpshooter/guard dog type)

Blake Render: (a black drug runner and informant)  

Hotaru Sage: (Ishi’s mom)  

Mr. Costas Yaris:  (a gambler and rival) 

Delphine Yaris:  (his wife) 

Kore Yaris: (their only daughter)

Pjeter Shehu:  (her boyfriend, member of Shquitare)

Juan Paco: (his front man/protector) 

Reginald Trelane: (a card counter that helps Costas win) 

Lars ‘The Swede’ Svenson: (the steely eyed resolve who acts as the voice of reason)

Scene 1—Unwanted Competition

(Certamente plays in the background as Suspira takes in the exquisite nature of her territory.  Her crew follows her closely as she runs her typical errands, and none is the wiser of who she really is.   Most who don’t know her treat her with insouciance, but others who owe her money, time or simply don’t want to be on the wrong end of a business transaction.   Least of all, anyone who insults her or her family, or disrespects her could end up sleeping with the fishes.)  

Suspira:  (breathes in contentedly)  I look at everything before me and realize that there’s much more to how far the grasp of the Serpentina syndicate can reach.   

Lorenzo:  But, sis, don’t you think we’ve taken everything that can be taken ? 

Suspira:  Lorenzo, my dear, sweet brother, there is always more.    

Bloodsport:  She’s right Lunkhead.  (Stomach growls)  Holding this form is taking a lot out of me.  

Vendetta:  We’re not far from the Cove.   Besides, I’ll be cooking dinner.   

Ciro:  Who’s the human in our territory ?   

Suspira:  He’s Yakuza.   I’ve never seen him in seaside.   (getting irritated)  I may have to have a few words with him.  

Myra:  (proudly)  You always do the syndicate proud, Dona Suspira.   

(She struts up to Ishi and finds herself starting to fall for him.  The original ‘Just One Look’ plays as she looks totally smitten for the smokin’ hot man.)  

Ishikawa:  At last, we finally meet !   What brings you to Yakuza territory, Dona Suspira ? 

Suspira:  (a little bewildered)  Actually, yakuza, this is my territory.   We could do things easy, or we could tread down a bumpier road.   Which will it be ? 

Ishikawa:  (walks up to her and takes her hand boldly)  No one ever told me how stunning you were in reality.  I had heard tales of just how sensual you are, but the sheer ferocity of your eyes commands my attention.   

Suspira: (titters like a schoolgirl) 

Lynch:  (rolls eyes)  Ugh, I think I’m gonna puke. 

Lorenzo:  (cocks a gun and points it to Ishi’s head)  Ok, yakuza scum.  Unhand my sister, immediately or I’ll  give you a new orifice.    

Suspira:  (in Italian)  Lorenzo, enough.  This man means no harm.   (in English) Let’s see what we can accomplish.   I like Ishikawa’s boldness.  This could serve us well. 

Ciro:  Oh, come the fuck on, Dona !  He’s no bigger than the chum I eat for dinner !  

Myra:  What are your parents going to say about this ? 

Suspira:  They always make more than enough to go around for everyone. 

Envy:  What happened to giving the punk yakuza a bit of a ‘talking to’ ? 

Suspira:  Oh, eat me, Envy.   Things change.   Situations morph.   Give the man and his crew a chance to show their worth.   I have faith in him.  I don’t think he’d harm me.  Besides, he knows who I am, he realizes my power.   I don’t know him personally, but I can sense he’s dangerous.    (in Ishikawa’s ear seductively) It’s the kind of danger I thrive on.  

Jun:  (facepalms)  Come on, let’s just go.   I’m starvin’. 

Ishikawa:  (slaps him)  Respect our new boss, Jun.   Hear me ?  

Jun:  (nodding, still startled by the very heavy-handed slap he was given)  

Fury:  Well, this will certainly be (raises eyebrow as she sees Ishikawa reach out his hand to be held by Suspira and she takes it gladly.   He promenades with her and accompanies her much like a knight of the old code.  One of the nagas whispers to another…) 

Avarice:  I don’t get a good feeling from this union. 

(Scene fade)  

Scene 2—Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner ? 

Bertolini:  (seeing the Yakuza walking in, admiring how opulent Dona Suspira’s ‘lair’ is)  Would you look at that !   It’s Ishikawa Sage and his Scorpions.  

(Everyone except for Daphne looks at Bertolini as if to say, ‘how the heck can you know this guy’)  

Noose:  (shakes head from left to right as everyone drops their glamours in their hideout)   Am I missin’ somethin’ ?   I ain’t dense, but I am not connecting the dots right now.  

