Universal Brawlers
Synopsis:
Continuing from "Xylem, Squelcher of Joy", the gang travels
to Armstone City to meet the world-famous fashion designer Honey.
Intrigued by the girl and her friends, Zordon asks for a tour of the
city.
‘You’ve
already lost ! You’ve acquiesced to the board by showing it your
hesitation. You shouldn’t be afraid of the board ! The board
should be afraid of YOU !’--Pai Mai, Kill Bill, Vol. 2
“Lay
on, Macduff, and damned be he who first cries, hold, enough
!”--Professor, originally from MacBeth as written by Shakespeare,
Johnny Dixon, The Curse of the Blue Figurine
Chapter
1—A Trip to Armstone City
Summer
was just around the corner and the Rangers as well as the gang had
seen most of the 50 states. They had been to different countries
even with their little ones in toe. They had plenty of tales for
‘How I Spent My Summer Vacation’ to tell next year in school to
impress their instructors but they all longed for something
different. One day, Pepper and the other bots were playing a
rousing game of Mario Kart together when an ad popped for Armstone
City. Honey, the world-renowned fashion designer, struck a
dazzling profile on the rectangular pop-up, with a pair of aviators
lowered in a cheeky manner.
‘Ahh
! That’s what I want to do when I grow up ! I’d love to work
on designs for clothing, houses, even video games in my spare time.
I have a head full of ideas and I’m itchin’ to give design a
whirl.’, Paprika Ruebens said. Only recently, a lesser, even
obscure member of CEC had shown up. Her name was Sassy Sashay. As
a skunk, she was often ostracized and unincluded from, well, nearly
everything. Being descented though, made things slightly
better. She gave off a rose scent when happy or deeply in love, but
this southern belle from Biloxy, Missouri was more than happy to
apply for the ranks of Ranger and hoped that her Krav Naga skills
would come into effect for any battle ahead of her.
Although
this fashion exhibition was opening, it seemed rather unusual that
other people were involved with it. Multinational companies hoping
to score big samoleons and one inter-dimensional being in mind. His
name was Shang Tsung. He wanted to bring together all the best
fighters and have them duke it out, not for a ‘mortal combat’ but
more so a test of might and skill to see which brawler had the most
potential. They would be coming away with more money than what
Honey would be offering, so the purse was attractive.
‘I
will give them an invitation. Once they sign, a portal will deliver
them here to the arena. Karin most likely will be among them, as
well as the Skullgirls and the Darkstalkers. To be frank, I
honestly can’t see who wins my competition !’, Shang thought.
Besides, his perverse fandom desires were about to be granted, even
with properties that weren’t within the same franchise. He’d be
putting the trolls from Homestuck in as well, but Gamzee and Caliborn
would have to be monitored almost exclusively so no one got murdered
in the contest.
Chapter
2—Heading to Armstone
‘You
are cordially invited to take place in a Universal Brawl, one
spanning multiple formats, multiple universes, and multiple
species.’, the note read. Jason knew this might put a cramp on
the group’s plan to go to Armstrong City but Zordon had already
gotten the itinerary prepared. He had been able to practice
meditation long enough to solidify his Wizard form and walk among
them for a good 3 days at most. Before long, he would be able to
break free from his confinement and then Rita and Zedd, along with
many minions of evil, would be begging to be confined eternally
themselves.
‘Zordon,
I can’t agree to go along with this just yet.’, Jason said,
showing him the golden scroll. For an invitation, it was written in
glittering filigree that caught the light and glinted whenever it was
moved about.
‘I
know about the invitations. I even got one. I know this
Shang fellow and though I am aware he is mercurial in temperament,
something tells me he is sincere about this ‘competition’ he is
holding. For now, we will be visiting Armstone city and Honey. It
will be educational for us all, especially the future designers of
the group.’, Zordon said. It was with that decision that Zordon
set up a flight for the entire family and they jet set all the way to
Armstrong. Firstly, they were all tuckered out from the trip itself
and had decided to rest for the remainder of the evening.
The
next day, Honey herself had met them outside of her entrancing villa.
She was decked out in a white hat, round dark sunglasses and the
most gorgeous yellow maxi sundress. Her sandals were decorated with
seashells. To some of the girls, it was painful just seeing her
walk in those stilettos, but she made it look effortless.
'Incredible
!', Helen squawked in elation
'You
should see my world-famous red dress !', Honey exclaimed.
