Haunted, As Advertised

 

Table of Contents

Author’s Note

Chapter 1—Fall Break at the Undervale

Chapter 2—‘Didn’t You Hear the Ad, They Said ‘Haunted’ !’

Chapter 3—Stan Makes New Friends

Chapter 4—How Bizarre

Chapter 5—Pizza Party

Chapter 6—Sweet Dreams are Made of This

Chapter 7—Memories to Last a Lifetime

Epilogue

 

Author’s Note:   Seeing that Season 3 has mostly been satirical and parodying familiar horror franchises, I have a sneaking suspicion that my favorite comfort show will be cancelled.   I still have my favorite serials, The Simpsons and Bob’s Burgers.  While nothing has been announced about Season 4 yet, there is hope that if a new season is greenlit it’ll return to form like it did in Season 3, Episode 4. 

 

Chapter 1—Fall Break at the Undervale

                Grimsburg PD was slow going this morning.   Marvin ravenously savored a boysenberry danish, a black cup of coffee but he was becoming bored.   He stared at the phone, waiting for someone to call him.    So far, there had been nothing but crickets.  

                Mavin Bellwether arrived with homemade crullers for the entire precinct.   She even had something for Stan.    Although he had a girlfriend, he had relapsed somewhat into seeing Mr. Flesh again, but neither she, nor Marvin held that against him much.  

                ‘Given the fact that he didn’t really have many friends growing up, I can’t say I blame him.’, Marvin said out of Stan’s earshot.     The TV in the background rattled away news, politics, and typical Grimsburg happenings, but nothing of note or any true consequence was occurring.   

                ‘Ugh !   I’m BORED !   It’s so dull today.’, Marvin kvetched obviously.   Then, by coincidence, the TV had a bit of static.    Annoyed, Pentos whacked it hard and it reverted.  Then an ad played for the Undervale.    None of them had heard of this hotel but it seemed reasonable and the accommodations were amenable.  

                ‘We could all use a bit of a break.’, Kang admitted.    All of them had been working diligently to wrap up cold cases, close new ones, and protect and serve.    Stan agreed, he had been enjoying fall break, and it would be marvelous to bring Kat along.    She adored Victorian houses and would most likely jump at the chance of being invited to one.   

                The trip to the Undervale wasn’t too terribly out of the way for the gang and the sites surrounding it were extremely picturesque since the autumnal colors were at their peak and made the setting resemble a masterpiece by Thomas Kinkade.  

 

Chapter 2—‘Didn’t You Hear the Ad ?  They Said ‘Haunted’ !’ 

        The Undervale was well established, opulent, and welcoming.  Cat Freeling and her brother, Nathan, ran the establishment, while Esther and Ben oversaw a lot of the errands, such as cleaning, making the rooms accommodating for guests, and so on.     There was a useful bum named Shanea who made appearances every so often and a weird Victorian boy whom Mavin automatically intuited was an ancient demon possessing the boy’s body.

Kat was a bit annoyed that there didn’t seem to be any ghosts in the hotel, and that is what she came for.   Even Mr. Flesh was making backhanded remarks about the ‘lack of creep factor’, even though he and Abaddon got along like roommates that hadn’t seen each other since their college years.

                        ‘Didn’t you hear the ad ?  They said ‘haunted’ !’, Kat groaned.    Mavin paused momentarily and wanted to single Nathan out at first, but his eyes indicated that it would be rude.    Besides, there were plenty of other ghosts in the hotel and Mavin let them know the group was more than welcome to them, so long as they didn’t do anything to freak them out too much.

               ‘It takes a lot to scare me anyways, so if you try making me scream in the middle of the night, good luck.’, she said.    ‘There might be screaming tonight between the two of us.’, Harmony said seductively as she traced a heart on Marvin’s chest and made his legs wobble gelatinously for a second.    Oh, that woman.    She always knew Marvin’s buttons and just exactly when to push them.  

 

Chapter 3—Stan Makes New Friends

          Pentos was already having the time of his life with many of the criminal ghosts as they shared their ‘badges of honor’ when it came to breaking the law.    He was somewhat reformed, but he could still be evil whenever he liked, especially when it helped the PD out in solving cases.   

            Martinez, Wyonna, Mavin, Shanea, Kat, Catherine, and Esther all wanted to treat themselves to a bit of a girl’s night out.   They would get spa treatments (even though Esther balked at this, she was actually very invested in some much-needed self-care after a long week of ‘cuffing season’ guests), sing karaoke, enjoy a buffet at the closet Happy Dragon, and rest after doing a bit of sightseeing.  