Bertolini:  Noose, my angular, slender friend, this man is notorious !  He owns quite a bit of property, does a lot of business.  The Sage name is infamous.  It shocks me none of you know him.  

Suspira:  He knew who we were, though.   A man with knowledge is a great asset.   

I personally think we should be allies.  

Ishikawa:  (Totally smitten with Suspira, he can’t take his eyes off her)  I couldn’t agree more.   (whistles with great appreciation and admiration) This pad  has it all !

Blake:  It is indeed swanky.   

Daphne:  Make yourselves at home.   Dinner will be ready soon.   We’re having eggplant parmesan, Caesar salad with your choice of dressing, champagne, red wine, Chianti, mozzarella filled garlic bread and plenty of sweets of your choice. 

Avarice: It’s like I died and went to Catholic heaven !   

(Both the Serpentinas chuckle and begin serving to a jazzier version of Santa Lucia and they all eat and have their fill.) 

Gon:  (patting his stomach)  Man, this is the life !   That food was ambrosial !  (kisses fingers) Compliments to the chef.  

Daphne:  I’m so happy it pleases all of you.   Now that we have had our pleasantries, I think it’s time we get down to business.   

Suspira:   I realize that this is awkward as a first meeting, but I wanted to be certain I knew what I was about to agree to.  

Ishikawa:  You are a shrewd woman.   It only makes sense.    

Suspira:  If I have permission, I wish to conduct business with this man and his Scorpions.  I want to be in partnership with him.   

Vendetta:   Goddamn it ! I fucking knew it !  

Slim:  Woah, mom.   Way to overshare your feelings.   

Bloodsport:   Vendetta, dear…(caressing her hand)  Calm yourself.   Anything new is frightening.  Let’s just hear Dona Serpentina out.   

Vendetta:  (through gritted teeth)  Of course, dear.  

Suspira:  I didn’t want to admit at first, but Ishikawa is far more of an asset, and I would rather not have him as an enemy.   (a bit shyly)  I also would like to be courted by him.   (to her parents, with the utmost respect and reverence) That is, of course, if it is favorable with you two.   

(The parents converse about this.  Everyone else is silent.  You can literally cut the tension in the room with a butcher knife.)   

Bertolini:  (comes towards him and hugs him, much to Ishikawa’s surprise)  Welcome to the Underground !   (whispers viciously)  But hurt my daughter, believe me, son.  You’ll regret it.  You will wish you were never born.   

Ishikawa:  (typically Ishikawa shows no emotion, but this gets him to visibly gulp in anxiety)   

Fury:  Now let’s eat dessert !   

Daphne:  (laughing)  Of course, sweet little naga.   (Playfully pinches her cheek) More than you could ever desire, Fury.    

(Scene fade)  

Scene 3—My Big Fat Mafia Wedding and Honeymoon 

(‘Let’s Go’ plays in the background as a montage of the Underground’s life until we come to a lavish party.   Everyone is dancing to a remix of ‘We No Speak Americano’ and Ishikawa takes the hand of his newlywed wife as soon as a very melodic, lounge version of ‘Fly Me to the Moon’ is played by the musicians they hired for their opulent wedding.) 

Ishi:  Mind if I cut in ?   

Suspira:  Feel free, honeybee.   (laughs)  Seems like your mom is enjoying all the attention of the handsomely dressed men in the room.   

Ishi:  One in particular caught her eye.   Soft spoken Ciro.   Never thought I’d see the day.   (brilliantly grins)  I’m pleased she has found happiness.   Honestly, I can’t wait to see where it leads.   

Suspira:  Does she know about your (makes quotes) ‘activities’ ? 

Ishi:  (chuckles)  Mom ?  Yeah, sure.  Ma, she knows everything.  Don’t all mothers ?  

Suspira:  (leans in to kiss him passionately)    I want you…

Ishi: (low growl in his throat)  Oh, my siren !   I know you do.   My whole body is aching for you, but we have to forego our pleasure, at least for a little bit longer.  

Suspira:  (coquettishly)  God, I love it when you tease me, Ishi.   

Ishi: (kisses her neck, making her moan softly)  Of course, darling.   

Suspira:   (hears ‘Volare’ as played by the talented musicians, Suspira becomes exceptionally excited)  It’s our song !  

(They begin to dance, and it transitions quickly to them in a secluded place in Brazil.  The music quickly changes to a very sexy, sultry version of ‘Never Tear Us Apart’ and we can see their silhouettes making very passionate love together.   Suspira’s tentacles come out and she is making love suspended with Ishikawa.  It’s more of a dance and actually quite impressive to view.   Scene fade.) 

