Bollywood or Bust

Synopsis:   A young entrepreneur named Lester Keene heads to India to expand his horizons and he catches (literally) the love of his life, Raini Patel, saving her life.   Everything is about to change for our hero, Les…

~*~CAST~*~

Lester Keene:

Young Lester:

Young Francine:  

Archibald Keene: (his dad)

Lilac Keene: (his mom)  

Francine Divine: (his sister)

Malcolm Divine: (her husband)

Kelly Divine: (their eldest daughter)

Harvey Divine: (their son, baby of the family)

Raini Patel: (love interest)

Amitabh Patel: (her papa)

Puja Patel: (her grandmother)

Rahul Patel: (her grandfather)

Siri Keene: (unborn daughter)

Seema Keene: (unborn daughter, twin of Siri)

Mandeep Khan: (Kajol’s husband and another good friend of Raini’s)

Kajol Khan: (Raini’s best friend)

Rohit Khan: (eldest son)

Rajesh Khan: (their youngest son)

Scene 1--Trip of a Lifetime

Lester:  (over his cell phone)  Yes, yes.   Of course I am not flying blind you guys.   I know quite a bit about India.  I even enjoy Bollywood and Indian food.   You know I make a mean chicken tandoori.   Francine ?   As far as I know she’s living a very bohemian lifestyle with Malcolm and Kelly and they’re grand.   I don’t hear much from them due to my marketing contract overseas.   It’s a big deal.  I’ve never gotten this far and I’m hoping that it’ll be a big seller.   It should be, I spent years shaking out the possible glitches and hiccups.    Yes, I love you too.   Kelly and Harvey are swell, doing well in school.   I wish they’d call me more often than what they do, but you know, busy guys, busy lives.    I’m going to take a quick nap on the flight...Goodnight y’all.  I love you.

(‘Safar’ from ‘Jab Harry Met Sejal’ plays as he makes his trip, outlined by the proverbial ‘plane on a map’ with background images underimposed against the montage sort of spiel.   He lands in India, and a day passes.   The next day, he awakens fresh to pitch his ideas to the Khans, who are on set to a new film called ‘Butterfly’, in which Raini Patel is performing as the female heroic romantic lead.)

SCene 2--An Angel Literally Fell into My Arms

Mandeep:  Oh, good to meet you Mr. Keene.  I’m Mandeep Khan.  This is my lovely wife, Kajol:  

Kajol: (sweetly) Namaste.  Such a treat to have you here.  I’ve heard a lot of good about you.

Les:  (chuckling) Perhaps that’s why my ears were burning on the trip here.  

Rohit:  Welcome to India, sir !  I trust your flight was without incident.

Les:  That it was.  You must be Rohit, Mr. Khan’s son.

Rohit:  Right you are.

Les:  I could see the resemblance a mile away.   I see your brother’s busy on the set.  

Rohit:  He always is.  He makes absolutely certain everything’s up to code and regulation.  One little slip and (imitates explosion) disaster !  

Les:  Glad he’s in charge then.   (he sees Raini from a distance and immediately feels his heart swell within his chest, palpitations increasing.   ‘Gerar’ plays in the background.  He notices the scaffolding begin to move and he rushes in, just in time to grab her.)  

Raini:  (a bit flushed)  Why, thank you, kind sir.  Had it not been for your act of bravery, something terrible could’ve happened.  I’m Raini.  

Les:  (a bit squeaky at first)  Les (clears throat, lower tone) Les.  Lester really but Les for short.   My gosh, your eyes.  They’re so clear, deep and soulful.  You really are an angel.  

Raini: (Laughs)  Are you this silver-tongued all the time, Les ?

Les:  (blushes hotly)  Only with you, Raini.  (clears throat, places his hands at his sides and continues to act like a gentleman)

Raini:  Are the business preparations going well for your venture ?  

Les:  I’ve just started but so far so good.   I feel my product will help others help themselves.   It’s modern convenience really.   I want to help people who might have had a tough row to hoe growing up.    I wasn’t always successful like I am now.  

Raini:  (walking beside him, clearly fascinated) Oh ?  That’s impossible.  I never once saw you as anything but prosperous !  

Les:  You know that saying about gurus and masters ?  They didn’t always create masterpieces.  They were once messes, their lives were chaos.  

Raini:  Tell me more, I’m dying to hear it !  

Les:  You really want to hear my sob story ?

Raini:  Over some coffee, light refreshments.  All on us of course.  

Les:  How can I turn that offer down ?  (he smiles brilliantly)  

Scene 3--Rags to Riches

(flashback)   

Archibald:  Lilac, I don’t know how we’re going to make ends meet this weekend.  I just lost my job !  The company went bust !  

