Senshi Anonymous

Synopsis:   Men and women from all over the world, gifted with insane magic powers form Uberbot, the ultimate force for good.  

~*~CAST~*~

Tiffany Gleeson: (‘Sparkle twin #1’)

Vanessa Gleeson: (‘Sparkle twin #2’) 

Admiral Veer Patel: (‘The Recruiter’) 

Vice Admiral Sonja Patel: (‘The Informer/Trainer’)

Bahamat Patel: (The Trainer, in love with Mina)

Bully #1:

Bully#2:

Bully #3:

Bully #4:   

Mina ‘Kabuki’ Kotobuki: (One of the Senshi)

Nadia Baryshnikov:  (Another Senshi)

Michael Valdez: (Another Senshi, in love with Nadia)

Oskar Weiss:  (Another Senshi) 

Iris Bello: (Another Senshi, in love with Oskar)

Ramon Chavez: (Another Senshi, in love with Tiff)

Nathan Bloom: (Another Senshi, in love with Van)

Malvolo Inferna: (Head of Hellfire)

Diabla Inferna: (his wife) 

Pyro Inferna: (their son) 

Eris Inferna: (their daughter) 

Rancor Defoe: (Member of Hellfire, in love with Eris)

Lilith Necromancer: (Member of Hellfire, in love with Pyro)

Scene 1—Super Elite Magic Squadron

Bahamat:  (narrating)  I know what you’re thinking.   Yawn.  Bahamat, this is boring.  I want my well-earned paycheck back.   Before you exit and head for the doors, just hear me out.   It looks like I’m studying hard for my doctorate in business and economics but this is certainly not your ordinary day.   Just like any other summer in India, you never know when storm clouds are brewing and a monsoon will hit.  It’s like a one-two punch to the gut, and boy did I ever get clobbered.  

Bully #1:  If it isn’t Bahamat Patel, Mr. Perfect himself.

Bully #2:  Silver spoon in his mouth, stepped right out of Abercrombie. 

Bully #3:  Yo man, respect with that sick flow you got goin’ on, dog ! 

Bahamat:  I don’t know what your beef is with me, but I didn’t come looking for a fight.

Bully #1:  You wouldn’t be able to get dear old daddy dearest to pull your arse out of the fire anyways this time. 

Bahamat:  (they start to rush him but he has a change and goes through a rapid transformation.  He plays a flute without knowing it and the bullies walk away, completely mesmerized) 

Veer:  (disembodied voice)  You are only now awakening to your powers, son.  We’ll speak of this more the moment you arrive home. 

Bahamat:  (aside to himself, almost too loudly so other passersby hear it and give him scrutiny) We’d better, because you never mentioned magical powers before I became an adult !   (narrating)  I always knew my parents and I were telepathic but something deeper was happening here.   The thick plottens, my friends. 

Veer:  Bahamat, dinner’s ready. 

Bahamat: (inhaling deeply)  It smells divine as usual. 

Sonja:  This is more than a mere dinner though.

Bahamat:  It’s about what just occurred, isn’t it ?

Veer:  My genius son !  (claps hand on shoulder)  Yes.  There are more like yourself in the world.  

Sonja:  Your dad is a bit like Professor Xavier in finding them too.  You are the first. 

Bahamat:  How will we reach the rest of this Super Magical Squadron though ?

Sonja:  Firstly, that name, it’s way too long, even though a very apt one. 

Veer:  I was thinking Senshi Anonymous.

Bah:  Like in anime ?  (eyes widen)  My wildest dreams come true.  

Sonja:  (laughs)  Yes, exactly like that.   Our team is working on reviving an old mech lost to time called Uberbot. 

Bah:  (nearly drooling)  Uberbot ?  That’s flippin sick !   When do I start piloting ?

Veer:  First things first.  Uberbot was used eons ago to save our planet from attack.  It is heavily damaged and in need of repairs.   

