Steaks are too High

Synopsis:   In the not-too-distant future, meat prices have become so terribly high that only the plutocrats can afford them and what they throw away to ‘refugees’ is fought over tooth and nail if you can find their dumpsters before their garbage men throw it out for good.  

Chapter 1—I Just Love Red Meat SO Much !  

Everyone seemed to be pleased at the election, or most people, so it seemed.   The more vocal amongst us were going on and on about ‘rigging’ and ‘stuffing ballots’, and honestly, I didn’t see any trace or record of that.   I was blithely oblivious until I wanted to buy brisket and steaks for my official summer cookout this year.     

Everyone looked forward to my one-of-a-kind barbeques but when Mildred, my wife, came home from the store she only had small steaks.    The kids and I had wondered why.  Mildred did her best to hold back tears. 

‘With our stipends, there is no way we can afford our typical fair.’, she said sadly.    The kids were older, and they understood economics.    Unlike me, they knew exactly what was happening in the outside world.   I was so unattached.   I didn’t get involved with politics due to the drama and with everything that had occurred in the past year thanks to the Covid 19 pandemic, but now it was coming back to bite me in the tuchus.   

Mildred explained she could only afford smaller steaks because larger ones were costing more.    Shipping the meat cost extra and gasoline prices were exorbitant because the pipeline had been closed and no one was fracking in the United States any longer.   I sighed, knowing the steaks we were eating this weekend would probably be the last ones we would be savoring for a bit.    I had thought ahead and put a few hamburger patties in the freezer.   Fortunately, this and brewskies along with Pepsi products would save the weekend.    Mildred made her famous sweet chili dog sauce for the dogs I’d be slapping on the grill, but I knew I was going to miss red meat immensely.    I didn’t want to cry about it around Mildred, but I had a feeling I could cry in her presence, and she would understand why I was so upset.    

Chapter 2—Gone Are the Carnivorous Days 

I truly missed red meat.   Only the truly rich could afford meat at the prices and we had become almost vegetarian.    We could only pay for chicken, fish and occasionally pork.    We didn’t consume pork as often, but chicken simply couldn’t take the place of red meat.   None of my friends had enough cash to have an over-the-top barbeque like I had before summer officially started.   Things had changed so much; it was challenging to adjust to this ‘new normal’.    I started to realize just how right my children had been.   Inasmuch as I loathed politics, I began to pay more attention.   I wasn’t certain if there was anything that Mildred, the kids, or I could do in the long run.    We could raise our voices.   We could complain.    We wouldn’t stop implementing our 1st amendment rights.    We would read our constitution and bill of rights once more to reacquaint ourselves with our forefather’s plans for our Nation, which had sadly, fallen from grace.    It might be unsavable, but I didn’t want to believe that was so.    I thought that anything fallen, no matter how broken, could still be repaired.   It might be different than it was before, but still, America could be restored to its former glory.  Somehow.  

Chapter 3—Slow Course Back to Glory 

America had become a shadow of itself.   A bit more socialism would creep into the mainstream daily, but after the election, matters began to turn around.   A republican had been elected.   It wasn’t Trump, but he was just as good, and changes began to abound.    Fracking returned, alternate energy was explored, and borders were tightened.    Drug problems began to lessen, crimes began to lower.   Riots and defacing property started to wane.   Granted, not all problems would disappear overnight, but that whole issue of ‘systemic racism’ that so many had been distracted by had been seen for what it truly was; a distraction and a ploy to misdirect us from the root of our problems.    

The taste of meat seemed to be a memory.    I hated not relishing it as I had, and it felt like I was kvetching about it.    It was only in my mind that I complained.   No one knew how dreadfully I missed the natural juices flowing through my mouth, down my gullet and landing into my stomach.    That strange, familiar symphony that I desired more than anything so much that I could taste it.   By then, I was certain I had a problem.   I joined a program that recruited meat addicts.    We were called CA, or Carnivores Anonymous.    So many of us were close to being vegetarian that it was laughable.    Where was the meat eater I once was ?    Where was that Viking warrior that could easily coat a kabab in any kind of sauce and make it sing upon your tongue ?    What happened to the man that used Lawry’s seasoning salt as true alchemy, easily transforming meat into gold ?    This man existed within the deepest heart of a ghost that merely navigated himself to work to numb any expectations of getting good deals at the market.    This man forgot who he really was.   

Chapter 4—Oh, GLORY !

Just like Christmas day, the fabled moment arose.    Meat was once again affordable.   Not rinky-dink, skinny ass slabs but full-bodied, put bulk on your body steaks !   Many summers had come and gone without our sumptuous staple, but now it was plentiful, and it didn’t seem that there would be any issue in getting what we wanted long into the future.   

Another long foray into summer had dawned, and there I was, out grilling.    That familiar scent tempted my nostrils, teasing me.   One by one my friends dined near our pool.   Some were swimming, others were basking atop rafts.   Others still playing croquet, bocce or cornhole.    No sooner had the meat gone around that I heard a collective ‘thank God’.    It was then and there that we vowed we would never be sidelined again.    We had indeed, made America great again and brought back its true staple.   There was no way in hell we would allow steaks to be high, and we made certain we remained true to our honor as red, white, and blue-blooded American citizens. 

Epilogue 

You might ask yourself how the return of meat came.   It wasn’t without sacrifice.   Certain changes had to be made.   There had to be more egalitarian practices.    It wasn’t easy, and it was challenging to convince others that bringing back some older ways might hurt more than help, but these small implementations were necessary to enact change in the right direction.    Never again did we have to freeze what little meat we have or worse, go vegetarian or vegan.    No, we would remain the carnivorous libertarians we had always been.   So, whenever someone asks you about us, you can say you were there to witness the return of red meat and subsequently, America herself.   

The End 

From the journals of David S.K. Prescott III 

And his family of red blooded, red meat-eating patriots