Paprika
Ruebens was even more starstruck by the starlet than anyone else who
had come. She had brought along a portfolio she had begun working
on, chock full of designs she
had taken from magazines, many photo shoots that Honey had done
herself. She even had a sketchbook that was rife with doodles and
scribbles of her own dresses, shoes, shirts, pants and even
swimsuits. She came up to Honey, shyly at first and began to gush
about how much she admired her. Honey wasn’t snobby,
snooty or arrogant. She was tickled fuchsia at the chance for a fan
to learn from her and develop her own style.
Chapter
3—Tour Interrupted
Armstone
City was a marvel of technology,
haute couture and high fashion. Even if most of the Rangers and
bots weren’t a fan of some of those things, they gushed over the
new technology and how it was changing the city for the better.
Honey enjoyed displaying each centerpiece to the onlookers and
explaining it as she continued from one gadget to the next.
Suddenly, there was an earthquake. A freak flash of lightning
struck the ground, and a portal appeared. If that wasn’t strange
enough, there were hooded monks spiriting away the fighters of the
group. Paprika was among them and she was starting to feel quite
frightened.
‘Where are you taking us ?’, she demanded, but politely. She
was left with a refrain of silence until all of them were greeted by
Kitana, Mileena, Sonja and all of the characters of Mortal Kombat.
They were greeted by old school brawlers like that of King of
Fighters, Street Fighter, Art of Fighting, Tekken and Toshiden.
Skullgirls took the stage along with Darkstalkers, fitting right in.
Final Fight’s Hagar was present, looking as fit and tough as ever.
In Shang Tsung’s realm, everyone looked the same, but there was
no purpose as to why they were all there to begin with.
Chapter 4—Test Your Might
Before anyone had a chance to speak, Shang explained himself. This
wasn’t a ‘normal’ Mortal Kombat where combatants were risking
their very lives when they fought. No, this was to be a test of
might. The participants would first prove how many boards they
could break. Whoever passed round one would advance to the next
platform, where the battles would occur.
‘There’s a ton of prize money available. I caught a glimpse of
one of the fliers Shang had printed. Shao Khan looks ridiculous
doing that Macho Man Randy Savage pose. I’d be more intimidated
of him if he wasn’t mugging for the camera like that.’, Magic
Screen laughed.
Quite a few of the regular fighters were getting weeded out due to
the board breaking challenge. Another hooded monk stopped the
competition and whispered something to Shang.
‘It’s come to my attention that the stages have been expanded.
Second tier challenge will be the bottle cap knock off. Some of
you have passed the first level without even breaking a sweat, which
is why the council has decided to make it even more arduous to win
first place.’, Shao explained. Shang felt this was unnecessary,
but it was certainly an intriguing, albeit, unfair, development.
Chapter 5—The Bottle Cap Challenge
Most participants had gotten through wood breaking without much
trouble. There had been a handful of warriors who had come into the
second tier of the challenge feeling cocky. However, the bottle cap
challenge separated the men from the boys, so to speak.
‘Alright. Everyone ready ?’, a Havoline monk, asking as referee
prompted. Just as before, there were two fighters standing behind a
bottle of Tequila, ready to knock its cap off. It was Mai Shiranui
versus Chun Li. Both were amply matched but in this case, Mai had
the upper hand and Chun had to depart through the portal, back to her
homeland of China. She didn’t do this without some of the
fighters giving her a tearful goodbye.
‘You had a superb run. That challenge is daunting for anyone,
Li.’, Sakura said, hugging her idol. Zangief wasn’t one to
admit that he became verklempt at times, but he cried buckets of
tears at his best friend other than Ryu leaving him behind.
‘Promise me you’ll make me stroganauff when I come back
victorious !’, he yelled across the void.
‘It’s a promise !’, Chun Li responded brightly in perfect
Russian.
‘Who would’ve thought those two would be such good friends.
How endearing. Right, back to the competition !’, Peacock
commented, observantly. Her match was going to be against
Morrigan. Things were about to become interesting.
It seemed that the challenge lasted for days and there were breaks
and times of rest and recuperation in between. Shao Khan was a
little annoyed because he had to ask his monks to prepare food for
the combatants.
‘It’s not like you’re hurting for money, master. Besides,
think of this as a reprieve from all your formerly dastardly deeds.
You’re not straight up murdering people like the psychopath you
are. You have some redeeming qualities. I knew you always did,
master.’, the monk said, adulating him. Shao sighed.