Francine:  Pop, don’t be sad.  I’ve got an idea.  

Les:  What’s this ?  Is it some kind of workshop to build toys and dress them yourself ?

Francine:  That’s the going idea.   It’s hands on for the customer.   

Les:  That looks like fun.

Lilac:  We’d have to have materials, funds and…

Archibald:  Never you mind how we’d get them, Lilac dear.  Franny’s idea is golden.  

(Meltaway to present day)

Raini:  So you basically created Build a Bear ?

Les:  What became Build a Bear, yes.   

Raini:  So many happy kids.   So, what is this venture you’re working on now ?

Les:  Microloans for entrepreneurs.   Schools for entrepreneurs.  I’m calling it ‘Starter Company Inc.’   I’m the founder.   I do webcasts to give people insight into how to invest and where money is growing.   It’s not really about the capital gains in my case though.  It’s about the personal wealth of accomplishing something worthwhile.   

Raini:  That truly is incredible.  You know, from the moment you caught me I knew you were different.  (she strokes his hand affectionately, and he blushes)

Les:  Why do you say that ?  

Raini:  You have an altruistic, magnanimous heart.   You truly want to help others change to create further change.   A domino effect of kindness.   It’s really beautiful.  (she leans forward, her lips are dangerously close to his)  

Amitabh:  Well !  It’s been a rather productive day !  Time to stop filming for the time being.  Raini, tomorrow we’ll pick up where we left off.  

Raini:  Did the workers fix the scaffolding this time ?  

Amitabh: Yes.  (draws her aside for a moment) Daughter if you don’t think I see what you are plotting then you must think I am blind.

Raini:  Papa, no.  Not now.  

Amitabh:  Remember your poor precious mother Dijit.  She would be spinning in her grave if she knew you were fraternizing with a non-desi boy.   

Les:  Everything alright ?

Raini:  (hiding her pain from her dad’s disapproval)  Yes, but I must bid you goodnight.   You’ll be coming back tomorrow, I hope.  

Amitabh: (almost grabs her forcefully by the arm angrily and she yanks her arm away, defiantly)   

Les:  Of course I will be.  I bid you goodnight, Princess.  (sings a few lines of Kal Ho Na Ho to her, which for a moment, make her smile dreamily)  

Amitabh: (While he is well out of earshot)  So he can sing in Hindi !  He’s NOT Desi like us !  His values, his morals are totally different !  

Raini:  I have spoken to him.  Papa, you don’t know how extraordinary his heart is.  Even though I only met him, I know I love him.  I don’t think he would ever hurt me.  

Amitabh:  (crossing his arms in displeasure, clearly disgusted)  Hmph.  I will be the judge of that, Raini.   

(scene fade, a very hot under the collar Amitabh escorts Raini off the set after a long day of directing to pray for guidance from the Gods and advice for his starry-eyed, lovestruck daughter.)  

Scene 4--Making a Good Impression on Daddy

(Les comes to the set, immediately drawn to Raini like a cat to sunlight.   Ami steps in, clearing his throat in an authoritative way.)

Raini:  (assertively)   I don’t think you have formally met my papa.  

Ami:  (offers his hand for Les to shake it, which he does, and gives him a firm, confident shake)  

Ami:  Hmm.  You do have a firm grip.   Shows great potential.   

Les:  I wanted to do something for Raini. I know it is a bit sudden, but my flight itinerary beckons me home in a few days.   This is the time for me to seize my moment.   (He sings ‘Butterfly’ to her, and he can see Ami start to soften ever so slightly)   

Ami:  Seems you’re a bit more familiarized with India than I give most Westerners credit for.  Maybe I was wrong in judging you…

Raini:   Perhaps I should leave you two to get to know each other.  I’ll be on set if you need me !    Byeeeeeeeee !  (zips away, whistling the main theme to KKHH)

Ami:  That’s my daughter.  Free spirited, more lyrical than a bird, the rainbow of my existence.   She’s really brightened my life, especially after Ama, her mother passed away a few years ago.  

Les:  (pained expression)  Jeez, I’m sorry about that.  So, you never remarried.  

Ami:  Some Indians do, but she was my twin flame.  When she died a part of me died, but Raini reinvigorated me.   

Les:  I can see that.   I hope my little song and dance didn’t go too far.   

Ami:  No, what you did was quite impressive.   Thing is, where did you find time to find all those backup dancers ?

Les:  (a bit coyly but with a sly smirk)  I know people who know people who call those people and those people helped me in a jam.