Sonja:  We have a team refurbishing it.   You are already connected to it, but the piloting lessons will come later. 

Bah:  (victorious gesture)  YES !   Sweetness.  (pause)  What about other senshi ?

Veer: Oh they’re out there.  I sense them.  In fact, I feel they’re needed.  There has been a report of another group like SA named Hellfire.  They’re underground but I’ve detected their energy signatures.  They’re highly sinister.  They’re our antithesis. 

Bah:  Sounds spooky.   I know I sounded all gung ho about this earlier but I don’t know if I am ready to fight, honestly. 

Sonja:  (gently, stroking his hair)  My dear beloved boy, you won’t be doing this alone.  Veer will call the other senshi and they’ll join you.   We’ll train you and you’ll spar with them.  

Veer:  (a bit shakily, slight anxiety)  Only thing is we have no time to dally.  Hellfire is starting out small with petty crimes.  

Sonja:  And they have a mech. 

Bah:  (rolls eyes)  Figures.  Did it survive a war from long ago ? 

Sonja:  Yes, and it was that very mech that fought Uberbot to save our planet from the clutches of Hellfire’s sinister ways. 

Bah:  How epic !  

Sonja:  It’s not all fun and games though, this is serious business.  

Veer:   Sonja my darling, I must recruit the others as soon as I can.   (pulls her close and kisses her deeply) 

Sonja:  Best of everything.  I’ll gather the reinforcements and create our HQ.

Bah: (to himself)  HQ !  We were going to create our very own, high-tech, out of this world headquarters !   All my prepubescent fantasies were culminating in reality.  Ah, yes.  It was certainly every otaku’s wildest dream come true.

(Scene fade)

Scene 2—The Call

Tiffany:   (full of vigor and self-esteem)   I’m gonna beat you into next week, Van !

Van:  (laughing manically)  You wish, Tiff !   You have yet to best me at ping pong !   I’m much faster !   Much more svelte and aerodynamic !

Tiffany:   Van, we’re evenly matched.  You know that ! 

(Gives her the ‘twin secret handshake’)  

Veer:  (gentle, encouragingly, from a temple in a deep trance state)   Tiffany, Vanessa Gleeson.  You twins have been chosen to accept a mission unlike any other.  

Tiff:  Van, do you hear that voice ? 

Van:  Yeah, sure do.  What do you know ?   How unusual ! 

Veer:   Don’t question it girls.   The fate of the world, maybe even the entire universe is in your capable and athletic hands.

Tiff:  (raising an eyebrow)  Well we both can’t be bonkers if we’re both hearing the same voice, right ?  

Van:  No, but what should we do ?

Tiff:  Something tells me we should hold hands.

Van:  (snickers)  At least no one can see us do it from here, they’d start making accusations. 

Tiff:  Even if they did, let ‘em ! 

(They do so and they’re transported to a Senshi Anonymous Headquarters.  Veer and Sonja greet them.)

Veer/Sonja:  Welcome to Senshi Anonymous ! 

Veer:  I’m Admiral Veer Patel.

Sonja:  I’m his wife, Vice Admiral Sonja. 
Bah:  I’m Bahamat.  I’ll be training the lot of you.  (narrating)  With all of our new recruits, I wasn’t really certain of where to begin.   I had watched plenty of magical girl animes growing up but it didn’t prepare me for the diversity of personalities I was about to face.  

(A training sequence done to the incredible background music of either Hunter X Hunter or Akame ga Kill.)  

Scene 3—Uberbot Sims

Mina:  Hey, I really think we’re getting the hang of this. 

Veer:  (totally entranced)  Hmm, yes.  I agree. 

Sparkle twins:  We’re gonna hit a wall !    Watch out ! 

Nathan:  (narrowly dodges with quick thinking and impressive reaction skills)  Whew.  Too close.  Had that been an actual battle we might be missing a few parts. 

Ramon:  (crossing himself)  Dios Mio !  You guys, you nearly gave me a freaking coronary. 

