A Shyster Redeemed
Synopsis: Jaime Alvarez learned how to con from her father, Gerald, who went through 5 marriages. She quickly learns over time that being a huckster/grifter isn't for her, especially when she meets 'the one' in Timothy King.
'All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players.'--Shakespere, 'As You Like It'
'Don't live your life for anyone else. Live your own adventure.'--Eve Baird to Cassandra, 'The Librarians: And the Final Curtain'
~*~CAST~*~
Jaime Alvarez:
Gerald 'Gerry' Alvarez:
Tea Ortiz: (ex #1)
Linda Pettigrew: (ex #2)
Mia Ling: (ex #3)
Henrietta 'Hetty' Nan: (ex #4)
Bea Alvarez-Stamos: (ex #5 and Jaime's mom)
Hermes Stamos: (Bea's husband)
Lydia Ricardo: (Jaime's best friend)
Geraldo Ricardo: (Jaime's husband)
Valentino 'Val' Ricardo: (eldest son)
Andromeda 'Anme' Ricardo: (youngest daughter)
Timothy 'Tim' King:
Leon Alistair: (Tim's best friend)
Scene 1--Growing up Grifter
Jaime: (narrating) If you wonder where we're going in our Winnebago, (sighs a bit sadly) I do too. It seems like the 10th time we've been going here and there. I know what we're running from. My dad, Lord love him, is a grifter. He lies for a living. Granted, it's not the most reputable way to make a living but I am hopeful I can convince him deception can be an enervating, dangerous and downright illegal before it is too late. I seem to have gotten myself delved into this life, whether I want to or not. (exhales sharply) There has to be a way out. I haven't found it, but I have to remain optimistic. For both my sake and dad's.
Gerry: (stopping at a nearby camp, full of weekend warriors) Why so glum, chum ?
Jaime: Nothing, dad. I was just thinking about getting a real job. You know, something I can sink my teeth into ? Get my hands dirty as the axiom goes ?
Gerry: Why would you ever want to do that ? We're making plenty of money being shysters. It's lucrative !
Jaime: Convincing as your argument is it hasn't really done wonders for you. Look at you. You've been through 5 marriages ! 5 !
Gerry: Marriage would just hold us back. We're a better dynamic duo. Cliche as it sounds, 3 is indeed a crowd.
Jaime: Maybe, but the Winnebago could use a woman's touch.
Gerry: (hugging her from the side) That's why I have you, my dear.
Jaime: You're hopeless. Clueless too, but I still love you.
Gerry: Have you heard anything from your jingle-writing friend ? You know, the one that writes songs about obscure holidays ?
Jaime: You mean Lydia ? I haven't heard from her since grade school. Last time we got together, she was superbly successful in marketing.
Gerry: You two need a girl's day out. Just like old times.
Jaime: I don't even have the money to afford such luxuries, dad.
Gerry: Lydia'll understand, she's a sensible gal. As for me, I'm gonna scope out the digs here, see if we can lay our steaks here.
Jaime: (hugs her father) Good luck. I'm calling Lydia and heading out. Have fun in the motorcade.
(Gerry starts to check out the area and get to know his neighbors. Strangely enough, he runs into all his exes, including his last wife and her newlywed spouse later on.)
Scene 2--Gal Time at the Mall
Jaime: (narrating) I hadn't seen Lydia for ages, but it was like we had never been separated. Even though my life as a huckster had nearly destroyed our friendship, she held on to hope that I would change and dad would be able to start anew. I have gotten away from his lifestyle and tried finding work, but it hasn't been easy. That's why she's trying to help me place my bread upon the waters, hoping it doesn't return soggy, or worse, completely drowned.
Lydia: I've got a good one to share with you !
Jaime: (chuckling) I can't wait to hear it. What's this song about this time ?
Lydia: (beaming) I have a plethora, this is just one of many ! Ahem. Arbor day.
Jaime: (arches an eyebrow) Arbor day ? Really ?
Lydia: I may be the first person to ever consider writing, in earnest, a true arbor day carol.
Jaime: (stifels a snicker) Only you would be so unique to do something so different. I love that you think differently from other people.
Lydia: It's what's gotten me so far in the realm of marketing. (effervescent grin)
(She sings her arbor day song loud, proud and on key, with an almost Broadway like finish)
Jaime: Cute, clever and darned catchy.
Lydia: Yeah, the muse, it's a funny thing, eh ? Everyone seems to adore these songs, too.
Jaime: How are Val and Anme ?
Lydia: Excelling in their classes. Val is training to become an imagineer. I never thought I'd be saying that, but it's something he's always wanted to do, ever since we took that trip to Disneyland.