Scene 4—A Few Years Pass  

Hotaru:  (playing with her grandchildren, Akira and Nova.   Akira is decidedly firstborn, but he watches after his little sister.   She falls, scrapes her knee and cries.   Nova comes to pick her up, only after kissing her knee to make it better.)   Seeing Akira tend to Nova is something of a wonder.  He really does look after her.    

Ishi:   He’s growing up to be a fine gentleman.   One day, he’ll own the Underground.  They both will. I’ve hidden no secrets from them.   They can choose to accept it or desert it. 

Cicero:  There’s really no ‘deserting’ or ‘ceding’, though, Boss.   

Ishi:  (languished sigh)  Sadly, no.   They’d have to fake their deaths if they wanted any kind of sane life.  Even then, someone else will hunt them down, but they know how to fend for themselves.  Children or not, they are Underground’s finest.   

Myra:  Damn straight !  They’re our blood, Boss !   

Ishi: (teasing)  And to think at first, y’all hatin’ on me.   

Lorenzo:  It wasn’t personal, it was all about turf.  You understand, right ?   

Ishi:  (laughs)  Sure do, Lunkhead.   To think we’ve come this far and cleared out some much-needed room to expand.   

Bloodsport:  We’ve got a lose end, though.   

Ishi:  (a little irritated)  That’s not possible.  Gon, Blake, June and you Nagas made certain… 

Bloodsport:  This one is one stubborn little shitstain that refuses to be removed.   

Gon:  Guy likes to gamble.  A bit too much.   He thinks he’s all that.   

Noose:  It’s Costas Yaris.   

Ishi:  Fuck !  West Precinct !  Thought those fuckers were dead.   

Seraphina:  No, but I can handle Costas.   Let me skewer him.  I haven’t done a good skewering in a while, and I want to continue maintaining my reputation as the most feared Dona in the Cosa Nostra. 

Ishi:  (wrapping his arm around her)  We’ll handle this together, my darling.  

Seraphina:  (looking deep into his eyes) Just like old times !   (evil laugh, she kisses him and the scenery transitions from their lair to The Horseshoe, a casino owned by the Underground.   Costas and his men have no idea they are on enemy territory.   Costas only has his main protectors and no trace of back up.) 

Scene 5—Evening the Score, Supposedly 

(‘Catch Me’ plays in the background as Costas makes a risky bet and he actually beats the house.)  

Juan:  Impressive, boss.   You’re quite lucky.   And you didn’t even need Reggie’s help.  

(Reggie laughs somewhat.)   

Costas:  As it always has been, Juan.   Not like I really need the money, but even though Kore has a full scholarship, the money I win for her can help her buy her own necessities after she’s found somewhere to settle down.  

Reginald:  Speaking of, how is she ?   How is she getting along with Pjeter ?  

Costas:   They’re thinking of getting married.   We’re already united with the Shquitare.    No one will dare ever fuck us over.   

Juan:  Even if they do, it’s likely Pete’ll have our backs.  

Costas:  Yeah, he’s a stand-up gent, that Pjeter.  I am glad Kore chose her allies well, but she learned from the best.   (boastfully points at himself, puffing his chest out a bit)   

(As the song plays, they are unexpectedly lured in different directions to a remix of song #8 of Nightwish’s latest album.   In the background, each is being skewered/impaled and thrown into the sea.   Costas thinks he hears some muffled screaming but thinks nothing of it.) 

Costas:  (counting his money happily)  Ah, Kore is going to be over the moon when I get her these funds.   It’ll be an early birthday present for her !    (looks up to see a hideous nyrad with tentacles pointed straight at him) What…the hell are you ?  

Suspira:   Mr. Yaris, you’re in enemy territory.    Should’ve done your research before you gambled somewhere you don’t belong.    (she begins to sing and he can’t help but be mesmerized) 

Costas:  Y-You killed my men ?   (showing resolve but one can sense he is actually terrified)  If you understood my connections… 

Suspira:  Fuck your connections, Mr. Yaris.   You guessed correctly.   Your associates are dead.   I shiskabobbed them, and now they’re chum for the sharks.   

Costas:   Evil bitch… 

Suspira:  (Her song grows in intensity, fresh blood still drips from her pointed tentacles, Costas can’t help but be drawn to her)  That’s right, into the warm arms of death, Costas. 

Costas:   If it is to be, let it be so.   Just make sure this money goes to my only daughter. 

Suspira:  I will be merciful in that one area.  (one tentacle flattens out, grasps the money and quickly puts it in her bra.  One by one she impales him.)  Your like will never venture into Underground territory ever again.  (With a mighty toss, she lobs the deceased Costas into the sea, where the sharks quickly make mincemeat out of him.)  

