Chimi & Changa: A Valentine For Evette

Synopsis:   An old rival that Chimi forgot during her school years appears once again.  She has moved into the neighborhood and has her sights set on Ferdinand and tries to seduce him.  Instead of being jealous, Chimi decides to help Evette out by giving her a makeover and contacting someone she had the hots for in college; a young physics major named Daniel Bern.   

~*~CAST~*~

Conchita ‘Chimi’ Lopez:

Ferdinand Lopez:

Bruno Lopez: (their son)

Mariposa ‘Mary’ Lopez: (their daughter)

Lupita Chiquita: (her mom)

Salvador Chiquita: (her dad)  

Joaquin Chiquita: (her grandpa)  

Lori Chang:  

Li Chang: (her dad)  

Bluebell Chang:  (her mom)

Kabe Chang: (her grandfather)

Fiona Chang: (her grandmother)

Solomon Cohen: (Jake’s dad)  

Esther Cohen: (Jake’s mom)

Rebecca Cohen: (Jake’s grandmother)

Evette Briar:

Daniel ‘Danny’ Bern:   

Walking Couple:   

Amalda Gonzales: (Bruno’s love interest)

Scene 1--Romance is In the Air

Lupita:  Sal, did you notice we’re getting a new neighbor ?  

Sal:  Yes, definitely.   She seems a little snooty.   

Bruno:  Who ?

Mary:   Yeah ! I haven’t seen her.   

Lupita:  Look through the window, corazon.  

Mary: (She and Bruno do so)  Woah. She’s absolutely beautiful.   

Bruno:   I agree with gramps.  She does seem like kind of a snob.  

Lupita:  Salvatore, for shame.   You’re teaching el chico to be judgemental.   

Sal:  (a little embarrassed)  Sorry, but I get a bad gut feeling about this yuppie.   

Lupita:  So stubborn.   (exhales sharply)  Fine, be stubborn about it.   

Sal:  I just had a grand idea.   Let’s all go to the zoo together !  

Mary:  Really, grandpa ?  

Lupita:   It is true that we haven’t been in a long time.   

Bruno:  I hear there are some rare exhibits there that are temporary.   There are peacocks visiting and those are my favorite !

Mary:  Mine are the lovely pink flamingos !    

Lupita:  It’s settled.  Grab your coats and let’s go.  It’ll be an early birthday present for our sweet Mary.

Mary:   (squeals, hugs her)  Thank you abuela Lupita.  

Lupita:  (kisses her forehead)  De nada, mariposa.

Bruno:  WOO-HOO !   Let’s hit it !  I get shotgun !  

(‘Walk It Like I Talk It’ plays as they drive along and then it becomes ‘No Roots’ when the kids and grandparents are having a blast.   The word ‘meanwhile’ appears on the screen.)

Scene 2--Expectations Shattered

Evette:  (seeing couples walking by and one walks by hand and hand.  ‘All By Myself’ plays in the background and she cries, laments and complains)  Every year ! Every single, darned year. It’s the same ! God, when is it gonna be my turn ?   

(Couple stops and kisses)

Evette:  Everyone’s so happy...everyone except me.  (getting teary eyed until she sees Ferdi grilling in his backyard.  He rakes his hair out of his eyes. ‘Feeling’s plays in the background)

Ferdi:  I’ve never seen you around here.  New to the neighborhood ?

Evette:  (trying not to blush)  Yes, I moved in not long ago.  (notices he has a ring) Oh. You’re married ?   Pity…

Ferdi:  (dreamily)  Yes, to the most beautiful, sexy woman in the world.  

Evette:  (feeling more bold by the second)  Do you ever have thoughts of betraying her ?   Do you ever have lustful urges you can’t control ?

Ferdi:  The only thing I can’t control is my heart when I am around my tesora…

Evette:  (pushes him back and gets him into an awkward position)  Are you so certain about that, Ferdinand ?

Ferdi:  Firstly, you’re making a big mistake.  I could never betray my Conchi.

Evette:  Did you say ‘Conchi’ as in Conchita Chiquita ?   That little bitch ?

Ferdi:  (keeping his cool)  Lady, I’m about to ask you to leave.   You don’t call my wife...that horrible word.   She is a goddess.  She is an angel.   Her feet, her hands, her lips, every part of her is sacred…

Evette:  Ugh, you make me wanna puke.  (backs up and frowns) I don’t see how that hussie….

Ferdi:  (getting more irritated by the second)  Take that back. Now.