Jaime: That's righteous ! So he's living his dream ! Awesome ! What about Anme ?
Lydia: Little Anme loves cosplay, the stars and knowledge. She has time for all three past-times. She is quite the seamstress, heavily influencing her costume designs with a steampunk flair. (shows off a photo)
Jaime: Oh my, those dresses are sumptous. They must take hours !
Lydia: With her jobs, she funds for all the material herself, but with the money she makes, it pays off the expense. I'm so proud of her. She's quite talented.
Jaime: I'd say. Those dresses are absolutely spellbinding.
Lydia: What do you say I treat us both to a manicure ? I think we both need it after a long day here. Hopefully we'll get a call back from those lovely people you handed your CV too, as well.
Jaime: Exactly. Once I have a proper job, I can finally pay you back.
Lydia: Jaime, you don't need to. Your friendship is enough, as well as your broad, gleaming smile ! (kisses her cheek) Plus I love ya.
Jaime: Don't be saying that too loudly so others can hear.
Lydia: (boisterously) I love this woman ! She is uber gorgeous ! (holds on to her) And, you can't have her ! Hear me ? No ! Mine !
Jaime: Oy, vey.
Lydia: You know you love my insanity.
Jaime: Indubitably.
(Scene mesh with Gerry nosing around the new neighborhood and being a bit of a snoop.)
Scene 3--Bumping Into Exes
Gerry: (stretching) So far, so good. No worries, no cares. No...way...
Tea: (a bit surprised) Hello, Gerry.
Gerry: (a bit nervous at first) Hello, Tea. Fancy meeting you here.
Linda: Would you look what the cat drug in !
Gerry: Hey, Linda.
Mia: (laughs) Oh, this is rich, ain't it ?
Gerry: Seriously ? God really has a weird sense of humor.
Hetty: Funny we should all be meeting here at Pleasant Meadows. We were all thinking of taking a vacation.
Gerry: Kill me now, God. Just put me out of my misery.
Bea: Gerry ! How is Jamie ?
Gerry: (lowering his head) Bea, I see you've settled down.
Bea: It's just a hoot and holler how we're back, all together again.
Hetty: What brings you to the Meadows ?
Mia: Oh yeah. I'd love to hear all about that.
(scene shift)
Jaime: Ahhh, this is paradise. (phone rings) Hello, this is Ms. Alvarez. Yes. Yes. Tomorrow ! Really ? Ah, fabulous ! Of course, 8:00 am. Bright and early. I'll be there. Thank you, you won't regret it !
Lydia: What was that all about ?
Jaime: That was just Mr. Ford at Old Navy. He thinks I'd be perfect for the position. I haven't cashiered in a while, but I'm certain those skills will come back easy as pie.
Lydia: You can do that in your sleep. Plus I've never seen anyone as welcoming as you. Go get 'em !
Jaime: I wouldn't have been able to do so if it hadn't been for you. (phone rings again)
Yes ? Dad, you sound bewildered. Oh....Ohhhh.
Lydia: Dad in trouble ?
Jaime: In a way, but no worries. I'll calm the storm. (looking at her manicure) Such a masterpiece. Thanks ! These will be perfect for my interview with Mr. Ford tomorrow. I'd love to stick around but I gotta jet.
Lydia: I gotcha. (places her hand on her shoulder and pats it) I know you can do it. I have all the faith in the world in you.
Jaime: (narrating) And I was glad she did. It was utter discord when I came back to the motorcade, I was able to smooth out all the rough edges and everyone was getting along masterfully. All it took was a woman's touch. Thank heaven, we wouldn't have to move.
Maybe things were starting to take a turn for the better ? I could only hope and pray they would.
(scene fade)
Scene 4--Unexpected Vision of Handsomeness
Jaime: (excitedly and full of optimism and enthusiasm) Mr. Ford, or he prefers to be called Robert or 'Bob', hired me in to work the same day ! How fortuitous ! I began my first day at work, loving every moment of it. It was like I had found where I belonged. Now I only needed to figure how I could get my dad to realize having a 'real job' was more important than leading people astray. So far, with the reconsilliation he had done with all of his exes, including my mom, Bea, had started him on the road to repentence. It will take time, like any good thing does, though.
Tim: (walking up and making a purchase) Hello, Jaime ! I'd like to buy these, if you would be so kind to ring me up.
Jaime: (It's Witchcraft plays in the background) Ho-holy mackarel...Sure thing ! (catches her breath, fumbles around a little, titters a bit)
Tim: (chuckling) You must be new. It's alright. Just take your time. Oh, and if you ever want to come over to the jewelry store, m'card, fair lady.