(Quick transition from that gruesome carnage to Albania in a very expensive, castle-like villa.  An unnamed informant hands Delphine a mysterious letter and college money, which she gives to Kore.) 

Kore:  Mother, does anyone know where this was from ?   (inhales deeply)  It smells of Reign, my father’s favorite cologne.  

Daphne: (getting a little choked up)  That money was bloodstained.   

Kore:  Don’t think I didn’t notice, mother.   (getting irate)  I want to find the monster responsible for this.   I need to call Pjeter immediately.    Someone is going to pay for the death of my father and his men.    

(scene fade)   

Scene 6—The End of a Section of the Underground 

(It’s a pleasant summer day.   The kids are out playing in the pool.   Suspira notions in a sultry manner to Ishikawa, who follows after her, like the horn dog that he is.   She takes off the robe she was wearing, revealing nothing underneath and only a glistening smile upon her gorgeous face.   Ishikawa smacks his hands together in anticipation, nearly licking his lips at the invitation.) 

Suspira:  (Sings her version of ‘Leave the Door Open’, which is ‘Leave the Cove Open’ and invites him to have coitus with her.   While they are wildly making love, they are bombarded.)  

Pjeter:  You thought you could kill my future father-in-law.  Guess who has the jump on you now, bitches !  

Ishikawa:  Fuck !   

(The two of them are brutally murdered via automatic weaponry to Mozart’s Requiem.   In a stream of blood and ending up in a vast pool of their own sanguinary fluid, thus ends the reign of the two Bosses of the Underground.)    

Kore: (wipes blood off her face with a black gloved hand)  Honey, you said this wasn’t going to be messy.  

Pjeter:   So, I might have twisted the truth a little.   You knew things were going to be bloody.  

Kore:  (chuckles)  Good thing I was wearing black the whole time.   Ugh, my dress is nearly drenched.  Let’s get rid of this…refuse.   

Pjeter:   God, when you lift dead bodies and hoist them out of a room, it’s enough to make me wanna jump you, babe. 

Kore:  (Snarky laugh, sardonic smile)  You’re a freak, that’s why I love you.   

(As they leave, a very sad instrumental of ‘A Very Good Year’ plays in the background.   Soon, the children come and find nothing, but blood and the remainder of the Underground mourns the death of their king and queen.) 

Nova:  I know dad and mom would’ve wanted us to continue our legacy with the Underground but, honestly, (crying) I can’t.  I know that sounds cowardly and weak.  

Noose:  (holding her)  No, it doesn’t.   The only reason we were doing it was for them.   None of us really have much power without their influence.    They were the King and Queen of the board, all of us are pawns, Nova.   

Akira:  Noose is right.   We know the risks; we know the steaks.   All of you do what you must, disband, rebrand, just get out while you still can.  

Fury: (trying not to cry)  So, no more Family.  

Jun: (angrily)  It’s not fucking fair !  

Gon:   Shut the fuck up, Jun !  (slaps him)  And stop fucking cryin’ !   It doesn’t help us !  (crying)  

Jun:  You’re the one sheddin’ tears, Gon.  

Blake:   Gon, Jun, stop it.   We need to respect the Boss and the Lady.   They’re gone, Underground is caput.   That’s all there is to it.   

(They each go their separate ways after saying their goodbyes.   An instrumental version of ‘You’re a Loser Now’ plays in the background, and we hear Nova narrating as she and Akira drive away to make a new life for themselves.)  

Nova: (narrating)  None of us knew where we were going, let alone what we were doing.    What we had known had turned into a powder keg.     We had to take the ashes of defeat and build them into something beautiful.    If no one knew us and we faked it through the rest of our lives, we could live comfortably.    Akira and I started out fresh in the countryside.   We never found the freaks who killed mom and dad, but we know they were extremely powerful, and definitely not to be fucked with.   We knew when to leave well enough alone, so we continued to leave the hornet’s nest alone.   We life simply, and honestly, that is all we ever wanted. 

(We see the brother and sister going about typical mundane life.  An instrumental of ‘A Quiet Life’ followed by ‘My Body is a Cage’ play as the credits roll.  On the DVD copy, there will be outtakes and behind the scenes looks at everything done in the process of the film, but nothing out of the ordinary for this movie.  It is more a cautionary tale than anything, but a dedication will be made to all the great filmmakers who made films like this possible and the constant support of friends, coworkers, extended family and family.   Also, thanks to God is mentioned without being overtly preachy.) 

The End