Fandom Queen

Synopsis: Coming from the planet Fanatica, Queen Fiona and King Feldspar rule in search of all things dweeby, geeky, obscure, couture, and downright nerdy.

‘I’d like to have a mango.’--Victoria to Abdul

‘Your Majesty, they are from India.’, Abdul to Victoria

‘Well, since I am Empress of India, I shall have one sent.’--Victoria, ‘Victoria and Abdul’

Chapter 1—Tis Good to Be Queen

Planet Fanatica was a jewel of a planet in the Q77 sector of Axul Galaxy. They were highly advanced, knew magic and all sorts of knowledge from other planets. They lived nearly forever and had no trace of diseases. Amongst them coexisted such unusual creatures as the selkie, dragons, unicorns, alicorns, pegasi and the like. Technolgy and magic often co-mingled to create unusual hybrids like the sharkadon, which was basically a wooly shark with tusks. It was a gentle giant comingling with pilot and angel fish, and nothing to be feared. Even the predators were polite on Fanatica, which says quite a bit about their etiquitte.

Fiona D’Fan and her husband Feldspar ruled Fanatica and had ever since their marriage and coronation. Fiona had been handfasted to Feldspar, but this was royal rote. She knew Feldspar since her youth and the two were well matched. They had begun their lives playing video games they had hacked from the Interwebs from an obscure mote called Earth. Their superior technology could download and number of things, even from alternate timelines and universes.

Fiona adored everything about Earth but had only traveled to the adjoining planets in the Axul Galaxy. The Milky Way was quite a distance from her home planet but she wanted to attend a convention for the first time with Feldspar. He was all too eager and exciteable, very much like their alicorn, Precious.

Chapter 2—Descent to Earth

Precious the alicorn was left in the care of her loving handmaid and maidservant Bianca, who had cared for the creature since she was a foal. Precious was incredibly smart and she also tended to be mischevious, so she had to be watched like a proverbial hawk that had a chokehold on a field mouse.

Fiona and Feldspar took their Zinger out from the dock hanger. It had been using Solarium to charge, which was an indigenous crystal that integrated seemlessly and sans emissions into all their tech. Quickly Feldspar set a course and switched the controls to ‘superjump’.

‘We’re about to make the jump into Milky Way space.’, he announced. Fiona had been training in the Interstellar Academy along with Feldspar to prepare but nothing could have braced her for the beauty of travelling at light speed. Everything moved so quickly that keeping up was useless.

‘We’re here. Only a few clicks away from Earth. We should be there in a matter of minutes.’, Feldspar stated, avidly. The blue, round planet welcomed them. It seemed so quiet, so still from such a distance, but upon closer observation it was a hustling, bustling world full of opportunities.

Chapter 3—Gadzooks ! A Ren-Fair ! Huzzah !

Everyone and everything was different. Magical creatures didn’t really seem to exist here. If they did, however, they were probably camofladged so they could live their lives without interfering with humans. Fiona and Feldspar got the impression that magic had existed but something happened to break the symbiosis the magical elements had shared with their human counterparts.

Magic was alive and well, it was just extremely well hidden.

Feldspar and Fiona, though dressed regally, immediately fit in. Coincidentally, there was a Renaissance fair (or Ren-Fair in nerd speak) happening not too far to where they had left their Zinger cloaked.

‘Hey, this ticks off another task on our bucket list !’, she nearly crowed. She wondered if she had mastered the English language as of yet, since it seemed to be the most commonly spoken form of communication on Earth.

‘I can’t wait ! I’ve read so much about these things ! It’s so curious. Moving toward their future, yet always trying to learn from the past. These Terrans are fascinating.’, Feldspar complimented. Some humans were kind and curteous while others were rude. Neither of them let impropriety or profanity get to them.

They spent a day hobnobbing among humans, learning about archery, eating fried chicken and basically doing human things until they needed to recouperate in their chambers. Returning to the Zinger, they recharged for the night.

Chapter 4—Cosplayers Welcome

The next week, Fiona and Feldspar spent time getting to know the ins, outs, ups and downs of the somewhat addlepating planet. However, they were able to find a convention in town during the weekend despite some of their frustrations. Wearing their typical garb, they were welcomed but everyone believed they were characters from a TV, cartoon, book or anime series.

‘No, we are from another planet.’, Fiona admitted.

