The Expanding Universe Paradigm

Synopsis:   Raj is finally able to find a house of his own.  Even though he is a part-time nanny to Bernie and Howard, he manages to bump into a beautiful young quantum physicist at a local con.   He wasn’t even looking for someone, but in the past few days, despite his friend’s deprecation, snide slights and constant deriding remarks of his character.   

‘Perhaps our situation will soon improve.’--Paige to Walter

‘Of course it will, my little asthma.’--Walter to Paige

‘Because she takes your breath away.’--Ralph

‘You got it !’--Walter, Scorpion, Maroon 3  

‘We are stardust in the highest exalted way reaching out to the Universe.’--Carl Sagan

‘You are pretending you cannot believe in impossible things.’--Mr. Wednesday to Shadow, American Gods: Head Full of Snow

Chapter 1--Making Ends Meet

Raj had found an affordable home and had begun learning how to budget.  He had never balanced a checking book before but he felt tremendous doing so for the first time.   He didn’t understand why in present days his friends, even himself had been so hard on him.   Sure, he hadn’t been exactly ‘lucky’ in love, but his studies had kept him from finding a high-quality, top-calibre woman.   He was tired of being so wishy-washy and knew that like in the movie Dil to Pagal Hai there was someone for everyone.   He wasn’t about to let his so-called ‘friends’ get him down.   He had taken charge of his life for once and not only that, but he was the Godfather of his best-friend’s child.    In a million years, he could’ve never foreseen that happening.   So many blessings were occurring he couldn’t help but feel euphoric.    Having a sense of purpose, he decided to go out and celebrate.   

‘I’m going out to see Baahubali 2 if anyone wants to come with.’, he said at the apartment one day.    Sheldon was still not home from New York and they wondered when he would Skype them back with news of his tet a tet with Amy.   

‘I’ve never seen a Bollywood film.  I’ll go.’, Penny volunteered.    Of course, a reluctant Leonard went along with her but not before Raj corrected Penny’s common mistake.  

‘It’s Tollywood, darling.’, he said, reprovingly.  

‘I won’t even try to understand the difference.’, she said, teasingly.    Raj began to tell her how to spot a Telugu feature from that of a Hindi one.   He also mentioned movies from different areas of India and what set them apart.    Being of a Hindu background, however, he was partial to Bollywood, but, Bahubali had been so incredible that he had to see how the second one would play out.

‘You guys are gonna love it.  It’s like Game of Thrones, Telugu style !’, he nearly squealed, amping them all up for the 2 hour long ride of their lives.    

‘I have to give Raj credit.  The movie was unbelievable.’, Leonard complimented.   

‘Yeah.  I didn’t think I could sit through something for a whole 2 hours…’, Penny added.  

‘You participated in our May the 4th celebration, and you didn’t even flinch, cringe or groan this time around.’, Leonard retorted, joyfully jarring her in the ribcage capriciously.    

‘I know, but only because you were there with me.’, Penny said.   Raj had felt tremendous before but all this lovey-dovey talk was making his lacrimal ducts sting.    The dam of tears was desperate to be released and he finally let loose.   

‘Oh, honey...I am so sorry.’, Penny said before Raj broke down into tears, weeping openly in front of them.   

‘I shouldn’t have asked you to come.  You are my best friends and I was missing Sheldon.  But all of you have such successful romantic lives.   I have no one.    I just was so consumed in my work I didn’t realize it was holding me back from ever discovering my twin flame.’, Raj said, sobbing uncontrollably.   If Howard had been there, he might have rubbed it in his face, but Raj wasn’t sure of that.    One matter was certain.  He was glad Howard wasn’t present.   The last thing he needed was his married best friend, astronaut extraordinaire to see him crying and in a fetal position on the couch.  

‘Hey, if it’ll make you feel any better, there’s an astrophysics convention coming up.  I had nearly forgotten about all of that.   With everything going on in our lives, especially Sheldon’s little jaunt to New York, I nearly blotted it out of my mind.   The study of the infinite always cheers you up, I know it.’, Leonard said, hugging his friend from the side.    Raj did something unexpected.   He kissed his friend on the cheek.

‘That wasn’t a gesture of homoeroticism.’, he explained, simply.  

‘Even if it was I don’t care.   But I’m married so, no dice, I’m afraid.’, Leonard jested.  Raj had to laugh.   It had been a while since he had experienced the type of laughter that rises from someone’s toes and percolates in their belly only to erupt from their mouth so effortlessly.   