Tiff:  Ah, come on Ramon.  Veer didn’t mean to. 
Veer:  Not at all.  I’m learning, just like all of you.  (narrating)  I had to remember I couldn’t become distracted by Mina’s beatific face during our sims.  We would have to battle Hellfire sooner or later.   When that time came, we would be ready and nothing would stand in our way of victory.  

(‘SA’ Theme Song plays, instrumental version ,remix) 

(Scene fade)

Scene 4—Striking While the Iron is Hot

Mal:  Diabla.  I think it is time for a preliminary strike

Diabla:  While Uberbot is powered down ?  But that will give us an unfair advantage.  (smirks devilishly)
Mal:  Precisely. 

Pyro:  I have dreamt of his evening, mother.

Eris:  As have I.  The destruction and chaos beckon.  I can’t wait to stain Hellfire’s hands with blood, particularly the mangled remains of those pansy Senshi ! 

Rancor:   We’ll have our chance soon enough, Eris.   Seeing you covered in gore, entrails and blood will be incredibly sexy too, my little viper. 

(Rancor dips Eris and passionately French kisses her.)  

Scene 4—Let the Battle Commence

(Scene shift) 

(‘Firestarter’ plays as Hellfire transforms and then form their mech.  They taunt the Senshi into battle.  They watch them go through their transformation sequence to the Iron-Clad Orphans’ opening.) 

Mal:  You were weak before, and you’ll be weak again. 

(Even before they can land a punch on Hellfire, they are knocked back, hard.   They have to move the battle elsewhere so no one gets hurt in the crossfire of their battle.) 

(‘Hellfire Throwdown Rap’ is sung/rapped and the Senshi look like they’ve been beaten but they aren’t giving up despite the fact Hellfire fights low down and dirty.)

Iris:  Guys, I don’t know how much more of a pounding we can take.  

Bah:  I wasn’t wrong in my vision about all of us.   This is a battle we can’t afford to lose. 

Kabuki:  Veer’s right.  We have so much to live for.

Oskar:  So many places to visit, so much to do.  

Michael:  So many concerts to attend. 

Nadia:  So much music not yet heard, movies left unseen !  Guys, blockbuster month isn’t that far away !

Bah:  That’s right !  Don’t give up ! 

(They fight and start to beat Hellfire to a rousing funk song ‘Get On Up and Dance’ and they beat the tar out of them, ultimately defeating them.   Hellfire has lost their only mode of transportation, and they won’t go down without sparring with the Senshi.)

Mal:  This is far from over, you worthless twats ! 

Michael:  You kiss your mom with that mouth ?  How foul ! 

Diabla:  He does more than kiss his mother with that smoocher of his.  (wiggles eyebrows suggestively) 

Ramon:  Ay, Chihuahua.  Those unholy images will never leave my psyche.  I think I’m scarred for life.  

Nathan:  Shouldn’t we just shake hands and be done with this fight ?  I mean, look at Hellfire, they barely have enough stamina to stand, let alone battle. 

Eris:  Stuff it, Senshi !  We could beat you all, one hand tied behind our back ! 

Rancor:  We’d bust your ass in so many pieces you’d need gorilla glue just to put it back together !  

Mal:  Ah, no.  There would be no recovery.  We’d screw up their substrates.  You never come back from that.  Corrupt is corrupt ! 

Nadia:  I’m tired of getting beaten down by their insults.   Besides, if we don’t win this battle, they’ll keep coming back.   Their mech can never be recovered, not after the strife it endured.  

Mal:  A minor setback at most.   Go ahead and kill us. 

Pyro:  What ?  No !   Just because we’re evil doesn’t mean we can’t be reformed.  Maybe not pop, he’s stone-cold sinister.  But me, yeah.  I don’t wanna go to jail.  I mean, look at my face.  This baby-face is gonna get porked in the ass !   I say no way, Jose.   No sausage for this hunky homeboy.  Nuh-uh ! 