Jaime: How genteel ! (rings him up) Thank you, Tim.
Tim: No, thank you, lovely lady. I shan't forget our first meeting.
Jaime: (narrating) It hit me KABOOM ! I did not see it coming, trust me. Yet in that moment of unexpected attraction, I knew this is what I had been missing my entire life. It only took one small change to set the wheels in motion.
Tim: (whistling 'My Girl' as he departs)
(scene fade)
Scene 5--Convincing Dad of the Narrow Path
Jaime: (narrating) Dad didn't seem too keen on the idea of looking for an actual position in the real world but seeing his past exes, including mom, started to change him. I even heard him singing of all things as he got ready for the day.
Gerry: (Singing 'Redeemed')
Jaime: Dad, that's not like you at all ! What's gotten into you ?
Gerry: Well, darlin', I was thinking about the automotive factory down the way. It's not too far from here and I'm old, but I'm not dead ! I can still do heavy physical labor.
Jaime: You're not just pulling my leg, right ?
Gerry: Nah. I've realized what I was doing was wrong. I've even been able to make friends with your mother again. Turns out she remarried, but oddly enough, I like the guy. Good Greek fella.
Jaime: You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would.
Gerry: I've come to the conclusion it's time for me to grow up. I've played around long enough.
Jaime: (hugging him) I couldn't be happier for you, or for us ! You'll never guess what's been happening to me. While you've been restarting your life, so to speak, I've found someone.
Gerry: (solemnly) I knew this day would come. Well, what's he like ?
Jaime: (narrating) I told dad everything I knew about Tim and his best friend and the news that Tim and I were getting married sometime around next year. It saddened him because he knew that it meant I would be able to get my own home. Somehow though, I knew I wouldn't ever be too far from Pleasant Meadows. Before I knew it, my life had transformed incredibly as well. Tim and I were in our own home and we had a little one on the way. Mom and dad were reconcilled as friends and would be active in our little girl's life. Everything, finally, was coming up roses and the past was no longer brought to mind. Of course, we nearly got caught by the police a couple times but fate spared us. Dad made restution to those he stole from and never again harmed anyone through falsehood. He was a changed man and I knew he was going to be a remarkable granddaddy.
(Credits roll 'Someone Who Needs Me' plays in the background followed by an instrumental version of 'You Are The Sunshine of my Life')
The End !
'All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players.'--Shakespere, 'As You Like It'
'Don't live your life for anyone else. Live your own adventure.'--Eve Baird to Cassandra, 'The Librarians: And the Final Curtain'
~*~CAST~*~
Jaime Alvarez:
Gerald 'Gerry' Alvarez:
Tea Ortiz: (ex #1)
Linda Pettigrew: (ex #2)
Mia Ling: (ex #3)
Henrietta 'Hetty' Nan: (ex #4)
Bea Alvarez-Stamos: (ex #5 and Jaime's mom)
Hermes Stamos: (Bea's husband)
Lydia Ricardo: (Jaime's best friend)
Geraldo Ricardo: (Jaime's husband)
Valentino 'Val' Ricardo: (eldest son)
Andromeda 'Anme' Ricardo: (youngest daughter)
Timothy 'Tim' King:
Leon Alistair: (Tim's best friend)
Scene 1--Growing up Grifter
Jaime: (narrating) If you wonder where we're going in our Winnebago, (sighs a bit sadly) I do too. It seems like the 10th time we've been going here and there. I know what we're running from. My dad, Lord love him, is a grifter. He lies for a living. Granted, it's not the most reputable way to make a living but I am hopeful I can convince him deception can be an enervating, dangerous and downright illegal before it is too late. I seem to have gotten myself delved into this life, whether I want to or not. (exhales sharply) There has to be a way out. I haven't found it, but I have to remain optimistic. For both my sake and dad's.
Gerry: (stopping at a nearby camp, full of weekend warriors) Why so glum, chum ?
Jaime: Nothing, dad. I was just thinking about getting a real job. You know, something I can sink my teeth into ? Get my hands dirty as the axiom goes ?
Gerry: Why would you ever want to do that ? We're making plenty of money being shysters. It's lucrative !
Jaime: Convincing as your argument is it hasn't really done wonders for you. Look at you. You've been through 5 marriages ! 5 !
Gerry: Marriage would just hold us back. We're a better dynamic duo. Cliche as it sounds, 3 is indeed a crowd.
Jaime: Maybe, but the Winnebago could use a woman's touch.
Gerry: (hugging her from the side) That's why I have you, my dear.