Evette:  (inhales and exhales sharply, about ready to speak)  

Chimi:  Evette Briar !   (gasps) Oh my word, sugar !  You haven’t changed.

Evette:  (nonplussed)  You don’t say.  (grimaces) If you don’t mind, I’ll be taking my leave.  

Chimi:   No, wait !  

Ferdi:  I’m holding down the fort.  I’m about ready to start grilling.   You gals go ahead and catch up, don’t let me stop you.  (chuckles a little bit)

(transition)  

Scene 3--Reconciliation

Chimi:  (walking beside Evette, Evette walks in front of her in a huff)  Eve, wait.

Evette:  I’m walking back home.   I want nothing to do with you.

Chimi:  (places her arm around her.  At first, Evette jerks away, not wanting to be touched but Chimi tries again and Evette yields, finally breaking down into gut wrenching sobs)  

Evette:  I was a real bitch to you.  I know that. Now karma has come to pay me back.  I have been alone for years all because I was so cruel.  

Chimi: (hugging her and patting her back, giving her a kleenex)  Come here, sit down. Chat a while with me.

Evette:  (snivels, blows nose)  Thanks. But how did you do it ?  

Chimi: It simply happened !   I was out and about with my friend Lori and Ferdinand was selling houses.   We just ran into each other and it was love at first sight. We had so much in common we found that we complimented each other perfectly.

Evette:  (glibbly)  Well that must be nice.   Wish I could say the same, that with Valentine’s Day coming up and all.  

Chimi:  Eve, it’s a ok partner !    Look, amiga. Bygones are past.   It’s all dust in the wind. I’ve got a proposition for you.   You, me and Lori go out and get dolled up, just us girls. It’ll be a girl’s night out.

Evette:   Yeah but you two are married ladies.   

Chimi:  Oh, Eve.   It’s not about us, it’s about you… Come on, let loose a little.  

Evette:  (thinks about it momentarily and agrees)  

(Scene shift.  All the while, the girls have a blast to Shaka Khan’s ‘I’m Every Woman’ and they get made over, looking like divas.   They do a makeover reveal and she gasps.)

Changa:  Who’s that sexy vixen ?

Chimi:  Call 911 cause I think we’ve got ourselves a fire raging out of control !  

Eve:  (looking at herself in the mirror, ‘Who’s That Lady’ plays in the background)  I am absolutely sensational. (SHe hugs them despite herself. They go out on the town, looking like gangsters listening to the clean version of Ric Flair Drip.  They start talking and laughing in a fancy restaurant.) I know I was a real bitch before but both of you have been so kind…(starts to get verklempt)

Changa:  Aw, cookie, no worries.   Everything you did in the past, it’s water under the bridge, like Conchi said.

Chimi:  Yes, we’re friends now.  I hold no grudges against you.  

Eve:  Both of you, thank you.  I owe you so much. (looks off in the distance)  It can’t be ! It’s my colleague, Daniel Bern.

Changa:  Woah, he’s rather handsome !   

Eve:  (blushing fiercely)  We were in physics class together.  He helped me out immensely but I always had the biggest crush on him.  He hasn’t changed a bit.

Chimi:  Go and ask him out !   You’re dynamite now !

Eve:  (shy) I don’t know if I can.  I’m really no good at this sort of thing.  

Chimi:  How do you know ?  You haven’t even tried.  Go on, git !

Eve:  (grinning brightly, getting more confidence in herself)  Daniel ?

Dan:  Eve ! You are looking positively scintillating.   I’ve never seen you in a dress before.

Eve:  I’m out with my new girlfriends.   They’re such angels.

Dan:  Do you want to join me ?  Normally, I go out with the guys but I’m alone tonight and I could use company.   

Chimi:  (gesturing and mouthing)  Go to him, woman ! Go ! To !  Him !

Eve:  I’d be honored.  

Dan:  (takes her arm)

(Chimi high fives her friend as the two leave.)  

Dan:  They seem like a lot of fun.

Eve:  Oh, they’re that and they’re definitely unique but that’s what makes them interesting.   They’re completely fascinating women.

Dan:  (leads her to a table, pulls out her chair)  

Eve: Ohh, how gallant.  Thank you.

Dan:  So, I take it you are enjoying being a librarian.  

Eve:  (nodding)  Indubitably.   (completely smitten)  How long has it been ?  

Dan:  Far as I am aware, far too long.  I thought I had lost you.

Eva:  After graduation I never saw you again.  We went our separate ways on the Uni campus.   

