The Fiasco of Play Robot

Synopsis: SICO reveals that she was once a fashion model (think Grace from Fighting Vipers); she was in one of the pages of an issue of PlayRobot Magazine that Conky read years ago when Herman and Yvonne played airplane with the gang.This particular magazine has no nudes, though. SICO's old photo appears on the internet, making every adult male robot go mad with lust over Conky's wife.

This makes Conky a bit angry at the robot men.

Chapter 1--SICO Has ‘Splainin’ to Do

It had been a calm, relaxing spring break until some spring cleaning was done around Conky’s mansion ‘Conky’s Playhouse’ as Pee-Wee affectionately labeled it.   He shrieked in horror at a copy of PlayBot he had found in an old dusty box. Luckily the children were away on a day trip to Universal Studios or they would’ve rushed to his side.

‘SICO !  What on Earth is this ?’, he asked, clearly trying to keep his voice level.   His rage was definitely apparent though.

‘I never told you but before I was a model for PlayBot.  I was dignified though, I never did any nude shots.’, SICO stated, unashamed of her past.   Conky was clearly shaken. He thought SICO had told him everything from the moment they had been married up to now, but everyone had secrets.  

‘I’m sorry.  I didn’t expect for you to find out this way.’, SICO stated, with some regret.    Conky held her close and lifted her countenance to face his.

‘It’s in the past.   I don’t fault you for it.   No shame and no harm has been done.’, he said, kissing her.   He planned on having that issue burned later on that night and roast some smores on it, never seeing hide nor hair of it ever again.  

Chapter 2--Worst Fear Realized

Conky had come to the workplace, minding his own business when a new robot worker had pulled up some racy photos.   Sure enough, it was the issue of PlayBot that he had torched the other night.

‘Someone must’ve gotten a hold of those photos somehow.’, he thought.   He was even more mortified as he looked in his inbox and found SICO’s email bursting with comments and proposals even though they knew she was married.   He then recalled a very pushy robot named Samson who had wanted to tie the knot with SICO in more ways than one. SICO didn’t like his advances and even had to put a restraining order on him.   Samson didn’t know where she lived but apparently he had the last existing copy of the issue where SICO had been featured as a centerfold.

‘This has got to stop.   I’m going to need all the help I can get if I want our reputation back.  People are going to think SICO is unfaithful when she isn’t. Of course, the kids can’t know either, or they’ll be ruined.’, he thought to himself.  Murphy’s Law was certainly in effect here, but Conky knew with the help of his friends, everything was going to be right as rain sooner or later.

Chapter 3--Robot to Robot

Herman Reubens, or "Pee-Wee Herman" as he was known professionally, answered the Picture Phone's ringing as he usually did on his old show, Pee-wee's Playhouse.

'Pee-wee's Playhouse. Pee-wee speaking.', Herman said.

'Herman, it's me, Conky. Call the Rangers. We need to meet at Ranger HQ, this is urgent. It's about my wife's old PlayBot photos. Several coworkers are making unwanted advices on her. We need to get to the bottom of this and fast ! I love my wife !', Conky 2000 stated, tearing up a bit.

In no time, the Rangers rushed to action and found that there was one robot that had caused this to happen.   He had been in love with SICO at one time. His name was Botley and he had been the recipient of unrequited love in junior high.

‘What’s the meaning of this ?  What possessed you to sink this low ?’, Conky said, raging at the professional hacker.   

‘I wanted to get her to notice me but she never would.  She was always so popular.’, Botley whined slightly.

‘You were pushy, impolite and perverse.  None of the girls wanted anything to do with you !’, SICO said, her bluntness cutting like a knife.   The other robots that had harassed her would have to be fired and Botley would have to go to court but at least they knew why he had done it.

‘I want you to erase what you’ve done.   After we have our court date, you’re fired.’, Conky said.   Botley was genuinely sorry for what he had done but he knew he had violated a cardinal rule.   With some sadness, he erased his company hack and took all of his valuables as he left. The other robots that worked for the company were sad to see him go because he was a valuable employee but he would have to think that over after he had been sentenced for his crimes.   