          The men, however, were touring the hotel and being educated on the area.  

           ‘How’s Grimsberg compared to our little slice of paradise ?’, Ben questioned.

           ‘Beautiful but quite a few murders.   Weird stuff happens all the time.   Come to think of it, I’m not surprised your historical mansion has spirits, specters and the like.’, Marvin said.

          ‘This mansion is so cool !   Hey, would you mind if I recorded a music video on your balcony ?’, Stan questioned.   Abaddon was curious, and like the playful scamp he was, wanted to help his new friend out.   Greg was picking some flowers for Wynonna in the garden to impress her, and Kang and Pentos were playing a rousing game of tennis out on the court.    Kang had no trouble trouncing his friend, since he had a mean upper serve. 

 

Chapter 4—How Bizarre

              Stan’s music video was actually extraordinary and even if he didn’t become famous from his lovely little rock ballad for Kat, he knew that she would adore it and brag to all her friends about how clever and creative her boyfriend was.    The guys still wandered, getting lost for a moment in the hedge maze until dinner when they decided to order some Dominoes, a treatza pizza, a couple of gallons of Pepsi and breadsticks.    They offered to feed the Freelings, who were very moved by Grimsberg PD’s generosity. 

         ‘We’re on vacation, so we’re treating ourselves.’, Pentos said after another new pizza guy came and left and graciously accepted his tip.   He was a bit weirded out by the ghosts, but it didn’t matter since he got a massive bonus.  

          ‘Tonight, we feast like kings.   Thank you, mustachioed man !’, Abaddon said, gobbling the supreme pizza down and grinning contentedly.   

           ‘I’ve seen many bizarre things, but never a demon who loves pizza.   Guess I can daub that off my bingo card.’, Mavin commented, giggling.  

 

Chapter 6—Sweet Dreams are Made of This

        The ghosts were delighted to have another psychic who could talk to them and make them feel alive once more.   Even Mavin bumped into Bridget when she and the ladies had been out pampering themselves.

           ‘By the way, Nate.  Bridget sends greetings.  Says she’s thinking about you every day.’, she stated.   That got the typically garrulous extrovert tongue tied and blushing hotly.  

           ‘Man, I’m beat.   That spa trip was definitely worth it.’, Shanea said.   She and Kat had become fast friends, chatting over obscure bands and punk  cult movies.   They would be having a bit of a classic movie marathon before sleep overtook them.   Esther and Ben reunited and chatted about their day.    Ben wanted to play Scattergories before turning in and Esther didn’t mind fulfilling his request.    Wynonna felt more acknowledged and frankly didn’t want to return home, but she knew she could always connect with her new besties over the phone.   She was never alone, after all.

        That evening the entire PD  slept the soundest they had ever slept in weeks.   When morning arrived, Catharine had made everyone a continental breakfast and it was delightful.  

 

Chapter 7—Memories to Last a Lifetime

         Cat was impressed that the ghosts had been on their best behavior and had opened up so quickly to the Grimsburg PD.    It was almost tragic that they had to return home and start solving cases again, but honestly, they all lived for the thrill of it and deep down each of the members of that outfit enjoyed helping their community the best way they knew how.

       ‘We’ll catch the next Velveteers concert, right ?’, Shanea asked Wynonna.   

        ‘Oh, definitely.   Emo fest, alt fest, whatever you’re up for, gal !’, Shanea said, giving her ME a massive hug.    

     ‘Hey, let me snap a quick ussie before we split.’, Kat said, sidling up to Stan while interlacing her hand with his and lending him a sweet little smooch.   

      ‘Alright, say ‘Undervale !’’, Mavin said, happily.    The whole group repeated Mavin’s suggestion, hugging each other.    Everyone said their farewells and went their separate ways, all on a high note, contented and well rested.   

 

Epilogue

      ‘It’s a pity Undervale is quite a distance from home.’, Harmony commented. 

     ‘Why that’s true, our vacay was certainly well-deserved.’, Marvin agreed.   In the back of car, Kat laid her head against Stan and sighed pleasantly as she rested for the rest of the trip back home.   Stan still wasn’t old enough to drive yet, but the van was very accommodating, so she had nothing to complain about on her ride back home.  

       Nothing important really happened back in Grimsburg, which was quite unusual, especially around Halloween when it seemed more elicit crimes occurred.    Fortunately, though, the town was quiet, and everyone could have another restful day before coming back to work and November began.

 

The End