‘You might want to be careful whom you say that to. Some people here are liable to have you locked away in an asylum. But, you know, you’d always be welcome at Alien Con. It’s going to happen tomorrow if you’re interested. I’m one hundred percent positive there are some UFOlogists who would go bonkers if they knew honest to goodness aliens were attending Alien Con !’, a young cosplayer dressed as Lucy from Fairy Tail.

Both husband and wife gave each other a knowing look. Even though they wanted to return to Fanatica, it was obvious that they would be lingering one more day to speak to none other than Erik VonDanican and Giorgio Tsukalos.

The convention was the most fascinating gathering of humanity the two had ever witnessed. It was one place that held no judgement. They saw people wearing Pride flags as well as pansexual and transexual flags in honor of LGBTQ week. The two thought this was absolutely beautiful. Totally in line with their beliefs and non-predjudical ways.

Since they had lived on Earth for a while, they had been able to figure out a method of converting their money, also known as Fannas into ‘dollars’. Fannas were worth more than dollars, so the couple was more than comfortably well off. No one questioned them about their money or where it had come from. They simply saw the two lovebirds as hard working people who wanted to do business quickly, promptly and easily even if some haggling was involved.

Unfortunately, the con began to close down for its last night and the couple had to depart.

‘You will come back, won’t you ? You two have been absolutely fascinating to chat with.’, one of the vendors said, who was an ascriber to M-theory amongst many other heady postulations in the community of quantum physics.

‘Certainly.’, Fiona said, shaking the vendor’s hand. She had bought a VanGogh-esque painting of the Tardis which would illuminate under black light. Like her beloved, she found it hilarious that ‘black-light’ was an adjective, a noun and totally oxymoronic.

Chapter 5—Meeting Erik and Giorgio

The next day the two youthful souls went to Alien Con, not really knowing what to expect. The convention hall was packed to the gills with attendants, particularly those wanting to speak to Erik and Giorgio. Although there were tons of interesting things to see and do, Fiona and Feldspar wished to have a chat with Erik. They didn’t have to wait in line long, it seemed. More people were in attendance for Mr. Wild Hair himself.

Erik was so taken and charmed by the alien couple.

‘I should be the one asking you questions ! This is a very queer role reversal for me !’, he said, laughing. The two were more than pleased to field any questions about Fanatica and what wisdom they had to impart to the planet.

‘Just don’t let anyone find your writings. From what I heard some people will bind you in a straightjacket and have you locked up for a very long time.’, Feldspar said, with a hint of sorrow in his voice.

‘Yes, be careful. We really admire your work. Keep writing the truth because as the adage goes, ‘Truth will out.’, Fiona concurred. Erik wanted to continue their conversation but the two had respectfully declined chatting further.

At long last, the lovebirds had come to meet Giorgio. The line was unbearably long but it had been well worth it to meet Giorgio. Giorgio was frankly surprised that royalty had come to speak to him, especially since they were from a distant planet.

‘I knew I was right. I wish I could introduce you to Gregg Braden. He’s around here somewhere...’, Giorgio began. Fiona and Feldspar had already met Mr. Braden and his wife and had quickly befriended them.

‘Oh, they’re taking us out to dinner later before we leave. We figured we have one more meal before we hit the proverbial road.’, Fiona said, smiling. Giorgio was flabberghasted. He didn’t know what to say, let alone what to ask. At last, as though struck by lightning, inspiration hit. The two of them were asking questions until the convention released and Gregg usurped them from Giorgio’s grasp.

‘Please come back. I have so much to ask you.’, he said after hugging them.

‘Of course. We’re big fans of yours. We’re honored to have your friendship.’, Feldspar stated, almost reverently. In Fanatica, friendship was sacred and being a friend was one’s highest calling.

Epilogue

As they returned to their Zinger, they went through their handheld picture books and downloaded their zillions of photos into the cloud. Having idetic memories made owning cameras sort of a moot point but since they wanted to fit in among humans, they imitated what humans did when they were on Earth.

After the convention, Fiona engaged the quantum drive to jump back to Earth. She and Feldspar shed a few bittersweet tears. It wasn’t really ‘goodbye’ to their favorite new vacation spot. It was simply an ‘aloha’ to return someday, which they planned to do so, repeatedly.

To this day it is said that if you go to a convention and you see a lady in a dress wearing a purple cowl with a light-blue bob being followed by a regal man in orange, it’s the Fanatics out and about for another romp in convention heaven.

The End