‘Shang ! We need a four course meal. Stat !’, he commanded
his toady. Shang sprung into action and got everything set up
lickety-split. Everyone had savored the meal and how lavish it
was. There was a little something for everyone so no one was left
out. Even the vegans of the group were treated like royalty.
At long last, those who had won the challenge had moved on to the
third and final tier of the competition. Those who had lost were
sent back home, savoring the minutia and monotony that accompanied
it.
Chapter 6—I Know You Said No Fatalities, But…
Scarlet was out for blood, literally. She wasn’t one to adhere
to rules or constructs. She was an entity that lived from and out
of blood, absorbing all she could of its life essence. She had
wondered if the blood of toons would grand her immortality. The
only way to tell was to go into combat with one of the many cartoons
that had been chosen to participate.
It
was a motley crew of characters, each more colorful than the last.
All Scarlet had to do was figure out which toon's blood had the
sweetest taste. She hit the jackpot the first
time with a toon named Vanellope Von Schweetz. Zordon had to point
out that excessive force in combat was squarely against the rules but
Scarlet couldn’t be stopped. She had become so strong that
Vanellope was a shell of her former self. Her color had literally
bled out of her decorative sweets and turquoise accoutrement. Ralph
was furious.
‘What did you do
to her ?!’, he demanded. Calhoun wasn’t looking very pleased
either, because had it not been for Vanellope, she never would’ve
met Felix and they wouldn’t have their massive family. She had
been the catalyst for her dream of becoming a mother to become
fulfilled.
‘I soaked up her
delicious blood. I would have sucked up every last drop, but you
had to stop me.’, Scarlet
said, becoming angry. With Vanellope’s blood, she had been
granted new abilities. She was near to invincible and despite Shao
and Shang disqualifying her from the tournament, she had an
uncontrollable blood lust. Scarlet had no
desire to listen to anyone. Nearly forgotten cartoons such as
Shezow, Dudepow, Randy Cunningham (in ninja form), Dan and the gang
from Packages from Planet X and even Penn Zero. It was interesting
to see Penn and Dan since they were so similar and their abilities
were akin but Dan’s talents came from otherworldly objects
accidentally sent by the Evil Doctor from the mysterious Planet X.
Little did he or his strange gibbon sidekick Kalimari know that they
were actually aiding Dan.
Even Elena from
Avalor had made an appearance.
‘Alright,
now could someone PLEASE tell me how we can stop this sanguinary
crazed witch !’, she said, while Scarlet tried to claw, swipe and
even bite her. Scorpion, who had a bad reputation
had witnessed Scarlet’s direct disregard and disobedience. She
was unreasonable to the point of being manic, unreachable and
frankly, psychotic. When he had pulled her over with his chain
scythe, she licked her lips and cackled.
‘If
you wanted a fight so badly, you could’ve just asked me,
arachno-boy.’, she smirked, beginning to fight recklessly with him.
She couldn’t hold him back and the others fought back as well as
they could. Given her new powers, she was nearly indestructible
until Minnie poured ‘dip’ on her. Dip was a mixture of
turpentine, acetone and paint thinner. It was the only thing that
could kill toons. Shrieking in pain and misery, Scarlet retreated
and relented, reverting to her blood form.
‘You
haven’t seen or heard the last of me. One of these days I’m
going to bleed all of you dry and at last, I will have the
immortality I desire !’, she vowed, her
eerie laughter echoing from the sewers where she had literally rode
the waves of freedom until an opportune time returned for her to
battle against the toons again.
Chapter
7—Down to the Last Two
Warriors
It
had been an arduous competition and nearly all of the fighters had
been beaten, only to be sent home to watch the action from their
mobile devices at home, whether it was on a phone or via a laptop
that had a good, stable 5G connection to the Internet.
The
last contestants standing were Pepper the Robot and the hauntingly
gross and beautiful Double. Double was the most unusual,
mysterious and strongest fighter among the SkullGirls and she had
beaten everyone in her
path. She was a woman of few words and was itching to fight
Pepper. She had fought Ms. Fortune’s robotic version, known as
Robo Fortune. That skirmish had been child’s play. Looking at
Pepper and her feminine, soft features, she figured she had the
battle in the bag.
‘Alright
you two, I don’t want any spilling of blood. No hitting below the
belt. Let’s get it ON !’, said the retired referee from
Celebrity Death Match. It brought a nostalgic tear into Zack’s
eye to see that referee again and knowing that even though the codger
had retired, he still had
the zing to referee a match, even if it was in the OtherWorld.