Lilith:  Pyro does have a point.  Despite my namesake, I too, don’t wish to wear orange for the rest of my natural life.  I do have hobbies and a lifestyle I wish to begin.  After all, my needlepoint is really starting to improve.

Pyro:  (endearingly)  You do needlepoint ?   That’s so soft, cute and girly.  Never took you for the type !

Lilith:  That’s because we were with Hellfire trying to destroy the world, rule it or both. 

Mal:  And we would’ve gotten away with it too, had it not been for you meddling Senshi !

Diabla:  Curse you !   (shakes fist)  Curse you all, you gimpy, gauche snot lickers !  Your mothers were floozies and you smell worse than garlic farts ! 

Oskar: (ghetto toned, incensed) Aw, hell nah.  You talk smack about my momma, I’m about to throw down, bitch.

Iris:  Oskar, no.  No more brawling. 

Oskar:  (let down)  Besides, I don’t hit women, even if they are evil.  

Veer:  I have an idea.   Any further strife is definitely out. 

Bah:  Thank heaven.  My dad really is the voice of reason. 

Sonja:  They should serve the community.  As for Lil and Pyro, grant them their request.  Send them to a reform school, have them work off their debt to the community.  Restitution will be made.  

Bah:  (narrating)  And so, that was that.  After what seemed to have been an extensive fight, we didn’t have to scuffle any longer.   Hellfire was disbanded and strangely enough, they turned into good people.   They had simply been misunderstood and scrutinized all their lives.   Like me, they had been bullied and fell in with the wrong crowd of people who exploited them and preyed upon their want of acceptance and belonging.   The pull can be too much for some to bear when the wrong intentions are met out.   We never thought we would be using our abilities for good anymore and Uberbot was put into dry dock to fight another day.   We were certain there would come a time where the Senshi would have to form Uberbot, but not anytime soon.  That’s why my mom and dad continued to have Senshi Anonymous, where we would train during our time off.   One never knew when evil would rear its ugly head again.  We would have to be prepared for that day when it came.   For now, we enjoyed our existence, hidden under the radar after our salad days of glory had come and gone.  The media, fickle beast that it is, moved on so flippantly after we had just saved the world (put off).  Uh, thank you very much, Senshi.   (scoffs)  That would’ve been a pleasant bonus.   I’m not one to be angry anyway, takes up too much time and really messes with one’s blood pressure.   My life is much happier now.  My international friends are still my closest extended family.  We talk quite a bit on Skype and I have even visited their home countries.   I had the privilege of going to Japan to see Mina and meeting her parents.  After all, we had become a commodity when Hellfire attacked, but we fell in love during the battle.  The relationship endured beyond that, and we knew it was a sure thing that we would be together long after that, come what may. 

Kabuki: (narrating)  We had grown older, but we continued being Senshi.   Someone had to in order to protect the world from devastation.

Bah:  Uniting all people in the Senshi nation.  (They both laugh) 

Kabuki:  Ah, it’s so cliché and anime, it’s not even funny.

Bah:  But it’s so true of our cause.   We wouldn’t’ want it any other way.  Keeps us on our toes.  

Kabuki:  We still have our whole lives ahead of us, carrying on our legacy as we go.   Who knows if we will pass it down to our children, should we have them ?  

Bah: Only one constant remains for certain, we look hot thwarting evil. 

Kabuki:  (nodding)  That’s true, no one does it better, either.

(There is a montage done to ‘I Am a Pioneer’, drawing upon my nostalgia for exceptional, high-class anime.  We see our heroes and heroines going about their lives and having a blast training.  Photos are shown of marriages, kids, birthday parties, roller skating hijinks and festivals all around the world, especially with Mina and Bah.  Thanks to those who inspired this zany, crafty work of mine and the friends that made it possible.  Also, thanks to Japan for the inspiration.  Arigatou !)