Dan:  I got so bogged down in work that I had little if no social life at all.   I come here to get away. Plus the Greek cuisine here is absolutely ambrosial.  

Eva:  You can say that again.    

Dan:  (takes her hands) I should’ve done this long ago but, I wanted to know if you wanted to start seeing each other.   I know you had a crush on me long ago.

Eva:  (turns red and lowers her gaze momentarily)  But...h-how ?

Dan:  Evette, darling, sweet, precious and beloved angel, I knew from the start when you chose me as your partner we were meant to be something more than academic confidantes.   (he takes her hand and squeezes it) I knew that you were the positrons to my atomic core….

Eva:  That is the most romantic thing I have ever heard.   

Dan:  (hears a familiar song playing)  I think they’re playing that song you like so much….

(‘You Are So Beautiful’ plays in the background)

Eva:  Did you request this ?  

Dan:  (winks)  And what if I did ?  (holds out hand) Come on, dance with me !

Eva:   (swallows hard, takes his hand and they slow dance)  I should’ve done this years ago when we had our Uni Fundraising Dance but I was far too timid.  

Dan:  And look at you now...I’m the luckiest man in the world with the most gorgeous woman in my arms, dancing with me.   

(The song ends and they kiss, and then they realize that people are watching them.)  

Eva:  (laughs awkwardly as they walk out)

Dan:  Well that was a little uncomfortable.  

Eva:  This is so idyllic.  Just walking with you, chewing the fat.   Savoring every little morsel.

Dan:  You really love metaphors.   You see, that’s what I like about you.   You have such a way with words. You are quite the poet and you also appreciate complexities in life.   In a manner of speaking, you’re a scientist just like me.

Eva:  That I am.   

(Changa watches from a distance.)  

Changa:  I think our lovebirds are finally off to a great start !  

Chimi:  Changa, how did you drag me into this ?   

Changa:   My big puppy dog eyes and quivering lip slew your bleeding heart.

Chimi:  (shakes her head and exhales sharply)  You do keep my life interesting.  (Holds her close) Wouldn’t have it any other way, bosom friend.

Changa:  (laughing heartily)  You said busom, tee-hee, hee.   

Chimi:  You’re so childish !  

(Scene fade)   

Scene 4--Forever Changed

(‘Believe It Or Not, I Feel I’m Walking On Air’ plays in the background as Evette literally skips and dances down the street.   It’s Valentine’s Day and she’s saying ‘hello’ to everyone, even the incredibly lovey-dovey couple she scared away only two days ago.)  

Walking couple: That woman is absolutely cuckoo.   

Bruno: (tries not to laugh)  That can’t be the same woman.   

Ferdi:  That’s the power of your mother, miho.   She has a way to heal other’s deepest, darkest pain.   She is the sun itself.

Bruno: Papa, I need your help.  

Ferdi:  Yes, miho.  Go on.

Bruno:  You remember my last girlfriend.

Ferdi:  The one that broke your heart ?

Bruno:  Cordellia ?  Yeah, that’s the one.   There’s a new lady in my life.  Her name is Amalda.

Ferdi:  A beautiful name.  Just be yourself. I know you’re stinging after what happened before but that’s in the past.   Just know that whatever happens, we are both cheering you on.

Chimi:  (grin, places a hand on his shoulder) Yes, and if she becomes your one true love, we want to meet her ourselves.    (narrating) It was Valentine’s Day, one of my favorite days of the year, other than Dia De Los Muertos and of course, Navidad.  

Not only was it my little Mariposa’s birthday but Evette was having her first Valentine’s date in a long time.   I could see how deep her love for Danny was and I felt happiness overflowing in my heart. She was a totally new person now, completely free from hatred and sorrow.   Believe it or not we’re friends and she’s even become one of my kid’s favorite nannies. She savors being around them and hopes to become a parent some day. I am completely sure some day she shall, but for now seeing them bloom and grow is the most incredible feeling in the world.  

(She sings ‘Getting to Know You’ as she skips along, laughing merrily.)  

(We see bloopers at the end, she is dancing in the club with Chimi and the gang to ‘Shawty Got Low’.   There are gaffes as well. My thanks to all who supported me especially in those who made Chimi and Changa a reality.   This one was more fluff than anything with a happy ending and shades of what is to come with a Quinceanera. I will have first contact with one of those myself this coming weekend, so I am extremely excited.   A gringa at a Quinceanera ! Who would’ve thought ?)