Double
was freakish to watch but there was something poetic about her
ballet-like movements. The aesthetic of how flexible and stretchy
her flesh was indeed was impressive. Even though Pepper was
outmatched, she fought her hardest and for once in her lifetime,
actually lost. Double found herself catching her breath but shook
Pepper’s hand. No one knew that there was a consultation prize
for ‘second’ and ‘third’ place in the competition. It wasn’t
nearly the amount that the
first place winner received but it was still a lot of money that the
Rangers could use for new equipment, upgrades to their mechs and
battle uniforms. Whatever was leftover, that would be given to
charity.
Chapter
8—The Fashion Queen Waits
The
Warriors were thanked for their time. Many of the contestants had
been returned to whatever Universe they had originated from. The
Rangers had requested to return to Armstone, since they hadn’t even
had a proper tour of the city yet. It seemed that nothing had
changed. Honey was a bit beside herself.
‘Would
you mind explaining what the devil just happened ?’, she inquired,
her confused expression saying more than words could ever convey.
‘A
tournament just as unbelievable as the Viper tournament !’, Chuck
exclaimed. He conveyed all of the match-ups in perfect rashommen
fashion.
Armstone
was as lavish as everyone thought it would be. Many people’s
expectations were blown out of the water when they saw everything
that Armstone had to offer. There were plenty of activities and by
the end of the day when everyone was starving, Honey offered to serve
them a lavish dinner.
The
Rangers were used to eating incredibly savory meals but nothing like
what Honey had to offer them. She had only the finest of dining.
It was only a small twinge in her pocketbook but no expense was too
high to make certain her friends were walking away with full bellies
and plenty of experiences to remember forever.
‘I
wish I could’ve seen the tournament for myself. It really sounds
like it was a knock down, drag out brawl !’, she said, a bit
envious. But then she mentioned it probably would’ve ended
breaking her stilettos or nails. Even then, it wouldn’t have been
a bother but thrilling.
‘I
don’t want to leave ! Tell me, Paprika, would you like an
internship ?’, she asked. Paprika Rubens couldn’t believe her
ears. Her work wasn’t ready for the professional world yet but
apparently, Honey saw glimmers of true talent and wanted to
capitalize on it. Technically she was on holiday, so her parents
allowed it, even though she would be away from the Rangers.
‘If
there is an emergency, I will join the Rangers tout suite.’, she
said, vowing, and saluting proudly.
‘That’s
our Paprika !’, Spike stated with a grin. Spike couldn’t help
but feel a sense of pride himself with his own family. All the
Rangers had their own brood by now but each and every one of them was
growing every day. They weren’t children any longer. Some of
them wished they could remain as kids, but many of them knew so long
as they kept their imaginations active anything and everything
was possible.
Epilogue
With what money Pepper had won from the tournament not spent on
upgrades and amenities, the latter was used for updating the parks.
There were new lands built, like Caravan, which was basically
Disney doing what it could to emulate the United Arab Emirates.
They offered all sorts of ethnic food and a genuine open-air market
experience. One could even haggle if they liked. Then, there was
a Muppetland, an idea that originally was scrapped. Given
the popularity of the Muppets, the extension theme park was opened to
raving crowds and instantly became 10 times more popular than
Universal’s Harry Potter theme park and Galaxy’s Edge
combined. There was a Hard Rock park, a renewed
Tomorrowland and STEAMpunk Adventure which featured
science, technology, engineering, art and math. It was clever how
they sneaked edutainment into the mix, but Disney had been doing that
since its inception. That was nothing new or different.
With the new lands to explore, the Rangers found themselves dizzy,
especially in Pixar Pier. They had seen everything new the
parks had to offer but then had to return to Angel Grove after a
long, tiring but enjoyable day goofing around with mouse earred
headbands.
As they slept, an eldritch abomination slurped and sloshed,
regaining her form. Emerging from the muck and mire and smelling
horrible, she sneered.
‘I will stop at nothing to gain immortality. All toons will be
bled dry if its the last thing I ever do. I do not care if such
blood magik is forbidden, illegal or evil. Immortality is
MINE to gain alone.’, Skarlet muttered to herself. Now she had to
wash all the offal, trash and mud from her person before
recuperating. She had no idea where the toons were but given her
acute sense of direction and uncanny ability to smell blood,
something told her there were some nearby. All she had to do was
wait.
To Be Continued…
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