‘You’re right.   I’ve got enough money and I can attend and see what others have to say about new findings on our Universe.’, Raj said, genuinely eager to go.  

‘Go for it !    Meet some new people.’, Penny said, patting his back.    

‘I shall do just that.’, Raj said, newly confident, taking a proud, erect pose and heading toward the door with a bit of a saucy saunter.    ‘They’re going to love the new Raj.  I’ll call him Raj 2.0.   Newer, better, spicier.’, he thought to himself while heading back to his car and into his apartment.    The weekend was wide open and full of possibilities and he was about to take those by the horns and own them like a boss.   

Chapter 2--Supernova Explosion   

Luckily the tickets for the Astrophysics convention weren’t sold out and Raj purchased them as quickly as he could.   He went the following day and attended all the lectures.   There was one stunning woman there wearing retro red-framed spectacles.   She had the most piercing blue eyes Raj feared he would drown in them.   Feeling butterflies flitting about his heart, he inhaled deeply and exhaled, garnering the courage to ask the young woman her name.  

‘I’m Andromeda.   They call me Andi for short.   I’m originally from Greece but I studied at CalTech.’, Andi said, adjusting her librarian specs.   Raj was instantly smitten and he could tell Andi was as well.   

The two began to talk and they had quite a few things in common.   Andi adored Bollywood and savored all sorts of ethnic foods, including Indian cuisine.  

‘I can make a mean chicken masala.   I have friends in India and when they came to visit in Santorini, they got homesick, so I would make them a little taste of home.’, Andi relayed with a huge smile.    Andi could feel electricity between them and wanted to learn more about him.

‘You sound like you are really starting to learn what life is all about.’, Andi complimented Raj while lightly brushing her hand against his.    Raj’s dark cheeks flushed even darker than before.   He had nearly forgotten how luscious the touch of a female was.    Suddenly, he received a call from Leonard.  

‘Raj, you have to come how, huge news, explosive news, earthshaking news !’, he explained.    

‘Is it ok if I tag along ?  I want to meet your circle of friends.’, Andi questioned.  

‘Certainly.  I don’t think they’ll mind.   In fact they’re going to adore you.’, Raj said, bravely taking Andi’s hand.   They drove back to the apartment in different cars and were at a loss for words when they saw Sheldon and Amy standing together, triumphantly.  

Chapter 3--Shamy Forever  

‘I know I’m just here visiting, but Sheldon asked me for my hand !’, Amy nearly squealed.  

‘Congratulations !’, everyone said.    Raj didn’t dare steal the spotlight, and Andi celebrated the joviality of the moment.  

‘Wait.   Who is this delightful creature ?’, Sheldon asked.   

‘I’m Andromeda, or Andi for short.   I met Raj at the convention.   That’s unimportant though.   What I came here for was this !   What an announcement !   Have you planned anything ?’, Andi asked, fitting right in.   Raj was inspired by her adaptability and ability to interact with people.   He knew being around her would be exactly what he needed to learn how to overcome his ineptitude of speaking to others.    He had come so far and was still improving.   Feeling confident, he labelled himself Raj 2.0.   It was sensational to actually be able to hold one’s head high and not be derided (although constructively) by his own peers.  

The wedding was held not far from their home.   Even though Andi had only been Raj’s girlfriend for a few months now, she was now a bridesmaid.   The two were unable to peel each other’s eyes from their mesmerising gazes.    Amy and Sheldon were the belles of the ball tonight though.  The heady euphoria of the wedding got them wondering if indeed, they would be next to marry.   It felt rather auspicious and the two revelled in the fact they knew it.    Kicking up their heels, they danced, ate and laughed merrily with their friends.   Amy seemed to be radiant, spinning about in her gossamer wedding dress.   

‘It’s like a dream come true.’, she whispered to Sheldon, who only held her tighter.

‘Then wait until tonight, fair maiden.   Once the rabble has worn off, we’ll be alone.’, Sheldon said, wriggling his eyebrows.    Like a fully ripened plum, Amy best knew that this experience was meant to be savored in all its juiciness.     

Before the ceremony came to a close, it was time for the friends of the bride and the groom to make their toasts, celebrating the people that Sheldon and Amy had become and were becoming.    They shared one last saucy jubilant smooch together and bade all their friends farewell for the evening.   