Jaime: You're hopeless. Clueless too, but I still love you.
Gerry: Have you heard anything from your jingle-writing friend ? You know, the one that writes songs about obscure holidays ?
Jaime: You mean Lydia ? I haven't heard from her since grade school. Last time we got together, she was superbly successful in marketing.
Gerry: You two need a girl's day out. Just like old times.
Jaime: I don't even have the money to afford such luxuries, dad.
Gerry: Lydia'll understand, she's a sensible gal. As for me, I'm gonna scope out the digs here, see if we can lay our steaks here.
Jaime: (hugs her father) Good luck. I'm calling Lydia and heading out. Have fun in the motorcade.
(Gerry starts to check out the area and get to know his neighbors. Strangely enough, he runs into all his exes, including his last wife and her newlywed spouse later on.)
Scene 2--Gal Time at the Mall
Jaime: (narrating) I hadn't seen Lydia for ages, but it was like we had never been separated. Even though my life as a huckster had nearly destroyed our friendship, she held on to hope that I would change and dad would be able to start anew. I have gotten away from his lifestyle and tried finding work, but it hasn't been easy. That's why she's trying to help me place my bread upon the waters, hoping it doesn't return soggy, or worse, completely drowned.
Lydia: I've got a good one to share with you !
Jaime: (chuckling) I can't wait to hear it. What's this song about this time ?
Lydia: (beaming) I have a plethora, this is just one of many ! Ahem. Arbor day.
Jaime: (arches an eyebrow) Arbor day ? Really ?
Lydia: I may be the first person to ever consider writing, in earnest, a true arbor day carol.
Jaime: (stifels a snicker) Only you would be so unique to do something so different. I love that you think differently from other people.
Lydia: It's what's gotten me so far in the realm of marketing. (effervescent grin)
(She sings her arbor day song loud, proud and on key, with an almost Broadway like finish)
Jaime: Cute, clever and darned catchy.
Lydia: Yeah, the muse, it's a funny thing, eh ? Everyone seems to adore these songs, too.
Jaime: How are Val and Anme ?
Lydia: Excelling in their classes. Val is training to become an imagineer. I never thought I'd be saying that, but it's something he's always wanted to do, ever since we took that trip to Disneyland.
Jaime: That's righteous ! So he's living his dream ! Awesome ! What about Anme ?
Lydia: Little Anme loves cosplay, the stars and knowledge. She has time for all three past-times. She is quite the seamstress, heavily influencing her costume designs with a steampunk flair. (shows off a photo)
Jaime: Oh my, those dresses are sumptous. They must take hours !
Lydia: With her jobs, she funds for all the material herself, but with the money she makes, it pays off the expense. I'm so proud of her. She's quite talented.
Jaime: I'd say. Those dresses are absolutely spellbinding.
Lydia: What do you say I treat us both to a manicure ? I think we both need it after a long day here. Hopefully we'll get a call back from those lovely people you handed your CV too, as well.
Jaime: Exactly. Once I have a proper job, I can finally pay you back.
Lydia: Jaime, you don't need to. Your friendship is enough, as well as your broad, gleaming smile ! (kisses her cheek) Plus I love ya.
Jaime: Don't be saying that too loudly so others can hear.
Lydia: (boisterously) I love this woman ! She is uber gorgeous ! (holds on to her) And, you can't have her ! Hear me ? No ! Mine !
Jaime: Oy, vey.
Lydia: You know you love my insanity.
Jaime: Indubitably.
(Scene mesh with Gerry nosing around the new neighborhood and being a bit of a snoop.)
Scene 3--Bumping Into Exes
Gerry: (stretching) So far, so good. No worries, no cares. No...way...
Tea: (a bit surprised) Hello, Gerry.
Gerry: (a bit nervous at first) Hello, Tea. Fancy meeting you here.
Linda: Would you look what the cat drug in !
Gerry: Hey, Linda.
Mia: (laughs) Oh, this is rich, ain't it ?
Gerry: Seriously ? God really has a weird sense of humor.
Hetty: Funny we should all be meeting here at Pleasant Meadows. We were all thinking of taking a vacation.
Gerry: Kill me now, God. Just put me out of my misery.
Bea: Gerry ! How is Jamie ?
Gerry: (lowering his head) Bea, I see you've settled down.
Bea: It's just a hoot and holler how we're back, all together again.
Hetty: What brings you to the Meadows ?
Mia: Oh yeah. I'd love to hear all about that.
(scene shift)
Jaime: Ahhh, this is paradise. (phone rings) Hello, this is Ms. Alvarez. Yes. Yes. Tomorrow ! Really ? Ah, fabulous ! Of course, 8:00 am. Bright and early. I'll be there. Thank you, you won't regret it !