Ami:  (shakes head)  I didn’t understand a word of that business lingo, son.  (he laughs)  You know, I was really wrong about you all along.  I thought ‘Oh, GODS, here comes another non-Desi, white bread boy who wants to bang my daughter…

Les:  (a bit shocked)  The thought actually did cross my mind, I’ll admit.  (this draws a glare of death from papa, but he softens)  But I want to woo her proper like a gentleman would.  Not all of us Americans are Neanderthals when it comes to treating a lady right.  

Ami:  Good.   Forgive me for being pig headed and oberate.  

Les:  Forgiven.  Now, let’s see how well this film is coming along.  (narrating)  The movie, appropriately enough, was called The Butterfly.  It was about a young woman who was born into privilege but had been stricken with mental illness.  Because of this even her parents had shunned her but she falls for a poor boy outside of her caste, which causes her family more division until they see just how hardworking, devoted and generous he is.  His altruism changes the way they treat others, especially the lower caste.  He is also Pakistani so this causes immense controversy in the woman’s life due to the fact she is Hindi.

Ami:  (hand over heart)  It’s so moving.  You really studied our melodrama well.

Les:  Ever since I saw Lagaan, I Was entranced and enthralled.   

Ami:  It is quite sumptuous and dramatic.   (smiles)  I hope there are no hard feelings between us both.   I permit you to court my beautiful princess.  But be warned, I have eyes like a hawk.  (points to his eyes and back to him)  I will be watching you, young man.

Les:  (narrating)  Over a period of the next few months, I created an elaborate scheme to create the most elaborate proposal I could for Raini.  Even though I was confident, I still felt my knees shaking as I propped everything up for perfection.

(He sings her the love song from Bahubali 2)

Raini:  You did this all for me ?

Les:  Yes.  (kneels)  Raini Patel, would you give me the honor of being your husband ?  (opens the black velveteen box, revealing a brilliant ring that has a line of heart-shaped diamonds)

Raini:  Les !  Oh heavens !   YES !   

(Fast forward to the future in America with two twins sitting in complete transfixion…)

Scene 5--East Meets West

Seema:   Tell us the story of how we were born again, papa !  

Siri:  Yes !  Tell us, tell us !

(They both wrap themselves around their dad, affectionately)  

Les:  Seema, Siri, there’s no time. The bus is here, it’s waiting.  

Siri:  (pout)  Aw.  (brightens) But you’ll tell us later, won’t you ?  

Les:  Of course I will, my little lotuses.  (he kisses them both goodbye, Raini gives them a kiss and a hug along with their lunches)

Raini:  Seems that only yesterday we were changing diapers, watching them teethe…

(she hugs him from the side, he draws her in for a deep, passionate kiss)  

Les:   I can only pray for many more prosperous, joyful and boisterous years with you and our jewels.   

Raini:  Yes !   To think that Butterfly did so well.   The films that have followed are paying Seema and Siri’s tuition.  (she laughs)

Les:  True, but we had to take a leap on them.  The critics weren’t so sure we’d hit a ‘rounder’ like Butterfly out of the park again.

Raini:  (gives him a high five and does a little dance with him)  And we did !   

Les:  (kisses her)  I must go to work.   More products to sell.  

Raini:  (kisses him back)  The Salvation Army needs me today.  

Les:  (narrating)  Even in the mundane, I saw glimpses of the sacred.   I was married to a princess and had a royal family all of my own.   I couldn’t have predicted this outcome, even if you asked me what I felt it would entail.   My love Raini and I are still young and we have many more adventures to embark upon.  Only God knows how far we’ll go, but everywhere we’ve been our message in The Butterfly have changed people’s lives for the better.  That’s when we know the hard work, sweat, tears and sacrifice had been worth everything.   Amitabh, Raini’s dad, has come over here to live with us.  He, mama Puja, and grandpa Rahul have become welcome fixtures here in what would be an otherwise quiet WASPy suburban neighborhood.   Honestly, I don’t mind the extra company or banter.  The noise of cricket on the TV has become a fun and interesting pastime for all of us.  I know that even though I’m American, I am a Hindu at heart and I always have a second home on the Ganges.   

(The ‘Heartbeat’ instrument plays in the background as we see a montage of the meshing of cultures and savoring of the festivals oversees with the family together.  ‘Phurr’ plays as we see them celebrating and having a blast.  Bloopers and gaffes are rolled.  Credits and thanks are given to those who are responsible for this gem being written and produced.  Also to all my friends in India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Nepal, I owe you for your friendship.  Yours is the greatest, best gift anyone could ever want and I can only repay you with love, kindness and the biggest of smiles.  I love you immensely.)