Chapter 4--Winning the Nobel   

With the help of Andi, Raj had been able to locate a comet that scientists had debated for years.   It was called the Koothra-Papadopoulos or the Koothra-Papa.  Sheldon, despite himself, was actually ebullient to hear that both of them would be receiving a Nobel.   He and the gang had won their respective Nobels and Raj was a little late to joining the ‘Nobel Gentlemen’s Club’, but at last he had gotten there through hard work and perseverance.  

‘Just think, Haley, when she gets old enough, will be able to observe the Koothra-Papa every 10 years.   Imagine what she’ll see in a decade from now.’, Raj said, as Howard hugged him in congratulation.

‘It’s time for us to make our speech.   Nervous ?’, Andi asked, fidgeting slightly.  Both of them hated large crowds and making public speeches, so they were facing two of their greatest fears but at least they were doing so as a team.   Their friends rooted them on from the audience.

‘I’ll be darned.  Sheldon is actually smiling.’, Andi witnessed, astutely.   Sheldon had never been this gleeful before, except when he had married Amy.   

Before stepping out on the stage up to the rather intimidating dias, Raj received a soft, beguiling smooch from Andi.   

‘I’m going to be just off stage a little.  You’ll see me from your periphery.’, Andi said in a tender tone, squeezing his hand before he walked in front of millions of people, Raj cleared his throat.    Of course, he mentioned his success was in part due to his friends who bolstered him along the way.   Many of the discoveries he had made were thanks to Andi’s involvement.   She was the integral piece to his puzzle and they fit like a hand into a kid glove.    

Chapter 5--Celebrated

The reception was incredible.  Many impressive people had come to throw a party for Andi and Raj, impressed by their latest astronomical find.   Stephen Hawking had come to chat with them and was overheard saying he actually preferred the company of astronomers over certain others in the nearest vicinity.   Sheldon was a little jealous but couldn’t have been happier for Raj.   At last Raj had gotten his limelight,  and there were tears of elation in his eyes.    

His parents, who had once nearly disowned him, had come to the reception to congratulate him themselves.  

‘Look at you.  We couldn’t be more proud !”, his father stated, his chest puffed to the public in a joyous display.    His mother couldn’t stop showering him with kisses and his family members were giving him so much love he could barely stand it.   They wanted to know everything about Andi and he finally felt that now was as good a time as any to announce  his future plans for Ms. Papadopoulos.   

‘Mom, dad, everyone.  If you will permit me.   I wouldn’t have gotten to the acme of my life so far if it hadn’t been for Andi.   She is the proton of my life.  Without her, light would be non-existent.  So, I was wondering, my little proton, would you be so willing to continue lighting up my life and becoming my wife ?’, he asked, crouching  on one knee and presenting the biggest, most dazzling diamond any of them had ever seen.  

‘Yes, ad infinitum !’, Andi said, accepting.   Raj spun her around and set her down and the two kissed.   It was a scene straight out of a Bollywood production and couldn’t have been more perfect.    Of course, Leonard was taking notes as to how to romance Penny and keep their love red hot.   

Epilogue

Haley Wolowitz was excelling in grade school and already showing tremendous aptitude to become a future engineer.   Sheldon was more than happy to allow her babysitting privileges with his little son, Sheldon Junior.    Raj and Andi were expecting their own little one but Andi wasn’t that far along well.   They weren’t aware whether they were having a boy or a girl.   The two wanted their baby to be a surprise.   

‘I suppose the only couple left to have a bundle of joy are you two.’, Andi said, nudging Penny.   Penny secretly had wanted a baby after seeing Haley grow up and thrive.   Their marriage had suffered snags in the past but the two had been able to patch up their differences and they were even more in love now than they had been in the past.    Sheldon Junior had been another pull on her heart to become a mother.   She had been thinking long and hard about it.  She knew a baby would change her life as well as Leonard’s.  

‘When our baby’s born, would you guys mind being Godparents ?’, Raj asked his friends.  At that moment, they all began to tear up, even Sheldon.

‘Of course we wouldn’t, we’d be tickled !’, Penny said, lighting up.   Leonard had never been a godfather, but the title made him feel a little taller than usual.  

Life continued to change for the tightly knit group of nerds and they only became closer in time.   None of them knew what tomorrow would bring but they didn’t want their lives to be any different.   Life was plenty fine with their friendship multiplying and their happiness growing exponentially.   

The End