Lydia: What was that all about ?
Jaime: That was just Mr. Ford at Old Navy. He thinks I'd be perfect for the position. I haven't cashiered in a while, but I'm certain those skills will come back easy as pie.
Lydia: You can do that in your sleep. Plus I've never seen anyone as welcoming as you. Go get 'em !
Jaime: I wouldn't have been able to do so if it hadn't been for you. (phone rings again)
Yes ? Dad, you sound bewildered. Oh....Ohhhh.
Lydia: Dad in trouble ?
Jaime: In a way, but no worries. I'll calm the storm. (looking at her manicure) Such a masterpiece. Thanks ! These will be perfect for my interview with Mr. Ford tomorrow. I'd love to stick around but I gotta jet.
Lydia: I gotcha. (places her hand on her shoulder and pats it) I know you can do it. I have all the faith in the world in you.
Jaime: (narrating) And I was glad she did. It was utter discord when I came back to the motorcade, I was able to smooth out all the rough edges and everyone was getting along masterfully. All it took was a woman's touch. Thank heaven, we wouldn't have to move.
Maybe things were starting to take a turn for the better ? I could only hope and pray they would.
(scene fade)
Scene 4--Unexpected Vision of Handsomeness
Jaime: (excitedly and full of optimism and enthusiasm) Mr. Ford, or he prefers to be called Robert or 'Bob', hired me in to work the same day ! How fortuitous ! I began my first day at work, loving every moment of it. It was like I had found where I belonged. Now I only needed to figure how I could get my dad to realize having a 'real job' was more important than leading people astray. So far, with the reconsilliation he had done with all of his exes, including my mom, Bea, had started him on the road to repentence. It will take time, like any good thing does, though.
Tim: (walking up and making a purchase) Hello, Jaime ! I'd like to buy these, if you would be so kind to ring me up.
Jaime: (It's Witchcraft plays in the background) Ho-holy mackarel...Sure thing ! (catches her breath, fumbles around a little, titters a bit)
Tim: (chuckling) You must be new. It's alright. Just take your time. Oh, and if you ever want to come over to the jewelry store, m'card, fair lady.
Jaime: How genteel ! (rings him up) Thank you, Tim.
Tim: No, thank you, lovely lady. I shan't forget our first meeting.
Jaime: (narrating) It hit me KABOOM ! I did not see it coming, trust me. Yet in that moment of unexpected attraction, I knew this is what I had been missing my entire life. It only took one small change to set the wheels in motion.
Tim: (whistling 'My Girl' as he departs)
(scene fade)
Scene 5--Convincing Dad of the Narrow Path
Jaime: (narrating) Dad didn't seem too keen on the idea of looking for an actual position in the real world but seeing his past exes, including mom, started to change him. I even heard him singing of all things as he got ready for the day.
Gerry: (Singing 'Redeemed')
Jaime: Dad, that's not like you at all ! What's gotten into you ?
Gerry: Well, darlin', I was thinking about the automotive factory down the way. It's not too far from here and I'm old, but I'm not dead ! I can still do heavy physical labor.
Jaime: You're not just pulling my leg, right ?
Gerry: Nah. I've realized what I was doing was wrong. I've even been able to make friends with your mother again. Turns out she remarried, but oddly enough, I like the guy. Good Greek fella.
Jaime: You're taking this a lot better than I thought you would.
Gerry: I've come to the conclusion it's time for me to grow up. I've played around long enough.
Jaime: (hugging him) I couldn't be happier for you, or for us ! You'll never guess what's been happening to me. While you've been restarting your life, so to speak, I've found someone.
Gerry: (solemnly) I knew this day would come. Well, what's he like ?
Jaime: (narrating) I told dad everything I knew about Tim and his best friend and the news that Tim and I were getting married sometime around next year. It saddened him because he knew that it meant I would be able to get my own home. Somehow though, I knew I wouldn't ever be too far from Pleasant Meadows. Before I knew it, my life had transformed incredibly as well. Tim and I were in our own home and we had a little one on the way. Mom and dad were reconcilled as friends and would be active in our little girl's life. Everything, finally, was coming up roses and the past was no longer brought to mind. Of course, we nearly got caught by the police a couple times but fate spared us. Dad made restution to those he stole from and never again harmed anyone through falsehood. He was a changed man and I knew he was going to be a remarkable granddaddy.
(Credits roll 'Someone Who Needs Me' plays in the background followed by an instrumental version of 'You Are The Sunshine of my Life')
The End !
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