Chapter 4--In the Cloud

Yet, the information was still in the cloud and SICO was getting harassing emails.   It was so bad that she had to create an entirely new account. Conky got fed up and contacted Microsoft who only had one response,

‘Dude, it’s in the Cloud.  Nothing much we can do.  These things tend to blow over though.   Give it time, passions will cool eventually.’  the executive tech said.

'But this is about my wife's safety and privacy !', Conky stated.   The tech shrugged.

‘Nothin’ I can do man.  Major bummer.’, he said, walking away.   Conky fumed for a moment. SICO placed her manacle on his shoulder.

‘Zordon can fix this.  I know it. Come on, let’s see if he can clean this mess up.’, she said, schlepping him behind her.   

Alpha 5 shook his head.  

‘Ay yi yi yi.  It really is a catastrophe.’, he began.  As soon as he saw Conky and SICO coming in the door he put his hands to his lips.

‘Don’t worry, we know so no words are needed.’, SICO said.   Her tears had come to an end. She wasn’t fretting since Zordon knew the situation.  Botley and the other robots had been terminated for their behavior but he knew the true issue was locked in the permanent storage unit only called ‘The Cloud’.   

‘You forget I’m a wizard...I can do whatever I want.    I have enough power to actually enter the cloud. I’ll talk to the Gatekeeper.’, Zordon said.

‘Wait.  What ?’, Adam questioned, raising an eyebrow.

‘Since when is there a gatekeeper to the Cloud ?  Is this Valhalla ?’, Dot asked.

‘In a way, it’s similar in how it is protected from attack.’, Zordon said, astutely.   With that, he bade them goodbye and went on his merry way.

In his normal human form, Zordon breached the cloud and was met by Techdal.   Techdal leaned on his ornate hammer, fashioned out of gleaming pieces of different technology, shimmering, shining and glowing with vital energy.   He seemed very calm and unbelievably cool.

‘Stop, wizard.  What do you seek here in the Cloud ?’, Techdal questioned.

‘I seek an audience with you.   You see, there’s a little bit of a problem.’, Zordon began.   Techdal leaned closer, drinking in every word.

‘Go on.’, he said, listening intently.    Zordon reiterated what had happened to Conky and SICO.

‘Man, that’s heavy.   Let me get straight on that.’, Techdal said, opening the doors of Techhalla, aka ‘The Cloud’. Things only became more ethereal from there.

Chapter 5--Tweaking Some Info

Techdal was rapid in finding the files that Botley had released in revenge.   

‘Snip here, snip there.   Snip, snip, snip, aaaand, delete !’, Techdal said, sounding like a rather effeminate hair stylist.    Before long, Techdal flashed a huge grin and casually brushed his hands off as if he had done an extremely laborious task when he actually hadn’t broken a sweat at all.   

‘Anything else, Zordon ?’, Techdal questioned.   

‘An update if you will.   All systems need it with the latest brand of villains we’ve been facing.’, Zordon mentioned.   Techdal nodded his head, his armor clanking with every movement. There was a moment where Zordon wondered how that much armor couldn’t be a strain on Techdol’s body.  Then he realized, this wasn’t a man but a program created by the cloud’s developers.

‘Thank you, Techdal.’, Zordon said before he left.

‘No.  Thank you for keeping us safe from intergalactic threats.  I can only do so much so it’s the least I can give back to such splendid heroes as yourself.’, Techdal gushed nerdily.    Satisfied, Zordon went back and assumed his original form.

Chapter 6--The One Thing Techdal Forgot

Even with the most efficient guardians there are nooks and crannies that go unnoticed.   There was just such a virus by the name of Low Key who thrived on chaos, disorder and confusion.    Having breached the Cloud, he exited, traveling along the telephone wires, bursting at a chance to wreak some havoc.   

Epilogue

Low Key adjusted his robe and slicked back his shiny black hair that was darker than raven’s wings.   His beady black eyes surveyed the lay of the land. Reaching into his endless bag of tricks he began to sprinkle magic dust in the air.   It opened a portal to the Internet.

‘First the troll gate will be open….Ah, I can hear the memes now.’, Low Key thought to himself with a crooked smile.   The surreal digital realm was beginning to seep into the natural one, but no one noticed until Frogger started crossing a busy highway.  

‘Let the weirdness commence.’, Low Key sneered, cackling as his handiwork began to have a life of its own.

To Be Continued…